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Author Topic: Ubenudil, Soaplanterns - Soapmaker's Guild Fort  (Read 57037 times)

zephyr_hound

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Re: Ubenudil, Soaplanterns - Soapmaker's Guild Fort
« Reply #270 on: May 28, 2011, 07:48:58 am »

the terror a goblin would experience as a giant, frantically flapping bird swooped erratically down on him, a screaming, hiccuping booze-bloated midget toppling from its back to crush aforementioned goblin into gobbo paste

paging bitterhorn... I think we need an engraving of this :))
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Azzuro

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Re: Ubenudil, Soaplanterns - Soapmaker's Guild Fort
« Reply #271 on: May 28, 2011, 08:21:00 am »

Make gatling catapults. You do so by making a quantum stockpile of stone (remember to unforbid!) on the central tile of the catapult, where the operator stands and loads it. I've had catapults firing at rates comparable to a marksdwarf with this method.
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TapeNoot

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Re: Ubenudil, Soaplanterns - Soapmaker's Guild Fort
« Reply #272 on: May 28, 2011, 09:16:49 am »

Gatling catapults: Taup's happy place
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trigg

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Re: Ubenudil, Soaplanterns - Soapmaker's Guild Fort
« Reply #273 on: May 28, 2011, 09:18:42 am »

And if we disagree on the use of quantum stockpiles, a non-economic stockpile nearby would probably be a good idea.
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Yoink

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Re: Ubenudil, Soaplanterns - Soapmaker's Guild Fort
« Reply #274 on: May 28, 2011, 09:54:57 am »

the terror a goblin would experience as a giant, frantically flapping bird swooped erratically down on him, a screaming, hiccuping booze-bloated midget toppling from its back to crush aforementioned goblin into gobbo paste

paging bitterhorn... I think we need an engraving of this :))

:P Well, I just made my own attempt. I'm quite proud of it, actually... Will see if I can procure the use of a scanner tomorrow.
I don't know if we need gatling catapults, myself... I mean, I don't even know how effective a normal one is. Isn't it pasting enough goblins already? How do they even work? Still, crazy ideas are always fun. :D
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zephyr_hound

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Re: Ubenudil, Soaplanterns - Soapmaker's Guild Fort
« Reply #275 on: May 28, 2011, 10:26:25 am »

There is indeed a 5x5 regular stockpile just below the catapult. All Taup Caudata has to do is duck down the stairs and grab a rock.
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zephyr_hound

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Re: Ubenudil, Soaplanterns - Soapmaker's Guild Fort
« Reply #276 on: May 28, 2011, 10:38:20 am »

"Come on, let us up there!" Amante said angrily.

"Absolutely not. Not while that elite crossbowman is there."

"We took one of those guys out before."

"Yes, but he was on his own and it still took ten of you. How are you going to hit one specific goblin in the middle of a huge horde of lashers and cave crawlers? It's suicide. At least let Taup Caudata soften them up a bit first."



"Taup! Try and hit the bowman!"



"He just used that axeman as a shield!" Endok said indignantly. "Scumbag."



The goblins had realized now that they were trapped. Atu pulled his cave crawlers further back, out of range of the catapult. The general spoke to his hammer squad in a quick, urgent tone, too low to be clearly overheard.



Summer

"The elves want to leave, Mr Madushkubuk," trigg said.

"Well, tell them they're welcome to, but they'll have to walk out through about fifty pissed off goblins."

"Can we at least clear those two hammermen out of the gatehouse?" said Amante.

"I don't see a problem with--wait." I snapped my fingers. "The cage traps! If we can get that bowman into a cage... All right. Get in there and get rid of them."





"Coast's clear," Amante called. "Send in the mechanics!"

It was noisy up top, what with the screams of injured goblins outside the walls, and an occasional BANG or splash from a misaimed rock.

A group of lashers came over to investigate the small phyllite structure that fired rocks with deadly force. Cursing, Taup Caudata retreated underground. Amante led the Seas of Silver up on the walls (well away from the goblin crossbowman) and drove them off with a few well placed bolts.



Taup Caudata popped up again hauling another lump of rock.



12th Hematite

The bowman had spotted the marksdwarves up on the walls. He slotted an arrow into his crossbow and raised it with practised ease.



For the third time in her life, Bembul fell screaming with an arrow in her chest.

"Down off the wall!" Amante shouted. "Everyone down!" There was a scramble.



"Now do you believe me about the bowman?" I said. "Nobody else goes up on the walls while he's there. That's an order."

With the marksdwarves unable to provide cover for the pillbox, Taup Caudata was forced to retreat below for good. Bessie fell silent.



7th Malachite

"Please," the elf said, nearly in tears, "we must go. You don't understand. It is vitally important."

"Well, what do you want me to do, open the gate and let you out? There's a dozen hammergoblins on cave crawlers right outside--you'll be torn to pieces."

"We could dig a tunnel under the river..." said Rovod the miner, thoughtfully.

"Are you crazy?"

"No, seriously. The goblins are all on this side, and there's no bridges. The eastern half of the jungle is clear of hostiles. Of course, the elves will be going closer to Todosta if they head east, but that's their lookout. They'd get a head start at least."

The elf looked at me with anguished hope.

"Oh, what the hell," I said. "Do it, Rovod. But we'd better make damned sure we block it up again straight afterwards."



The elves were hurrying over even before the tunnel was finished, coaxing their reluctant horses around mounds of dirt that we hadn't had the time to clear away.



I wondered what their wretched hurry was. But we had their bird, so who cared...



23rd Malachite

The gate house had sprouted nine more cage traps.



"Nearly ready," billybobfred said. "Just waiting for the last cage to be brought up."

"Call everyone underground then," I said. "And let's see if they bite."
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magmaholic

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Re: Ubenudil, Soaplanterns - Soapmaker's Guild Fort
« Reply #277 on: May 28, 2011, 10:48:11 am »

oh noes,poor Bembul :v
try to make somekind of trap to the other entrance,too?
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katana

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Re: Ubenudil, Soaplanterns - Soapmaker's Guild Fort
« Reply #278 on: May 28, 2011, 10:50:58 am »

Have you considered wooden weapon traps?
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magmaholic

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Re: Ubenudil, Soaplanterns - Soapmaker's Guild Fort
« Reply #279 on: May 28, 2011, 10:53:12 am »

cages :3?
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katana

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Re: Ubenudil, Soaplanterns - Soapmaker's Guild Fort
« Reply #280 on: May 28, 2011, 10:57:14 am »

I was thinking spiked wooden balls or something to wear the gobs down/bruise them.
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AND IF THIS FAILS MY IDENTICAL TWIN BROTHER WHO WILL APPEAR IN THE MIGRANT WAVE THAT ARRIVES AFTER MY DEMISE WILL REPLACE ME.
(Tldr: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS FRIENDLY FIRE SALT)

zephyr_hound

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Re: Ubenudil, Soaplanterns - Soapmaker's Guild Fort
« Reply #281 on: May 28, 2011, 11:09:36 am »

The sandstone gate slammed down, squashing a hammergoblin flat. Roaring, furious, the remaining goblins surged into the gatehouse.

TwangSNAP
TwangSNAP
TwangSNAP
TwangSNAP
TwangSNAP...

There were too many--they were going to overwhelm the traps! "Pull the lever!" I yelled in a panic.

The gates slammed shut again. There was a confused murmur from the gatehouse, then silence.

"Well?" Amante said.

Very cautiously, Endok crawled up onto the roof of the guardhouse and peered over, holding his battered copper cap tightly to his head in case of a surprise crossbow assault.



"We got him!" he yelled, jumping to his feet. "WE GOT HIM!"

"Right. Amante, get your marksdwarves up on the walls. You've got some shooting to do."
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trigg

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Re: Ubenudil, Soaplanterns - Soapmaker's Guild Fort
« Reply #282 on: May 28, 2011, 11:12:04 am »

Woo!
Hope we have enough bolts!
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zephyr_hound

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Re: Ubenudil, Soaplanterns - Soapmaker's Guild Fort
« Reply #283 on: May 28, 2011, 11:15:02 am »

This made me lol.



I think he's got a crush on Bessie.
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trigg

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Re: Ubenudil, Soaplanterns - Soapmaker's Guild Fort
« Reply #284 on: May 28, 2011, 11:15:55 am »

Aww bless :D
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