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[Geb]

Ah, wonderful windmill, providing flour and sugar. There's so much that a dwarven cook can do with these wonderful ingredients.

For example, you can put the sugar onto the flour, or put the flour onto the sugar. Or you can put sugar onto quarry bush leaves, and mince them. Or put flour on plump helmets, and mince them...

I could go on listing recipes almost forever. So versatile!


(I have occasionally thought that the kitchen workshop should use fuel so that there can be some actual heating of things instead of just mincing ingredients. This is, of course, nothing but an excuse to have a second workshop type available: the magma kitchen)

[Algeroth]

Interestring premise for this fort. Could I be dwarfed? The marks/hammerdwarf combination you've wrote about made me wonder if its viable. Could you take one dwarf (no preferences here, just pick the one that you think is best) and nickname it "Al"? Lets see how long he/she will live. (And could you make a steel crssbow for that dwarf?)

[zephyr_hound]

Re general, no. I tried that in my other fort which is now 27 years old. If he leaves the map he disappears off the list of leaders for the goblin civ, and they'll never have a general again. It's related to the thing where you get a new dwarven liaison every year. At least while we have Atu caged they're still listed as having a general.

We actually don't have a lot of iron, even now. The main things we're getting off the goblins are iron caps, and you have to melt ten of those to get one bar. I would guess about 50% of killed goblins have an iron cap/shield and the rest of them have copper. Rarely I get an iron great axe or two handed sword which is half a bar right there. I am starting to work on armor though, hoping the dwarven caravan will bring a good amount of steel and pig iron this year.

Algeroth, I can dwarf you but don't expect to have a steel crossbow for some years!

[Algeroth]

Damn, It looked soo optimistic from your report. Ok, give me the heaviest crossbow you have.

[zephyr_hound]

I'll just leave this here.

[peregarrett]

Woo-hoo!!! What I was working on? Mail shirt? Breastplate?

EDIT: By the way, shoudn't we start melting excess armor? If each of those goblins had a mail shirt or boots, we'd have them more than enough. And melting armor returns quite a bit.
Also, buy all anvils traders bring, they don't have quality modifiers and thus have stable cost.

[zephyr_hound]

Leather armor and regular shoes/socks for the goblins, I'm afraid. When I say we're melting caps and shields, I mean the only metal they have on them is their caps, weapons and occasional shields. Never mind, we'll get there in the end.

At least their lack of equipment makes them easier to shoot

EDIT: and yeah, anvils account for about half our current steel stock LOL. Thank Kovest for anvils and their 1/1 yield rate, it's actually slightly cheaper to buy an anvil than the equivalent steel bar.

[zephyr_hound]

Another nine dwarves joined us on the 27th Malachite, bringing Soaplanterns' population to 195 dwarfs. Nearly two hundred dwarves! The place was a metropolis. I didn't recognize most of the faces I saw in the bustling corridors. We were going to need more bedrooms, there were a lot of homeless dwarves right now. Dr Kosotham got quite annoyed to find the beds in his brand new phyllite hospital constantly occupied.



11th Galena

"They're back, Zephyr," Endok said.

"Seriously?"

"Afraid so. It's mainly swords and pikes this time, but they've got an elite bowman with them."

"Right," I said, thinking quickly. "Get your marksdwarves down off the walls and pull them back to the inner fortress. And tell Taup Caudata to ready Bessie, we may need her."

"We gonna trap them?" the marksdwarf said.

"Some of them. I don't want to let that bowman in at all if I can help it."

A group of ogres made it through the gate first, shortly followed by the swordgoblins. They scattered to chase down a pair of puppies that had been wandering the outside. I ordered the lever pulled, shutting the bowman and his spear squad outside for the time being. The fewer meat shields that bowman had when we took him on, the better.



The swordgoblins began to fall, as Endok and the Seas of Silver peppered them with bolts. Their leader, the spearmaster, walked right up to the walls of Soaplanterns, unafraid, as bolts thudded into the ground all around him.



"Dwarves!" he shouted. "Give us Atu!"

"Go home and cry to your mom!" marksdwarf-Muthkat retorted. He fired. The goblin stepped carelessly away from the bolt. Now he was too close under the walls to be hit.

"Give us Atu!" the goblin called again.

"I'd really like to hit that guy," marksdwarf-Muthkat said through clenched teeth. He reached back for his quiver. "Damn it, I'm out."

"Anyone who needs bolts, go get some," Endok said. "And then get back up here for round two."







The spearmaster seemed to have a charmed life; none of the marksdwarves could hit him. He walked through the hail of bolts as if they weren't there, spinning his spear with a flourish to bat bolts away. Then marksdwarf-Muthkat aimed more carefully. The spearmaster dodged, graceful as a bending willow--and fell headfirst into the murky pool.



A roar of laughter went up from the walls as the spearmaster struggled back out again, coughing and dripping wet. He was unharmed, but winded, and covered in mud and filth; that pool had all sorts of assorted yuck in it by now. He limped away from the walls and took cover behind Bessie's pillbox.



"Shame you cut those ramps, Zephyr," Dr Kosotham said.

"You wouldn't be saying that if it was one of ours that had fallen in."

"True."

There were hardly any hostiles out there now except for the ogres, who were out of range. "All right, stop firing," I called to the marksdwarves. "You're just wasting bolts now. We need a new plan."

"Open the gates and let us at them," said Nevyn.

"Are you sure? That spearmaster looks like serious business--and that group of ogres hasn't even been touched yet. They're going to come straight at you the moment that gate opens."

"Damn right I'm sure. What have we been training for all this time if we're never going to fight?"

He had a point. "All right," I said. "Go for it. But--please be careful."

The Crystalline Oceans gathered in the gatehouse. They were excited; at long last they would be seeing some real action! I wished I could make them understand how dangerous this was.

The sandstone bridge creaked down, and the Crystalline Oceans stepped out onto the battlefield. A crippled goblin lay moaning nearby; 'somebody' walked over and idly chopped his head off with her bismuth bronze battle axe. Then the ogres were charging, the ground trembling beneath their massive feet.

"No!" I yelled. "Don't go toward the river!" But it was too late. The dwarves and ogres met on the very edge of the river, where a sheer bank dropped two urists into deep water. In moments, speardwarf Logem had been charged and thrown off bodily by a hulking ogress. Katana cursed and hacked at the monster, shattering her skull; she fell with a thunderous crash, dead before she hit the ground.



The spearmaster was coming to the aid of the ogre squad. He targeted Oddom first, taking out her left arm and then her right foot with two perfectly aimed spear strikes. She fell, gasping in pain, too shocked to scream.



He raised his spear for the finishing blow.



"I don't think so," Endok grunted.

All the fight went out of him after that. Zon and 'somebody' finished him off. Aside from a couple of terrified and badly wounded goblins who had backed off behind Bessie, the first wave had been totally wiped out...



...although not without a sad cost.

And the bowman was still out there.

[jaxy15]

Wow, poor Dwarves.

[rridgway]

Woo! So much blood for my dwarf to revel in spilling, while performing surgery on those injured! Muahahahahahahaha! Not that my dwarf is evil, by the way.

[ImBocaire]

Just want to say, your writeups are hilarious and awesome. I literally did a spit-take when the spearmaster fell into the murky pool.

[peregarrett]

Maybe we should arrange some real training? I mean, training weapons to our guys, goblin stripped of his gear and dropped to barrack... Those fight masters kind of annoy me.

[zephyr_hound]

The phyllite gate opened. The goblins stood outside, watching, glancing up at the walls. They huddled together, gathering around their captains. We were too far away to hear what was said, but the argument appeared to be a fierce one.

A day passed.

"They're leaving," Lafiel said as she came into my office, looking disappointed.

"Really? Damn!" There went Peregarrett's iron again. At least we had the swordgoblins' equipment, I supposed. And the siege had broken soon enough that the dwarven caravan would be safe. We could--hopefully--expect a delivery this year.

And we had time to try to figure out how to recover our dead.



Of course I had had a slab made and engraved for Logem, but that seemed a sorry reward for a dwarf who had done so much to keep Soaplanterns safe. I wanted her body to rest in honor in the mausoleum, with Ushrir and the rest of our fallen.

...Besides, she'd been carrying the fort's only steel spear.





"Looks like we win again, Atu," I said. "Your ogres killed a good dwarf, though, and crippled another. I hear Oddom will never use that foot or hand again. We'll have to retire her from duty."

The goblin looked at me wearily, but said nothing in response.

"Is it worth it? Really?" I waited for a few more moments, then turned.

"Dwarf," Atu said in a low hoarse voice, as I reached out for the door handle. I stopped. "Don't dig any deeper. You hear me? There is nothing here for you."

"I'm not afraid of your nebulous threats," I said. "You're the one who should be afraid. We could kill you at any time."

"You are closer to death than I," the goblin said.



"I've got an idea," Medtob said, "but I'll need an enormous corkscrew. Oh--and a windmill."

"...You know what, I'm not even going to ask. Just talk to the carpenters and get whatever you need."



"Mr Madushkubuk?" Taup Caudata said. "I want to make some modifications to Bessie. Can I have a--"

"Yes. Do it."

"You don't even know what I'm--"

"No, and I wouldn't understand if you explained it to me. Listen. You're in charge of siege operations from now on, all right? Anything that involves Bessie is your remit, you do what you think best."

"Well, all right then!" he said with rising enthusiasm.







"Whoops," said Rovod the miner.



He looked curiously at his surroundings.



"Well, that's a bit of a pain. Gee, and I'm really thirsty too..."



"Mr Madushkubuk?" billybobfred said.

"Argh, what? If it's not goblin related I don't care. I am trying to make soap."

"Well, uh, there's a teeny bit of a flood."

"What? How big of a flood?"

"Not a big flood!" she said hastily. "Just a teeny little flood. But, er... we've sort of lost the catapult training range. And, er, Rovod."

I put the lye bucket down carefully.

"MEDTOB!!"



We stood on the riverbank and surveyed the damage.

"Wait," Medtob said. "Don't panic. This can totally still work. We just need more corkscrews, and a way to drain that tunnel... Wait, the aquifer's right beneath! Get down there and hack a hole in the floor, quick."

"You what?"

"Just do it, Soapmaster. You've got a pick on you, and you're closest. Run, before the tunnel fills completely. That'll give us a drain to work with."

I did as I was told.



Seven more dwarves joined us on the ninth of Sandstone, bringing Soaplanterns' population to 201 dwarves. That was the most that the mountainhome was allowed to send us, as far as I knew. As of now, we were officially full up.



"So what am I looking at here, aside from a violation of physics?"

"It's simple," Medtob said. "The windmills power the pumps. The pumps pump the river back on itself. And that lets us get down onto the riverbed to collect the body."





"Well, that's fantastic, Medtob, well done. I can't help noticing, however, that it's not entirely working."

"Yeah, I'm, uh, sorry about that... Could you possibly go down into the passage and knock a few more holes in the floor to help it drain?"



10th Timber

It was a travesty of dwarves being swept off their feet, dwarves falling into muddy holes, dwarves getting halfway down the flooded tunnel before losing their nerve and struggling back out again spitting water.



"I've--I've got--the spear--!" spluttered Tosid, half wading and half swimming toward the staircase.

"Well, that's the important part," I said.



The body of Logem, now badly decayed from its long stay in river water, finally emerged from a cloud of mist, hauled by Bembul the architect. He handed the sad remains up the stairs then scrambled up onto dry ground, coughing.

"Let's never do that again..."



Eventually, a group of brave masons managed to get a stone wall up to block the flow. The windmills were taken down again. Aside from the thick mud and a stench of dead fish, Taup Caudata's catapult range had been saved. It would dry out sooner or later.



And Logem Splashshields the Sooty Whips could rest peacefully in the mausoleum.

[jaxy15]

Silly Rovod.

[Ahra]

yay spear