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[Darvi]

Blaaaah. Due to computer failure the turn still isn't ready yet. Only 50% or so :V Gotta get going, gotta get going..

[Darvi]

Guess what. I didn't get to do the second half, but since it can wait 'til the next turn, I guess I can update now and make next part over the next few weeks.

[Darvi]

>Your name is Arnold Matthews.

Your name is Arnold Matthews.
You have just begun to exist, or rather, your EXISTENCE has only now become relevant.
Normally it would be rude to say something like that about somebody of your status, but you don't mind.
You are much more interested in other things.

You're most proud of your collection of BOTTLECAPS.
Especially those with the BOTTLES still attached to them.
You are fascinated by GLASSWORKING, and how the brittle material gets shaped into the most peculiar shapes.
Because of this interest you have also started playing several GLASS-BASED INSTRUMENTS, from water-filled wineglasses to crystal chimes.

Your other major interest is EXPLORATION.
Your goal in life is to become a famous researcher on wildlife and machete-swinging conqueror of rainforests.
You like to DISSECT INSECTS, and posses several tomes on biology.
Unfortunately you don't own a MACHETE yet though.
In fact you're not even allowed to get close to any sharp objects bigger than a steak knife.
Far too dangerous for somebody as important as you.
You think people should really stop worrying about you.

Mick:

>Mick: Drop something on it

You try to but...
You feel like you shouldn't interfere.
This is something he has to do himself.

Richard:

> INSPECT the CAKE. Try BREAKING it by dropping it in the hole in the floor and seeing what develops.

The CAKE seems to be made entirely out of CRUXITE.
You wonder how the CANDLES can even burn without wax or even a wick.

You dump the CAKE through the hole into your SIS' room.
[3] Aside from a pair of CANDLES going off, nothing seems to have happened.
A very short while thereafter, the CANDLES seem to reignite themselves.

1:55

Enrique:

>Dang Flabbit! Keep working boy!

You keep moving those pieces.
[4] It begins to dawn on you that the PUZZLE is, in fact, unsolvable.

0:30

Matt:

>FIND a CARPET and put it on TOP of the TV WRECKAGE.

[6] You find an expensive PERSIAN RUG and put it on the TV.
It then spontaneously starts to catch on fire.
[4] It's only a small flame though, and you easily manage to extinguish it.

Derek:

Desperation attack: I will survive!

0:11

You start feeling like time has slowed down.

0:10

You don't even notice the incoming pesterchum messages.

Spoiler: Pesterlog (click to show/hide)

------manipulativeCyborg[MC] began pestering autisticGamer at XX:XX---
 
 MC: i WouLD JuST LiKE To iNFoRM You
MC: aBouT YouR iMPReSSiVe aBiLiTieS aS a SeRVeR PLaYeR
MC: NoBoDY iN ouR CHaiN MaNaGeD To KiLL oFF ouR CLieNTS So FaST
MC: aLTHouGH
MC: We aCTuaLLY CoNNeCTeD WiTH ouR CLieNTS BeFoRe THeY DieD
MC: So i GueSS You GoT LuCKY
MC: BuT THaT'S aLRiGHT
MC: We CaN JuST SCRaTCH ouT THe aNoMoLieS aT THe eND oF THe eXPeRiMeNT
MC: FoR Me, iT WiLL Be a CouPLe oF MiNuTeS
MC: BuT FoR You
MC: WeLL
MC: LeT'S JuST SaY iT WiLL Be a LoNG DaY oF TeSTiNG
MC: a LoNG, LoNG DaY
MC: BuT i WiLL GiVe You aNoTHeR CHaNCe
MC: BY DePLoYiNG a SuBJeCT FRoM our SeSSioN
MC: iNTo YouR'S
MC: FoR SCieNCe
MC: THiS FiGHT SCeNe iS iMPeSSiVe
MC: i HaVe WaTCHeD iT SeVeRaL TiMeS NoW
MC: YeT i CaNNoT FiGuRe ouT HoW You WiN
MC: iT aPPeaRS To Be SCieNTiFiCaLLY iMPoSSiBLe
MC: WHiCH iS THe MoST oBViouS ReaSoN WHY i HaVe CHoSeN To STuDY You
MC: aFTeR aLL
MC: SCieNCe iS NoT SCieNCe
MC: WiTHouT THe eRRoRS

0:09

You start concentrating.

0:08

You feel some sort of energy flowing through your body.

0:07

[?] You focus this energy into your staff.

0:06

You lift your staff.

0:05

The colossus charges towards you.

0:04

You start running towards the colossus.

0:03

Spoiler: You jump up in the air. (click to show/hide)

Kinda like this, but less goofy looking, and more awesome.

0:02

5+? vs. 6+?

0:01

[SeriousConcentrate]

>Head back downstairs to Sis's room. Use the FIRE EXTINGUISHER on the CANDLES. Captchalogue the CAKE if nothing happens.

[Dermonster]

(S) ?? ?

[TherosPherae]

>Allocate PLASTIC TOY MACHETE to Strife Specibus. Then start messing around on your computer.

[freeformschooler]

Here ya go Darvi.

Spoiler: >Derek: Desperation Attack. (click to show/hide)

Sorry for butting in, I needed an excuse to draw.

[Dermonster]

YESSSSSSS

Though all of you seem to be getting the staff wrong.

*Inner Raeg rises up*

MUST CORRECT HORRENDOUS MISTAKE!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The head of the staff. It's made of something called 'Bellzone' apparently. Don't know how its spelled or even if that's actually the material. From what I've heard it's expensive stuff. Also something about nuclear reactors. Note the symbol. Not gonna explain it, but note it anyways.


The body. It's about 64 inches long. Nothing special here.


The other end of it. Weird discoloration, the metal is actually faded yellow, but that's paint and it's actually steel. This black stuff is a much cheaper form of whatever that 'bellzone' stuff is.

I've had it for a pretty long time now and I can twirl this sucker around in MY FEET. Annoys the hell out of everyone when it crashes into my monitor (300 times and counting, this is one hella tough monitor).

SO YEAH. I actually have a god damned staff. (Technically two but the one with the deer antler is my brothers.)

Give it a couple months and I'll have a sword too.

But yeah this is so beautiful ;.;

[Strife26]

>MAKE a FUNNY ONE-LINER about the SITUATION, possibly with a CLASSIC MEDIA REFERENCE.

[Riccto]

>[/B] CHUCK IT! SMASH IT! DO SOMETHING![/B]

[Ottofar]

>Recap!

[Strife26]

>LOCATE a set of SHADED GLASSES if possible.

[kisame12794]

What kind of sword, and please PLEASE do not say a pointy one.

[Dermonster]

(If talking to me) ONE MADE OF PUUUURE STEEEEEL (and other assorted metals) [Sharpened]

[kisame12794]

................I hate you.