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Author Topic: Dwarf porn  (Read 24162 times)

Jingles

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Re: Dwarf porn
« Reply #15 on: May 29, 2011, 05:43:11 pm »

This is dwarf porn:

http://www.exceptionalminerals.com/halloffame.htm

(Note:  link is completely safe for work and not actual porn.  Unless you're a dwarf.)
I find it quite disturbing that I now get excited over sexy geological samples like that.

Organum

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Re: Dwarf porn
« Reply #16 on: May 29, 2011, 05:47:18 pm »

This is dwarf porn:

http://www.exceptionalminerals.com/halloffame.htm

(Note:  link is completely safe for work and not actual porn.  Unless you're a dwarf.)

It's...It's so beautiful.  :'(
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If dwarves decided to live in trees like hippies, they'd still do it better than the elves.

Girlinhat

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Re: Dwarf porn
« Reply #17 on: May 29, 2011, 05:51:50 pm »

I google image searched "Dwarf Fortress Porn".  Top interesting pics, the new city layouts that are coming with the new release.  A big pixel smiley face.  Airships.  Cutebolds.  More Airships.  Some neat fortress layouts, including one binary computer!

Darkmere

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Re: Dwarf porn
« Reply #18 on: May 29, 2011, 06:20:12 pm »

"Dirtydeed, the Mistress of Paddles", a rope reed fiber book.

This is a rope reed fiber book. All craftsdwarfship is of the kinkiest quality. It menaces with spikes of cat leather. It is encircled with handcuffs of adamantine. On it is an image of an elf and a dwarf. The elf is hanging over a magma pit. The elf is making a plaintive gesture. The dwarf is fapping. On it is an image of Dirtydeed, the Mistress of Paddles. On it is an advertisement for illicit "magma pumps."
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And then, they will be weaponized. Like everything in this game, from kittens to babies, everything is a potential device of murder.
So if baseless speculation is all we have, we might as well treat it like fact.

slink

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Re: Dwarf porn
« Reply #19 on: May 29, 2011, 06:58:30 pm »

This is dwarf porn:

http://www.exceptionalminerals.com/halloffame.htm

(Note:  link is completely safe for work and not actual porn.  Unless you're a dwarf.)

Oh, wow!  Good thing I don't work anymore.   ;D
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Almost losing is sometimes fun.

Cyroth

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Re: Dwarf porn
« Reply #20 on: May 29, 2011, 07:18:26 pm »

Did anyone else think of OotS when reading "dwarf porn"?  :D 1 2
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A noble just suffered a genuine unfortunate accident.
Has that ever happened before?

Particleman

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Re: Dwarf porn
« Reply #21 on: May 29, 2011, 07:57:36 pm »

This is dwarf porn:

http://www.exceptionalminerals.com/halloffame.htm

(Note:  link is completely safe for work and not actual porn.  Unless you're a dwarf.)

Does that mean adolescent dwarves hide gems under their mattresses and take them out at night to fondle and drool over while they stroke their... er, beards?
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Girlinhat

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Re: Dwarf porn
« Reply #22 on: May 29, 2011, 07:59:43 pm »

Also married dwarves, when their wives aren't looking.  Cheaper dwarves hide their mineral stones.  Precious olivine and cobaltite smut.

Javarock

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Re: Dwarf porn
« Reply #23 on: May 29, 2011, 08:00:20 pm »

This is dwarf porn:

http://www.exceptionalminerals.com/halloffame.htm

(Note:  link is completely safe for work and not actual porn.  Unless you're a dwarf.)

Does that mean adolescent dwarves hide gems under their mattresses and take them out at night to fondle and drool over while they stroke their... er, beards?

You got it completely correct...
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“When you cut pieces out of the truth to avoid looking like a fool you end up looking like a moron instead.”
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Sarda

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Re: Dwarf porn
« Reply #24 on: May 29, 2011, 09:45:36 pm »

And some especially deviant ones INTERTWINE their beards with stones.
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You'll have to provide warm, moist kittens at the end of each test chamber.
Dwarf Fortress:
Where 9% of your town is casualties, is good.

xeivous

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Re: Dwarf porn
« Reply #25 on: May 29, 2011, 09:58:03 pm »

This is a Gold Gimp Suit, the craftdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is studded with diamonds, it is studded with iron. It is decorated with hanging rings of marble. It menaces with spikes of cotton candy. On the item is an image of a dwarf in gold. On the item is an image of a dwarf in gold. The dwarf is doing unmentionable things to the dwarf. The dwarf looks happy. The dwarf looks relieved.
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Sallen

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Re: Dwarf porn
« Reply #26 on: May 29, 2011, 10:06:28 pm »

I immagine dwarf porn to be something like this...


"OH MY ARMOK! MAGMA THAT MENACES WITH SPIKES OF ADAMANTINE AND HAS A PICTURE OF ITSELF ON IT! OH, LOOK! ELVES ARE BEING THROWN INTO THE MAGMA"

For some reason I found this to be hilarious.

kopout

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Re: Dwarf porn
« Reply #27 on: May 29, 2011, 10:33:58 pm »

This thread is made of awesome. Also, very disturbing.
may I sig this?
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...although I've been having so much fun failing at this I just about forgot what my original aim was.

Girlinhat

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Re: Dwarf porn
« Reply #28 on: May 29, 2011, 10:47:42 pm »

It's a bit of a weak quote without the context...

erthel

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Re: Dwarf porn
« Reply #29 on: May 29, 2011, 10:48:05 pm »

The closest thing to porn I found searching for "dwarf fortress porn" was this:



Just change smegma for magma, and it could do.
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