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Author Topic: Deep, Dwarfy thoughts  (Read 11813 times)

Oliolli

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Re: Deep, Dwarfy thoughts
« Reply #60 on: May 18, 2011, 07:40:55 am »

Axe or Hammer? the eternal question of weaponised convinence.
Spears.
... I should stop getting into that debate.

Gentledwarfs. Pickaxes. Discuss.

The ultimate answer is MAGMA. All else is irrelevant before it's molten goodness.

Which becomes lava upon reaching the surface.

Next up: "What?!? Who dares question magma? PULL THE LEVER!"
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Quote from: Girlinhat
When all you've got is an adjustable spanner and an entire freight warehouse of terrifying cogs and gears, everything looks like "just a prototype".
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You all turned Swordthunders into a bastion of madness that seems to warp in on itself under its own hatred of sanity.  I'm so happy!
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drowning babies everywhere o-o

Naz

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Re: Deep, Dwarfy thoughts
« Reply #61 on: May 18, 2011, 08:10:24 am »

Urist: Hey Cilob, I just thought of something. You're a metalsmith right? Shouldnt your shop have like...tools in it? All I see is a forge and an anvil.

Cilob: *stares* tools? The carp are you talking about? *punches molten metal into the shape of an axe* Do you want this axe or not?

Urist: eh forget I said anything...I must be sober.
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Urist McDwarf cancels wear pants: Just because

Ieb

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Re: Deep, Dwarfy thoughts
« Reply #62 on: May 18, 2011, 08:19:31 am »

"Why is it that despite our mastery of steel, mechanisms and conquering many regions of the underground, we still make gauntlets that leave fingers exposed and boots with toes exposed?"

Philosophers tend to be mostly harmless, until they get struck with enough grief to start thinking too much about how dwarven mechanisms work by connecting two objects with two mechanisms and it works just as well whether they're close to or far from eachother.

Then they go insane.
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ledgekindred

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Re: Deep, Dwarfy thoughts
« Reply #63 on: May 18, 2011, 08:27:12 am »

Urist McPonderer: Hey Urist, do you ever wonder why
Urist McPractical: (interrupting) Nope.
Urist McPonderer: ...  Good point.  Let's go get a drink.
Urist McPractical: Aye.
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I don't understand, though that is about right with anything DF related.
I just hope he dies the same death that all dwarfs deserve: liver disease.
The legend of Reg: http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=65866.0
Atir Stigildegel, Legless Hero of Diamondrelic: http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=83136.0

Number4

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Re: Deep, Dwarfy thoughts
« Reply #64 on: May 18, 2011, 08:31:13 am »

"How is it possible that everyone is named Urist, yet no one is able to produce any daggers?"
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Thanks for the suggestion, but Number4 is correct: [...] it would be easier and more predictable to just be a racist.

Did somebody just rule 34 two veins of metal?

evileeyore

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Re: Deep, Dwarfy thoughts
« Reply #65 on: May 18, 2011, 10:57:19 am »

"How is it possible that everyone is named Urist, yet no one is able to produce any daggers?"
Oh the irony.
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FrisianDude

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Re: Deep, Dwarfy thoughts
« Reply #66 on: May 18, 2011, 11:31:33 am »

Truth dwells within the apparent paradox.
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A tiny, foul-tempered humanoid creature that dwells in the evil mountains. They are known to enjoy drinking liquor and will take any unguarded supplies of booze.

Naz

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Re: Deep, Dwarfy thoughts
« Reply #67 on: May 18, 2011, 01:58:51 pm »

Urist McPonderer: Hey Urist, do you ever wonder why
Urist McPractical: (interrupting) Nope.
Urist McPonderer: ...  Good point.  Let's go get a drink.
Urist McPractical: Aye.

Lol...this reads exactly like a typical conversation between me and a buddy of mine
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Urist McDwarf cancels wear pants: Just because

Fniff

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Re: Deep, Dwarfy thoughts
« Reply #68 on: May 18, 2011, 02:23:18 pm »

Meanwhile, two humans ponder life in a house at the Human Hamlet of LoveFailure...

Human 1: Hey, why did we name this hamlet LoveFailure?
Human 2: Er... This site is known for failing at love?
Human 1: Not great for tourism. We lost enough money fighting of the endless hordes of night creatures.
Human 2: Where did they come from? It was like they were there one second. Same with the boogeymen. One day you can wander for years without danger apart from the occasional wolf attack. Now, boogeymen rip you apart once you step out the door at night!
Human 1: Hey, why did we start living in these dirt huts? I remember living in an apartment complex, for crying out loud!
Human 2: I miss my stuff.
Human 1: Still, we don't have to go outside anymore!
Human 2: That's a bonus!
*High five.*

Eric Blank

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Re: Deep, Dwarfy thoughts
« Reply #69 on: May 18, 2011, 05:22:34 pm »

"How is it possible that everyone is named Urist, yet no one is able to produce any daggers?"

"I'll give ya my share of booze for today to go tell Urist she dont know how to make them daggers."


Meanwhile, over in Urist's mind:
"How exactly DO I keep getting pregnant if I haven't slept with my husband since we married? Has he noticed? :o"
« Last Edit: May 18, 2011, 05:29:56 pm by Eric Blank »
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

Necro910

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Re: Deep, Dwarfy thoughts
« Reply #70 on: May 18, 2011, 05:33:34 pm »

Meanwhile, over in Urist's mind:
"How exactly DO I keep getting pregnant if I haven't slept with my husband since we married? Has he noticed? :o"
Your beard is obviously not long enough, if you can tell you're pregnant.

Sarda

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Re: Deep, Dwarfy thoughts
« Reply #71 on: May 18, 2011, 05:39:19 pm »

Meanwhile, over in Urist's mind:
"How exactly DO I keep getting pregnant if I haven't slept with my husband since we married? Has he noticed? :o"
Your beard is obviously not long thick enough, if you can tell you're pregnant.
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You'll have to provide warm, moist kittens at the end of each test chamber.
Dwarf Fortress:
Where 9% of your town is casualties, is good.

Eric Blank

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Re: Deep, Dwarfy thoughts
« Reply #72 on: May 18, 2011, 05:41:47 pm »

Meanwhile, over in Urist's mind:
"How exactly DO I keep getting pregnant if I haven't slept with my husband since we married? Has he noticed? :o"
Your beard is obviously not long enough, if you can tell you're pregnant.

Well after pregnancy you have to put up with the product, so that's one way to determine that you were pregnant.
Although dwarven women don't seem to notice that A) they're in labor or B) the child exists after those first few moments.
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

Necro910

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Re: Deep, Dwarfy thoughts
« Reply #73 on: May 18, 2011, 06:58:26 pm »

Meanwhile, over in Urist's mind:
"How exactly DO I keep getting pregnant if I haven't slept with my husband since we married? Has he noticed? :o"
Your beard is obviously not long enough, if you can tell you're pregnant.

Well after pregnancy you have to put up with the product, so that's one way to determine that you were pregnant.
Although dwarven women don't seem to notice that A) they're in labor or B) the child exists after those first few moments.
Beard. The beard does all the work.

Number4

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Re: Deep, Dwarfy thoughts
« Reply #74 on: May 19, 2011, 01:43:55 am »

It's now the beard, it's the booze!

"Hey! My booze is vanishing out of my barrel! Oh...forget it, I've got another child and the little bastard is drinking my booze..."
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Thanks for the suggestion, but Number4 is correct: [...] it would be easier and more predictable to just be a racist.

Did somebody just rule 34 two veins of metal?
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