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[thatkid]

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Urist thoughtfully stroked his beard as he looked over the trader's wears. "Alright, laddeh...wot d'yeh wont fer these 'ere barrels full o' wine?" he queried, his eyes filled with a ravenous hunger as he studied the contents, watching a few flakes of early-spring snow drift down into the opening. Behind the barrel, shivering and desperately struggling to conceal himself, Eril the Elf Merchant stammered "O-Our clothes back, s-s-sir D-dwarf!"
Urist grunted and continued to slowly stroke his beard for some time. When he had finally replied, the steadily falling snow had nearly reached the top of his boots. "Alrigh', lad. Boot it'll cost yeh. What've yeh go' in those barrels o'er there?"

"W-w-wine.  S-sir."

"Hmmm", Urist fluffed his massive beard out in full display, " and what have yeh for letting you leave alive?"

The Elf blinked.  He tried hard to stare down the Dwarf, he even managed an indignant "You wouldn't dare!"  Flushed with outrage he almost felt warm again.  Then his guards began to whimper, the youngest outright started to cry.  He deflated, "Everything you see before you," he sighed.

As the Elves trudged away, empty handed, empty of pride, flinching in shame when the Dwarven Broker shouted at them "And next year bring more pigtail clothe!"  They almost missed the change in the Dwarf's laughter as it turned cruel and hard edged, as they crossed the threshold to the Dwarf Home, where the flagstones were stained a deep dark brown.

They did not miss hearing the clang of the portcullis dropping in front and behind.  The youngest gaurd let out an inarticulate scream for he had heard tales, told to Elf children to frighten them, he hadn't believed, but he did remember.  Not that it did him any good now...

+1

[iyaerP]

Urist thoughtfully stroked his beard as he looked over the trader's wears. "Alright, laddeh...wot d'yeh wont fer these 'ere barrels full o' wine?" he queried, his eyes filled with a ravenous hunger as he studied the contents, watching a few flakes of early-spring snow drift down into the opening. Behind the barrel, shivering and desperately struggling to conceal himself, Eril the Elf Merchant stammered "O-Our clothes back, s-s-sir D-dwarf!"
Urist grunted and continued to slowly stroke his beard for some time. When he had finally replied, the steadily falling snow had nearly reached the top of his boots. "Alrigh', lad. Boot it'll cost yeh. What've yeh go' in those barrels o'er there?"

"W-w-wine.  S-sir."

"Hmmm", Urist fluffed his massive beard out in full display, " and what have yeh for letting you leave alive?"

The Elf blinked.  He tried hard to stare down the Dwarf, he even managed an indignant "You wouldn't dare!"  Flushed with outrage he almost felt warm again.  Then his guards began to whimper, the youngest outright started to cry.  He deflated, "Everything you see before you," he sighed.

As the Elves trudged away, empty handed, empty of pride, flinching in shame when the Dwarven Broker shouted at them "And next year bring more pigtail clothe!"  They almost missed the change in the Dwarf's laughter as it turned cruel and hard edged, as they crossed the threshold to the Dwarf Home, where the flagstones were stained a deep dark brown.

They did not miss hearing the clang of the portcullis dropping in front and behind.  The youngest gaurd let out an inarticulate scream for he had heard tales, told to Elf children to frighten them, he hadn't believed, but he did remember.  Not that it did him any good now...

VICTORY!

[612DwarfAvenue]

Define "useless crap".

[Necro910]

Define "useless crap".

http://df.magmawiki.com/index.php/Useless_crap

Does that answer your question?

[612DwarfAvenue]

What's wrong with Large Gems?

[iyaerP]

What's wrong with Large Gems?

They don't DO anything.

They just clutter up your stockpile till they get traded away. The only use most trade goods have is to slowly remove loose stones from your fort in a manner that brings in usefull things (Large steel serrated disks for example).

[Chocolatemilkgod]

What's wrong with Large Gems?

They don't DO anything.

They just clutter up your stockpile till they get traded away. The only use most trade goods have is to slowly remove loose stones from your fort in a manner that brings in usefull things (Large steel serrated disks for example).

In fact the Large gems made from gemstone (ie not glass) don't get stockpiled correctly, IIRC. So they're even more of a hassle.

[Kaos]

What's wrong with Large Gems?

They don't DO anything.

They just clutter up your stockpile till they get traded away. The only use most trade goods have is to slowly remove loose stones from your fort in a manner that brings in usefull things (Large steel serrated disks for example).

In fact the Large gems made from gemstone (ie not glass) don't get stockpiled correctly, IIRC. So they're even more of a hassle.

Yep, but this is new between 31.25 and 31.21, my fort in .21 had large gems and they were neatly stored in bins in their stockpile, when I upgraded to 31.25 and moved my large gems stockpile they won't get moved... 
In the plus side they finally placed wooden blocks in the stockpile menu, so you can stockpile these in bins now....

[Dorf3000]

Regarding the OP (and not the naked elves/large gem stockpiles sidetracking...) I believe it was shown some time ago that the size of the caravan depends on how old the fort is, i.e. in the first year they bring a smaller quantity of goods, which increases each year up to a maximum.  If you short-change them then they'll bring lower-value stuff, up until they get so mad that they send soldiers instead of a caravan.  IIRC this was a cheap trick to get the elves to bring more caged animals and less g-d damned bins of cloth, which are expensive for their weight.

Personally I've never been so desperate for clothes that I've stripped the merchants, but I've occasionally borrowed a steel spear or helm from the guards in the first couple of seasons.  They make so much profit from me later on that I consider it a loan

[Endiqua]

Personally I've never been so desperate for clothes that I've stripped the merchants, but I've occasionally borrowed a steel spear or helm from the guards in the first couple of seasons.  They make so much profit from me later on that I consider it a loan

Same here, generally speaking.  I did have one trade session with an inexperienced broker where I felt like we got screwed over, but I needed the booze and the food, so I grabbed some armor and weapons in retaliation.  I just thought of it like a dorf sneaking around the corner and grabbing the stuff while the guard's taking a break inside the depot.  After all, who wouldn't set down a heavy spear and take off a helm when possible?   

[Kaos]

Personally I've never been so desperate for clothes that I've stripped the merchants, but I've occasionally borrowed a steel spear or helm from the guards in the first couple of seasons.  They make so much profit from me later on that I consider it a loan

Same here, generally speaking.  I did have one trade session with an inexperienced broker where I felt like we got screwed over, but I needed the booze and the food, so I grabbed some armor and weapons in retaliation.  I just thought of it like a dorf sneaking around the corner and grabbing the stuff while the guard's taking a break inside the depot.  After all, who wouldn't set down a heavy spear and take off a helm when possible?   

maybe even a "pig tail loincloth" or "rope reed thong" when they're bent over picking something they dropped!!! 

[LonelyZues]

"W-w-wine.  S-sir."

"Hmmm", Urist fluffed his massive beard out in full display, " and what have yeh for letting you leave alive?"

The Elf blinked.  He tried hard to stare down the Dwarf, he even managed an indignant "You wouldn't dare!"  Flushed with outrage he almost felt warm again.  Then his guards began to whimper, the youngest outright started to cry.  He deflated, "Everything you see before you," he sighed.

As the Elves trudged away, empty handed, empty of pride, flinching in shame when the Dwarven Broker shouted at them "And next year bring more pigtail clothe!"  They almost missed the change in the Dwarf's laughter as it turned cruel and hard edged, as they crossed the threshold to the Dwarf Home, where the flagstones were stained a deep dark brown.

They did not miss hearing the clang of the portcullis dropping in front and behind.  The youngest gaurd let out an inarticulate scream for he had heard tales, told to Elf children to frighten them, he hadn't believed, but he did remember.  Not that it did him any good now...

Can someone explain to me the last part? Are we talking about the bridge there or what?

[gentgeen]

Some would consider a wall grate attached to a lever or pressure plate to be roughly similar to a portcullis.

[LonelyZues]

Ah... that explain a lot. Ouch, and must say, I feel sorry for the elves, they didn't get the premium package. No wooden bin was offered to them.

[Kaos]

Follow up, year 5 (or so), I got more merchants back this time 6 merchants, 6 guards, liason and a human diplomat, (and a nice goblin ambush and thieves, yay!!) my merchants only brought about 7k worth of woods, although I did place orders for heavy stuff, like metals and rocks, is there a max amount of animals per caravan??


I mean if I order heavy stuff they bring more burden animals, but does that occupy the space of other more valuable goods? or they would (if I haven't been ripping them off) just bring even more burden animals in other to bring the extra value plus the heavy stuff??


I'm ripping them off again, just this time I'm repaying them by letting them have a huge profit in trade, let's see what happens next year....


By the way has anyone tested if you can rip off invader's clothes?? I believe it can be done (if your dwarf survives).... maybe a heavy armoured hauler??


New military tactic!!! send heavy armoured (adamantine??) haulers to rip off invader's weapons and then beat their defenceless butts!!!    on second thought the haulers will probably get scared and cancel the dump job... !SCIENCE! required!!!