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Author Topic: Dwarven brain surgery  (Read 5065 times)

FoiledFencer

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Dwarven brain surgery
« on: May 23, 2011, 08:42:19 am »

In my current fortress, there was an unfortunate case of a siege operator wandering in front of a live battery of ballistae and taking a highwood bolt to the head. The report mentioned brain injury, so I presumed him dead on the spot. He proved sturdy however, as I soon after found that he was dragging his way to the hospital. Upon inspecting him I found that:

"His skull is broken. His brain is dented."

His biography describes him as "quite durable", but still.

Present state of the patient is as follows:
brain, brain tissue: Dented
skull, bone: needs setting, smashed apart
extreme pain
Has been sutured

Bonus points: A particularly vigilant doctor administered the sutures with adamantine strands. Hence the rather hardcore inventory of "Adamantine strands, Sewn into skull"

As awesome as I find the concept of dwarven brain surgery, I was unable to find any mention of it on the wiki. Has anybody else seen this happen?

[Also: First post!]
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Musashi

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Re: Dwarven brain surgery
« Reply #1 on: May 23, 2011, 09:31:21 am »

Whoa, that's very rare. Most of the time, when something is hit on the head, either the brain is seriously damaged in the process and it is an instant kill, either the skull alone is bruised/broken with the brain left untouched. That the brain suffers damage but still works seldom happens.  :o
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Oliolli

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Re: Dwarven brain surgery
« Reply #2 on: May 23, 2011, 10:28:34 am »

...the brain suffers damage but still works...

They don't work in the first place.
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Musashi

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Re: Dwarven brain surgery
« Reply #3 on: May 23, 2011, 10:41:29 am »

...the brain suffers damage but still works...

They don't work in the first place.
... point.
I should instead have said it hasn't been reduced to fine mush by the skull bone tearing it apart. The brain has 4 possible states, as far I know: intact, rotting (through syndrome and, I guess, death), torn apart (which equals death), and the rarest of all, dented.
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Necro910

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Re: Dwarven brain surgery
« Reply #4 on: May 23, 2011, 10:43:14 am »

...the brain suffers damage but still works...

They don't work in the first place.
The brain is actually a dwarven reactor powered by booze inside of the dwarf. The booze supplies power to pump all of the blood, and the body burns food into fuel. Then we can optimize beard growth!

FaultyLogic

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Re: Dwarven brain surgery
« Reply #5 on: May 23, 2011, 10:44:03 am »

The dwarven brain is actually a liver. Don't worry, he's got three more.
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Necro910

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Re: Dwarven brain surgery
« Reply #6 on: May 23, 2011, 10:48:35 am »

The dwarven brain is actually a liver. Don't worry, he's got three more.
His heart, his normal liver, and his diaphragm?

FaultyLogic

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Re: Dwarven brain surgery
« Reply #7 on: May 23, 2011, 10:50:15 am »

I was thinking of the ones in his knees. But you are probably right, as well.
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FoiledFencer

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Re: Dwarven brain surgery
« Reply #8 on: May 23, 2011, 10:59:26 am »

That would explain his decision of going for a drink right after leaving the hospital.
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Musashi

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Re: Dwarven brain surgery
« Reply #9 on: May 23, 2011, 11:02:24 am »

That would explain his decision of going for a drink right after leaving the hospital.
See? His brain still functions!  :D
Whatever it is it was doing in the first place, it's still doing it!
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Oliolli

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Re: Dwarven brain surgery
« Reply #10 on: May 23, 2011, 01:10:01 pm »

So what Necro and faulty are saying is that a dwarf will die of alcohol poisoning faster if he has lost his diaphragm/knees/heart?

But yes, if the brain did anything, it is probably still doing it.

The downside of this is that the elves will no longer pay as much for the brain as they would have previously. Who would want to buy a dented brain anyway?
« Last Edit: May 24, 2011, 09:17:02 am by Oliolli »
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When all you've got is an adjustable spanner and an entire freight warehouse of terrifying cogs and gears, everything looks like "just a prototype".
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You all turned Swordthunders into a bastion of madness that seems to warp in on itself under its own hatred of sanity.  I'm so happy!
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drowning babies everywhere o-o

Necro910

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Re: Dwarven brain surgery
« Reply #11 on: May 23, 2011, 01:14:34 pm »

So what Necro and faulty are saying is that a dwarf will die of alcohol poisoning faster if he has lost gis diaphragm/knees/heart?

But yes, if the brain did anything, it is probably still doing it.

The downside of this is that the elves will no longer pay as much for the brain as they would have previously. Who would want to buy a dented brain anyway?
How do you dent a brain, anyway?

Oliolli

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Re: Dwarven brain surgery
« Reply #12 on: May 23, 2011, 01:33:48 pm »

Probably the same way you dent a piece of metal.

Given how easily it tears, odds are it's gold.

The dwarven brain: a golden booze-powered liver/reactor.

Yes, it is a liver that requires booze to function.
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Quote from: Girlinhat
When all you've got is an adjustable spanner and an entire freight warehouse of terrifying cogs and gears, everything looks like "just a prototype".
Quote from: ThatAussieGuy
You all turned Swordthunders into a bastion of madness that seems to warp in on itself under its own hatred of sanity.  I'm so happy!
Quote from: Loud Whispers
drowning babies everywhere o-o

evileeyore

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Re: Dwarven brain surgery
« Reply #13 on: May 23, 2011, 01:41:42 pm »

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Naryar

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Re: Dwarven brain surgery
« Reply #14 on: May 23, 2011, 01:51:33 pm »

a dwarf will die of alcohol poisoning

What is this blasphemy ? Considering how rarely they drink (a few liters of alcohol per season), they certainly will not die of alcohol poisoning.
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