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[Furtuka]

Hire an army of trolls to harass anyone who calls Nabe fat

[Aklyon]

Add an extra secret hat to find the nosiest coders, they might be good to have in Faucet as well to help boost the strength of the FAC.

[Glowcat]

Hire a team of elite commandos to kidnap Nabe in a manner that renders him unaware of what is going on, and give him forced liposuction while he's under. Return him to previous location, none the wiser.

Fat problem solved.

[TolyK]

Add a red button to the game.

[Xanatos Jr.]

In your spare time, change the physics to make ragdolls bouncier.

[Bdthemag]

You decide the only people who can counter trolls, are actual trolls. You hire 4chan to troll everyone who trolls gabe, its suprisingly effective.

You think about adding a big red button, but unfortunately only people with a high science skill would be able to press it so its taken out.

You the add in a hat thats two hats stacked on top of eachother, but deep within the game files.

You check on the game progress and see that it is currently 50% done. Somehow.