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[vhappylurker]

What is the most useless, counterproductive, piece of crap item that can be made/aquired?

Magma.

BLASPHEMY! KILL IT WITH !!FIRE!!!

Seriously, though, I've found magma to be very useful in-game for the simple reason that it's easier to do most jobs that require a fuel source. I've got a bad tendency to run out of refined coal even with a modded in sawmill to make more logs just because of the amount of fuel you have to use to set up a decent enough metal industry to equip soldiers. It also makes creating glass and/or pottery much easier.

The only reason magma's a pain is when you try moving it around. Then fps death and !!FUN!! happens...

[Truean]

Elves actually do have one purpose and that's getting me giant eagles. I'm not gonna try catching those freaking things. Also elves are good for dying....

Moss does nothing in game.  Also vomit tiles do nothing in game.

[Cespinarve]

What is the most useless, counterproductive, piece of crap item that can be made/aquired?

Magma.

BLASPHEMY! KILL IT WITH !!FIRE!!!

Seriously, though, I've found magma to be very useful in-game for the simple reason that it's easier to do most jobs that require a fuel source. I've got a bad tendency to run out of refined coal even with a modded in sawmill to make more logs just because of the amount of fuel you have to use to set up a decent enough metal industry to equip soldiers. It also makes creating glass and/or pottery much easier.

The only reason magma's a pain is when you try moving it around. Then fps death and !!FUN!! happens...

Oh, it's fine when it just sits there and you use it for fuel- but from a game standpoint it is entirely passive. Once you try to use it as an item, I regard it as more trouble than it is worth- in all the LPs and Community forts I've read, while it might be funny, not once has magma ever seemed to solve any problem in a timely or useful way. It's like killing merchants- if you don't want what they're selling, IGNORE THEM AND THEY'LL LEAVE. Why do they feel the need to antagonize them...

[vhappylurker]

Oh, it's fine when it just sits there and you use it for fuel- but from a game standpoint it is entirely passive. Once you try to use it as an item, I regard it as more trouble than it is worth- in all the LPs and Community forts I've read, while it might be funny, not once has magma ever seemed to solve any problem in a timely or useful way. It's like killing merchants- if you don't want what they're selling, IGNORE THEM AND THEY'LL LEAVE. Why do they feel the need to antagonize them...

For shits and giggles. It really depends on playstyle whether you use magma as a weapon or slaughter annoying merchants.

Speaking of merchants, here's another worthless item: Vendor trash. As in wooden or stone crafts brought in by caravans. You can't do anything else with them but use them to buy more junk off of merchants. You can't even really offer that stuff as a "Gee, thanks for the breeding pair of grizzlies Mr. Pointy Ears" present since anything you buy from one group of merchants is auto disqualified from being an (o)ffering. At least metal crap can be melted, cloth/leather turned into bags, and you might get some free barrels if you buy tons of food (like I usually do...).

[Jelle]

Moss does nothing? It let's your animals graze on it is what it does.
I can also imagine a cavern overgrown with moss and fungi as undergrowth looks funky.

[celem]

Theres very few real worthless items.  Everything has a use somewhere, one elf's trash is another dwarf's treasure n all that.  Seriously though I hoard everything I can get my paws on and then stick cloth/leather images or studs on everything before it finally goes to the caravan

The only items I consider properly useless are small toys/crafts or weapons/armor brought in by a caravan when its already reasonable quality or highly decorated...there goes my profit margin

[Truean]

Moss does nothing? It let's your animals graze on it is what it does.
I can also imagine a cavern overgrown with moss and fungi as undergrowth looks funky.

Not that kind of moss. That's "Cave Moss." I'm talking about the coating of stuff that shows up after a long time on things in a reclaim fort. It's purely for flavor.

[Jelle]

Oh I didn't even know stuff like that existed.

[tolkafox]

Lungfish, they attempt to siege your fortress only to suffocate. Not only are they useless, but they're stupid as well.

[Truean]

Lungfish, they attempt to siege your fortress only to suffocate. Not only are they useless, but they're stupid as well.

Sometimes you can buy those at embark and eat em.... so...

[Blade Master Model 42]

I think it's interesting that for any item people bring up, others can find some kind of refutation for it.

[GreatWyrmGold]

Artifact cotton candy ring, mencacing with spikes of cotton candy, studded with cotton caandy, etc. It only wastes cotton candy and raises fort value.
It narrowly edges out an arifact cotton candy warhammer.

Lungfish, they attempt to siege your fortress only to suffocate. Not only are they useless, but they're stupid as well.

Actually, the only lungfish deaths I've seen have been cat-related.

[Truean]

Lung fish manage to creep me out while proving evolution.

[Maklak]

Artifact cotton candy ring, mencacing with spikes of cotton candy, studded with cotton caandy, etc. It only wastes cotton candy and raises fort value.
It narrowly edges out an arifact cotton candy warhammer.

In my lastest fort some possesed idiot made funobtanium flask decorated with funobtanium. If I wanted to waste it on flasks, I could have easilly gotten 6. Fortunately my map has like 2k of it, and I already processed over 200, so not such a big deal, but still.

[lordcooper]

Legendary Cheesemakers.

/thread