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[Elfeater]

No hard feelings? Cause if so I didn't mean any

[ggamer]

((NOTE: I seem to remember a certain case where the SWAT were too underarmed to take on a certain crime organization, but that might just be memory fading))

((FORMAT CHANGE IN EFFECT))

Fun Fact: Police weren't issued assault rifles in the year 1960. Please wait for several years and witness the Symbionese Liberation Army.

Wait, where's Officer Harry? And Dick? Get those guys first and then get your wallet.

The wild historical innacuracies of this stiuation disturb you. That, and the fact that fucking Sheriff Jack was able to get assault rifles because of the trumped up drug bust he spearheaded.

Bullshit.

You suppoce you should find out where all of the other officers are.

Sheriff Jack Torvold is off dicking around on patrol.
Or he's at the bar, either one.

Lieutenant John "Phantom" Ginrat is acting as a guard for the opening of the new museum down town.

Sergeant Lenny "Elfeater" Henlerr is out on patrol, along with Sergeant Dupree "Hubris" Jones.
Fucking Hubris, being so damn well spoken...

Officer Frank "Dick" Sardel is downstairs being drunk...

Officer Walter Bognor is in the jail, along with officer Harry Beavers...

Officer Arnold Simpson has run away with his son Geoffrey

Officers Taliah, Mckinlee, Hixon, and Ramsey are all out on patrol.

( what about the assault rifles you should get those too.

Get ye assault rifles!

You grab your wallet, and head to the ARMORY, only to find...

That Walt locked it.

"WALT!"

"WHAT? Jesus, ronnie, I'm right the fuck next to you, what is it?"

"Why did you lock the ARMORY?"

"Why do you want to get in to the ARMORY?"

"I need some assault rifles man!"

"FOR WHAT? This is an isolated case, we don't know how widespread it is, what measure of force we'll need, and YOU ALREADY HAVE A FUCKING SHOTGUN"

Explore the Sheriff's Office.
If its locked, bust down the freaking door.

You were just in your DEPUTY SHERIFF'S OFFICE. Why would you go ba-

That damn helicopter is getting really annoying.

Code: (Inventory) [Select]

Mossberg 500 5/6
x12 12 gauge buckshot shells
M1911 Pistol 9/9
18 .45 Rounds
Rechargeable flashlight
Umbrella
Car keys
Wallet
 Twenty Dollars
 Badge


Spoiler: Map(s) (click to show/hide)

key:
Unexplored
Explored
Current Location


Currently in: GREENSBORO POLICE DEPARTMENT

Floor 1-
Waiting room
  Desk
  Bookshelf
  Fire alarm system
  Officer Dick
Clearance room
Break room
  Coffee
  Bulletin board
Stairway A
  Stairs

Floor 2-
Locker room
  Lockers
  Fire extinguisher
Jail
  Five jail cells
  Two prisoners
  Officer Bognor
  Officer Beavers
  Dead Drone
Armory
  G3 assault rifle x2
  345 9mm rounds
  Mossberg 500
  16 12 gauge Buckshot shells
  20 Sandbag shells
  2 Tear gas canisters
Sheriff's office
Deputy Sheriff's office
  Water
  Desk
  Bulletin Board
Closet
  Various office supplies
  Crowbar
Stairway A
  Stairs

[Strife26]

Sheriff Jack Torvold: Double Vodka, on the rocks.

[Phantom]

Lieutenant Phantom: Hit on that hot chick that works at the receptionist desk in the Museum.

Officer Humperdink: Investigate the damned helicopter already.

[Elfeater]

Elf eater: check what weapons we have

[ggamer]

Sheriff Jack Torvold: Double Vodka, on the rocks.

YOU ARE NOW SHERIFF JACK TORVOLD

Man, you are so awesome. You decided to come off patrol and get yourself a drink.

"What'll it be, hon?"

"Double vodka, on the rocks."

Some asshole bursts into the bar. God, that guy's a douche. He looks all stupid and red and winded. Stupid.

Elf eater: check what weapons we have

YOU ARE NOW SERGEANT LENNY HENLERR

You have a standard issue M1911.

Lieutenant Phantom: Hit on that hot chick that works at the receptionist desk in the Museum.

Officer Humperdink: Investigate the damned helicopter already.

YOU ARE NOW LIEUTENANT JOHN GINRAT

Fuck, this museum is boring. You've spent the last two hours looking at exhibits. On the bright side, there is one Hot-ass secretary over there. You walk ov-

YOU ARE NOW DEPUTY SHERIFF JOHN HUMPERDINKER

You walk OUTSIDE.

The Helicopter pauses in the air, the rotating blades cutting through a flying newspaper. It then turns around, and spots you.

Like a nice pe retard, you decide to wave.

They open fire.

Code: (Inventory) [Select]

Mossberg 500 5/6
x12 12 gauge buckshot shells
M1911 Pistol 9/9
18 .45 Rounds
Rechargeable flashlight
Umbrella
Car keys
Wallet
 Twenty Dollars
 Badge


Spoiler: Map(s) (click to show/hide)

key:
Unexplored
Explored
Current Location


Currently in: GREENSBORO POLICE DEPARTMENT

Floor 1-
Waiting room
  Desk
  Bookshelf
  Fire alarm system
  Officer Dick
Clearance room
Break room
  Coffee
  Bulletin board
Stairway A
  Stairs

Floor 2-
Locker room
  Lockers
  Fire extinguisher
Jail
  Five jail cells
  Two prisoners
  Officer Bognor
  Officer Beavers
  Dead Drone
Armory
  G3 assault rifle x2
  345 9mm rounds
  Mossberg 500
  16 12 gauge Buckshot shells
  20 Sandbag shells
  2 Tear gas canisters
Sheriff's office
Deputy Sheriff's office
  Water
  Desk
  Bulletin Board
Closet
  Various office supplies
  Crowbar
Stairway A
  Stairs

Outside
Apache helicopter
several buildings

[Phantom]

Sherrif Humperdinker: Take some damn cover!

Lieutenant John Ginrat: That reminds you, you maced this chick once.
...Also, weren't those retarded deputies supposed to help you?

[Elfeater]

Lenny: Check back of car for any other weapons like a standard issue shotgun those radio reports over the police signal have you scared
Humperdick: Get back in side call all units in for back up and fire back

[Kicior]

Humperdick: Get back in side call all units in for back up and fire back USING ASSAULT RIFLES

[ggamer]

Lieutenant John Ginrat: That reminds you, you maced this chick once.
...Also, weren't those retarded deputies supposed to help you?

YOU ARE NOW LIEUTENANT JOHN GINRAT

You could have sworn this girl was clean.

Oh well.

Wait, where's lenny? Isn't he supposed to be helping? Fucker's probably off fantasizing about weapons that don't exist.

Ronny calls you, and you talk to him for a while over the radio.

Some asshole comes in screaming about military and zombies and reanimated hands. He's probably on drugs.

Lenny: Check back of car for any other weapons like a standard issue shotgun those radio reports over the police signal have you scared

YOU ARE NOW SERGEANT LENNY HENLERR

You are too busy fantasizing about guns that don't exist to notice the tall, slender man walking towards you, nor the fact that The Dep. Sheriff is calling you over the radio.

Sherrif Humperdinker: Take some damn cover!

Humperdick: Get back in side call all units in for back up and fire back

YOU ARE NOW DEPUTY SHERIFF JOHN HUMPERDINKER

You run back to the PD, bullets nearly missing you. Once in, you make a call to all of the officers.

**Beeps Indicating Code blue emergency, RoE 14* This is Deputy sheriff Ronald calling all units, we have military and occult forces fucking up some places around the city, I have an apache helicopter outside shooting at us. Requesting backup immediately.*

*Ronny, this is Ginrat, Why the Hernia, over?*

*Fuck John, you haven't paid attention?*

*To what? I'm in a museum exhibit.*

*There are things walking around, and mi-*

*Hold on, Some retard's running in here screaming his head off.*


((MAP AND INVENTORY NOT AVAILABLE AT THIS TIME))

[Phantom]

Lieutenant John Ginrat and Sergeant Lenny: POLICE BRUTALITY, COMING UP.

[Strife26]

Torvold: take a deep breath and let all of the posturing fade. It's important that you appear competant to everyone in town, even if you don't feel that way yourself. A strong face is crucial for you to protect and serve as much as possible. You'll never be able to atone for your sins, but you'll try your best to keep this town safe . . .

Down drink.

[Kicior]

we have military (...) fucking up some places around the city

Why don't soldiers help us?

[Phantom]

we have military (...) fucking up some places around the city

Why don't soldiers help us?

Let me inform you of the story of the mod this is based on.

Following an extremely bad zombie outbreak, the military tries to control it, but fails horribly. In paranoia, they are ordered to shoot anyone on sight near a zombie incursion/outbreak.

[ggamer]

we have military (...) fucking up some places around the city

Why don't soldiers help us?

Let me inform you of the story of the mod this is based on.

Following an extremely bad zombie outbreak, the military tries to control it, but fails horribly. In paranoia, they are ordered to shoot anyone on sight near a zombie incursion/outbreak.

((ARCHITECT: Specifically Sherman scorched earth policy. And no matter how hard they fought, the others never stopped coming. Those Zombified military, the zombie bulls, and the zombie hands were the most annoying shit I've ever had to deal with, Bordering on Goddamn spiders.))

Lieutenant John Ginrat and Sergeant Lenny: POLICE BRUTALITY, COMING UP.

YOU ARE NOW SERGEANT LENNY HENLERR

Who's this douche? Thinking he can sneak up on you like that...

"Hey, who are you and what are you doing out here?"

"..."

"I said, what are you DOING, FUCKTARD?"

"..."

"Don't you fucking ellipses at me again."

"..."

"Fine. Go ahead. Ellipses again. I dare you. I DOUBLE DOG DARE YOU MOTHER FUCKER!"

"..."

"That's it, RESISTING AR-"

His hand grabs lenny's throat.

"I'm afraid not. Y'GTHYL N'YALYATH!"

This is strange, you feeeeeeeelkajgklghkfhgosfighrhiofhgiohsdghrkjhgihiog----

dkslsaigdhgihgiehiehig(synerr9837*NicetryPhantom.skalgjfighaiuhgiahjikrjgihriairhgkgkkgjgk)jdghgduurughFFailslgdjhshigorhiargihiehgdkshj

Rebooottotoototottttt...

OSKERNELPANICCCCCCC

YOU ARE NOW LIEUTENANT JOHN GINRAT

You stop the man and slap him in the face.

"Slow down, bucko, what the fuck is going on?"

"I-I was walking down the street with my girlfriend and... some... thing killed her! then the mlitary started showing up..."

"Now now, why would something like th-"

You Bend over in pain as your radio belts out squealing static.

Torvold: take a deep breath and let all of the posturing fade. It's important that you appear competant to everyone in town, even if you don't feel that way yourself. A strong face is crucial for you to protect and serve as much as possible. You'll never be able to atone for your sins, but you'll try your best to keep this town safe . . .

Down drink.

You take a long drink from the glass, savoring the vodka. You walk over to the man.

"What's the emergency?"

"Theycometheydon'twantnofleshnosirreetheywantmyfleshtheywantyourfleshtheyhungerforitalwaysthehungernevergoesaway..."

"What the fuck?"

Everyone in the bar screams as the deafening radio static emitted by your radio assaults their eardrums.


((MAPS AND INVENTORY UNAVAILABLE, UNRELIABLE CHARACTER CHANGE))