RECAP TIME
*sits down in dining room to charge the computer*
A good thing about already being dead is that you don't need to sleep. So I guess while the rest of the house is snoring away I'll put down a retell of what happened.
Rapture happened. I died, like, instantly. Enlightened, but not a true believer, I was sent to Limbo. At the gates of hell, I bumped into the Anti-Christ, who was just leaving, and our netbooks got mixed up, I really he doesn't see any of the devil porn I had on tha- ANYHOW, I lost my clothes and found out I had the laptop of the apocolypse. It turns out the antichrist has a big fetish for angels. A bit tasteless, but whatever. Oh, also I accidentally summoned a small army of 666 friendly succubus and stopped up all the portals leading to the underworld. Two of the succubuses are guarding our house right now. Thanks to a random pull of a sword by BD I got an express ticket out of hell, which is cool, but it means that I had to put on clothes again, which sucks slightly. I only put pants on, so at least I'm half naked.
Warhammer was the first of us to find out that the Angels aren't our friends at the moment. Between him and the others, we've killed a lot of them so far. I'm pretty sure god will be OK with it though cause they're pretty much going to just go back to heaven when they die. Some girl Warhammer thought was hot turned into a succubus no thanks to me and they escaped in a weirdly decorated hummer, which promptly was wrecked. He made his way to the mansion we're in now, and painted an elephant in magma being laughed at by a miner to attract the other people here. Even though I warned him, he tried to have intercourse with the Succubus. Judging by all the handcuffs and various other instruments he was fitted with it seems he succeeded, but at what cost, I wonder.
BDthemag was stuck in a starbucks when the rapture hit. He ran to his house to get all his things, and had an encounter with a Bay12er zombie that retained his semi-intelligence and his zombie horde. The BDthemag quickly hurried to the mall of america. It was a total crater so BD found a Pilot to fly him to New Jersey, where Warhammer was. It would have turned out fine but apparently the intelli-zombie was sleeping on the plane that they were using. He killed the pilot and the plane crashed. BD survived somehow, and found the mansion to not be too far away. He got maced by Phantom when he came in, I hear he was a big baby about that for a long time. after he stopped crying he went into the basement and found that there was this ominous looking sword in the middle. He pulled it out and opened a portal to my room in Limbo, Hell. He had to avert his eyes from my naked beauty.
Phantom was in San Diego (hey, that's where I live!) when the rapture hit. Apparently, Deep-Ones sprouted from LA and he had to fight them off. It was ok though because they soon headed for Minnesota instead. He came to NJ for the hell of it, and thanks to time warps he did it in one day by my time frame.
PNX got possesed by the anti-christ. A big brand on him saying "666" popped up on his arm and people started chanting outside his door. I have the Anti Christ's laptop that contains a whole bunch of the antichrist's powers and all of his porn though, so I don't know what he can do.
Impending Doom's rabbit turned into a succubus, which is weird but OK. He sort of stumbled his way to the mansion by mistake. His rabbit-succubus and Warhammer's succubus got into a big fight, then had sex later. It was awesome, if only the Anti Christ's computer had Fraps so I could show you.
Somehow Taricus got here, and by some shenanigans opened up a portal to Valhalla in the mansion. It doesn't count as hell really so I couldn't shut it. anyhow now there's a mythical dog roaming around and a god of trickery hanging around in one of the rooms and people who getting killed in the mansion just come back in Valhalla and walk out again. That's pretty cool.
Empowered with rage by Justin Bieber, Ochita got magic powers somehow and teleported to the mansion. He made me wear clothes, Meanie.
Ragnarok was using my computer too. He thinks he's hacked into it but in reality I just let him telnet into it's router. Pff, viruses? not on my watch, I've got Dis Antivirus Software, I'm not sure how good it is but I was told by the people in LIMBO that it's good enough to keep out sinners from even the lowest reaches of hell. I just kicked him out after he tried to add a [IS_MALE] tag to the succubus raws. Get off, you! Stop messing with my daughters!
Some other things happened elsewhere about huge blobs or somthing but they weren't here, so I really don't care.
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Topic: Aw sweet we're not dead. (Read 12126 times)