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[ggamer]

So... uh... I was just kind of chilling around my house yesterday, and now i'm in heaven.

It was really cool. You ever talk to King david? Dude's a nerd. Spent the last three years (relative) Playing dwarf fortress. He said it reminded him as his time as king. It was cool, he actually built a temple to god, he said he spent a week (Once more, relative) getting it right. I also saw Jesus. It... well, it was amazing. He told me about everything. Ever. Like, of all time. It was awesome. Apparently, That pilgrim settlement that came before jamestown? It was aliens all along.

Oh, and aliens got raptured too. Fucking crazy, I met this guy named tyberun. Dude's a riot, he spent the last few weeks studying human comedy. Me, him, and king David were all joking around, and apparently now we are heading back down to fight some demons and stuff.

So where are you guys at? Any other christian warriors?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Yes, this is a game about the rapture happening yesterday. Post like you would if the rapture was happening in real time.

[Burnt Pies]

Huh. I'd thought that was all a bunch of bullshit. Well, I suppose it explains why the house is so quiet now. Well, quiet other than my music, anyway.


Well, having checked the street outside, I can safely say we've got something of a demon problem in these parts. I'd give 'em both barrels, but I'm not a Farmer or a Pub Landlord, and therefore don't own a shotgun. I'll go check what there is in the Garage, but I can't see there being much more than blunt instruments. Better than nothing, I suppose.

[Kadzar]

[Somewhere in Wisconsin]

Everything seems fine here, except for some storm clouds. I mean, they do seem rather dark and foreboding but, otherwise, everything seems fine.

Huh, the clouds seem to be moving quite fast.

Now that they're closer, I swear I can make out shapes in the clouds. It looks like- HOLY FUCKING SHIT, FLYING SCORPIONS WITH FACES OF MEN!

[Fniff]

Me and my family seem to be the only ones left in the village.

The benefits of living in Ireland...

[Darvi]

There's still some people left around here.

Not for long though. I think whatever's out there is about to kill them... aaaand they're gone.

[Burnt Pies]

The Garage has yielded some Biking Leathers and a 9 Iron. Those things don't seem to bothered about house to house searching, but it's always better to be prepared. Not sure what they're waiting for, but I wish they'd get on with it.

[NewsMuffin]

Fucking hell man. Fucking hell. I thought this place would be all pain and torture, but shit, there are some really cool guys down here. Lucifer is my bro forever.

[Darvi]

Cool. Please tell him he still owes me a bunch of bucks.

[choobakka]

Damn Minnesota. Half the people are gone. Including most of my friends. Just the annoying hipsters left... I'm going insane. Any of you have a zombie problem? Because I don't know what these things are, but they look like zombies, they walk like zombies, and they die like zombies. Maybe demons possessing dead bodies? Shotguns or baseball bats work pretty well.

[NewsMuffin]

Shit, Darvi, I couldn't ask him before Satan and Hitler told us we had to go fight some pussy ass angels or some shit.

[Fniff]

Fuck me I am bored.

I never knew the apocalypse could be so...Dull.

[choobakka]

The problem with heaven and hell is that they're both ASSHOLES. Tearing up our homes, not letting us in... I could be in Limbo right now if the Pope hadn't closed it down, but nooo, I have to be stuck on earth. With the zombies. And almost no women.

[Burnt Pies]

Things on the street seem to have noticed me watching them. Got something tearing down my front door, it's got claws the size of kitchen knives. I'm lying in wait in the kitchen, gonna smack him one with the 9 Iron when he walks past.

[Kadzar]

[Wisconsin]

Well, I'm safe for now, but humanity won't survive long if we're all spread out. We need some sort of rallying point. Actually, we need several rallying points; it would be mighty inconvenient for folks across the pond to get here and vice versa.

[NewsMuffin]

Shit, me and a coupla the guys got thrown up here in fucking England. Fucking hate this place. We saw some guy in a window, and one of the guys is trying to get in. Man, I'm glad I don't have hands like his. Be hard to do anything with.