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[Reelyanoob]

For those who aren't aware. FATAL is one of the most famously godawful RPG systems out there. My understanding is that the depravity of the game is best illustrated by the fact that characters have an anal circumference (complete with rules for what happens if something larger gets shoved up there), and the incompetence is best illustrated by the fact that it can wind up negative.

Seriously incompetent rules.

e.g there's a roll of d100, then you have to roll ANOTHER d100 and the check passes if that roll is less than the first one. e.g. exactly 50% chance of success, you might as well just flip a coin.

AND you have to roll 400 d10's just to get your "basic stats", then you have to do more maths... btw I'm not just making up the '400' figure, it's literally true. (10d100/5-1) * 20 stats.

Apparently there's even pages where you have to do explicit linear algebra / quadratic equations.

Ah, well. I don't think anyone here who would run it would ever even bother with using it for anything, so most likely it would never come up.

...Hopefully.

Umm ... in FATAL random magic fumbles can make you possessed to fist the anus of your spell target. So this is going to come up in play regardless. Also, there's playable demons which can have permanent curses that make everyone ass-f**k in a set radius, I think.

Personally I want to see someone get the "giant balls" fumble. The 'average' effect is like 125 meter (wide or around?) balls.

[Gatleos]

Apparently there's even pages where you have to do explicit linear algebra / quadratic equations.

Sex. I'm not kidding. When your character has sex, their performance is determined by a set of variables that you have to plug into a quadratic equation. EVERY TIME.

[Reelyanoob]

I had an unintended pun on 'explicit' 

And reading the reviews, a human/demon hybrid with "cat eyes" mutation get's a penalty to charisma, but another demon of that race can have goat legs, horns, a third-eye in their forehead, and a cloud of faeces odour and get no penalty.

[SeriousConcentrate]

Yeah, I mean... I like stats & skills, don't get me wrong, but there's such a thing as TOO FRICKIN' MUCH. You have to roll 4d100 several times for your basic stats, and the best part, you have to roll for trivialities too such as what your hair is like. Yeah. You roll for your hair color, thickness, and length. And let's not overlook such other things as the greatest addition of all time, Retard Strength! Then there's the ridiculous amount of skills to keep track of, and then you have to worry about shit like "Well, OK, I'm a (dwarf), so according to the Racism Chart, I automatically hate (humans)." And I'm pretty sure every species hates every other species, which is ridiculous; are you trying to tell me there's never been one instance of two races living together in some kind of harmony, or at least worked together for the greater good of both?

Oh! And rolling to determine whether your character is gay, straight, or bi, and how far they're willing to go. (There is so much more I could rant about on this subject, particularly in the Crimes section, but I don't want to. I'm feeling venomous but not enough to get into it.) Or rolling for their morality and general attitude. Because how a character thinks, feels, and acts should be COMPLETELY up to the dice. And although you can choose your profession, because every job gets XP differently the only one worth picking is Bandit, since they get 1 XP for every bit of money they steal as well as for how much damage they deal every time they hit. Or you could, y'know, be a baker and literally get 1/10th of an experience point for every loaf of bread you bake.

...

I really, REALLY loathe the creator of FATAL. And yet I can't help but want to try one game of it just to say I did it. It's like watching the non-MST'd version of Manos.

[Reelyanoob]

Yeah, I mean... I like stats & skills, don't get me wrong, but there's such a thing as TOO FRICKIN' MUCH. You have to roll 4d100 several times for your basic stats, and the best part, you have to roll for trivialities

4d100 is not quite correct. (It was 4d100/2-1)

In the current edition (going by RPGnet review): it's roll 10d100, divide by 5 and minus 1

and "several" is 20 stats. Then you have to add up each set of 4 related stats, average the result, and those are your attribute group stats. In D&D standard, you roll 6 x 3d6 = 18 dice total. You roll more than this per stat in FATAL! And there's 20 to roll.

Also, after rolling 400 dice, the DM can tell you to re-roll the character if you got all low rolls, and there's no "re-assign points" mechanism, you just have to start all over again.

[SeriousConcentrate]

...The number of times you roll has gone UP? Oh my God.... *facepalm*

[Reelyanoob]

Funny, but that's almost the identical reaction one of the reviewers had

[SeriousConcentrate]

I almost hate to ask for anything that's Fable-related at this point, but... link? I'll read it in the morning.

[Sheb]

Should,t it be 200 dices? (20 x 10)

[Reelyanoob]

d100 is two dice, you roll them 10 times. You do this x20. Total = 400 dice rolled.

200 is actually the number of time you have to roll dice, though.

My fave might have to be the d10000000 (d-ten-million) you have to roll for pregnancy. For that one-in-ten-million chance of quintuplets.

[Sheb]

Right, I forgot that. Or else, if you've got 10 d100 (and a laaaarge hand) you can
 Do it quickly enough.

[Reelyanoob]

If they're all colour-coded that'd work. I'd have to write down a colour-key to remember which is units and tens of each pair though.

AND HERE'S THE REVIEW!. Have some time to read this, it's long but worth it (unlike the game under review).

There's a similar 'review' on something awful, HERE. a lot shorter, and called "10 reasons why we will never review FATAL"

I'm guess I'll join in, though For extra fun, I suggest everyone play Anakim wizards.

[Sheb]

I simply got D10 dices labelled "10", "20", "30" and so forth.

[Ghazkull]

i just had to laugh so hard i began reading the damn manual...who the fuck is going to host such a game? also how are you going to play a dwarf or an elf anyway? The Elf dies once hes away from his forest and the dwarf dies from the first blink of sunlight....awesomness i needed 3 hours to make that character and now a sunray kills him...XDD

[Ultimuh]

"10 reasons why we will never review FATAL"

I read the "review" and..
I.. I.. my eyes..  D:

#1. Just.. why?  WHY! D: