Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Nightwing]

Hello!  I've been playing dwarf fortress for a while now and feel like I'm finally used to it, but I just had super FUN fortress in which most of my starting dwarves lasted for less than an hour, and it made me wonder how many other people have had hilariously fast fortress deaths or early gruesome deaths.  If you want to share any particularly early or gruesome fortress deaths/near deaths, I'd like to hear about them 

As for me, long story short, I settled in a haunted area, a nightwing showed up (a gaunt, bat winged humanoid with sharp horns, claws, and a mane) , I sent all of 7 of my dwarves to kill it and....
They all got slaughtered except for 2.  One got wounded outside and sat in the rain, starving and dehydrating, and my militia commander lay down on the ground, all of his body parts wounded bright yellow or red.

What really got me was, the nightwing stole an Alpaca Wool Sock (yes, a SOCK) and started beating my militia commander with it but not killing him.  The beating lasted for the whole summer (literally, the whole season) as he lay there, bleeding and being bruised over and over again, his nervous tissue ripped apart by the sock of his friend    Another migrant wave arived in autumn and I sent them to fight it to see what would happen, but the nightwing proceeded to dipatch them all wielding only his sock. As I watch, the nightwing ineffectually bruises and beats the three living, unconscious dwarves who can't get up and must endure until they dehydrate or starve to death.

[LilSassy]

Oh my goodness, I've never heard of such a terrible death

[evileeyore]

Waaaay bacl in 40d one of my early forts....


I'd gotten tired of Evil and Savage biomes wrecking my Dwarfs up and making the early part of the game harder so I decided to embark in a Good Biome...  thiking you know, it's a "Good" biome...

Cue the laugh track.

5 minutes into the embark and a herd of Unicorns had rampaged and killed all but one Dwarf who was badly mauled and had fallen into the river... to be set upon by carp...

On the area reclaim I lost most of my Booze stocks to mountian Gnomes and had a very rough first winter...


I swore off Good Biomes for a long time after that.

[IT 000]

My wagon and all my dwarves spawned on a frozen murky pool in the middle of a desert. It thawed.

[Kepplerr]

My wagon spawned in the middle of a herd of badgers...

My dorfs were dead in less than an in game day...

[Hyndis]

One time I embarked on a beach in a terrifying biome.

Right next to the wagon was a skeletal whale.

[Farmerbob]

Back a long time ago I had a haunted evil biome embark, landed right in the middle of a bunch of skeletal camels.  The 4 war dogs were dead in seconds, the dwarves within 2 minutes, none of them were able to even pick up their picks or axes from the wagon, they were too scared to complete the pick up action.  The last survivors were the cats.  I think they lasted three or four minutes running around until skeletal eagles or some buzzards or something got them.

[mrtspence]

I had a skeleton camel assassin murder 5 dwarves in their sleep. The remainder got underground but succumbed to famine when the buzzards descended on the food stockpiles.

[Ganondwarf]

One time I embarked on a beach in a terrifying biome.

Right next to the wagon was a skeletal whale.

Say, how does a whale fight when it's, you know, in the water? I've never met one but I'd like to try it.

[varnish]

Wasn't there someone back in the day who embarked straight into a magma pit, or into the mouth of a volcano, or something similar? Barely had time to see their fortress before it crumbled to it's end, if I recall right.

I once had a fort done in by foul blendecs, in the first 30 seconds of play. It was the first time I'd ever even heard of foul blendecs. It was all "hey, what are those little critters, sheep of some kind? OH GOD THE BLOOD"

Good times...

[Humaan]

One time I embarked on a beach in a terrifying biome.

Right next to the wagon was a skeletal whale.

Say, how does a whale fight when it's, you know, in the water? I've never met one but I'd like to try it.

Skeletal and zombie things, in older editions, we not limited by land or sea. Skeletal stuff has a strange tendency to be uber-fast. I.E. giant whale crawling on land moving extremely fast.

[Necro910]

One time I embarked on a beach in a terrifying biome.

Right next to the wagon was a skeletal whale.

Say, how does a whale fight when it's, you know, in the water? I've never met one but I'd like to try it.

Skeletal and zombie things, in older editions, we not limited by land or sea. Skeletal stuff has a strange tendency to be uber-fast. I.E. giant whale crawling on land moving extremely fast.

They are just as strong as in life (!!MAGIC!!), but have all but bones removed. Bones are only 10% of your weight, so they are ZOMBIE NINJA FIGHTER FORCE FIVE!
 

[dieffenbachj]

My fastest fortress death:

Glacier/Volcano.

Embark.

Area beneath dwarves immediately thaws, due to proximity to volcano.

Area beneath dwarves immediately freezes, due to freezing atmosphere.

Fortress lifespan: about 100 frames.

[Necro910]

My fastest fortress death:

Glacier/Volcano.

Embark.

Area beneath dwarves immediately thaws, due to proximity to volcano.

Area beneath dwarves immediately freezes, due to freezing atmosphere.

Fortress lifespan: about 100 frames.

You would have had 4 FPS because of rapid freeze/thaw.

IT'S THE ULTIMATE WEAPON!

[Ganegrei]

Back in 40d, I embarked on a zone with a volcano.  Turns out the dwarves parked the wagon in midair over the caldera.  Everyone did a quick "oh shit" and fell about 15 z levels into magma.