Note: I have a tendency to be wordy and embellish a lot. I apologize to all the lazy dwarves out there. Also, I have a bit of a lack of pictures. Not much worth taking pictures of, interestingly, but what there was I generally forgot. Sorry
From the Overlord Records of Deathgate
Section The Second: The Rule of Scaliper
I have decided to create an extremely heavy and prohibitively large book of stone tablets to carry around chronicling the various overlordships of Deathgate, so that the efforts of all the fine(and not so fine) overlords are never forgotten, particularly one particularly handsome dwarf full of charisma and awesomeness. For Brevity's sake, I have managed to condense the former rules into one chapter. Poor girl can't stand lengthy documents. Also, records of said rules can be found elsewhere, so a full rerendering is redundant.
ANYWAY, I shall be updating these records spur-of-the-moment, hopefully to the extent that they will read like a stream-of-consciousness, except actually intelligible.
I suppose I should begin with the record of how I became Supreme Overlord. A few days after I arrived from the mountainhomes, some nutty prophet who had declared himself overlord went even more stark-raving-mad and threw himself onto a spear in the Temple to Armok. This, of course, gave me an idea. I promptly picked up a dog and threw it onto a spear. That's what you get for leaving a pile of mandates right outside my door! Anyway, soon after, I got another idea. I decided to take a page from this prophet's book and declare myself Supreme Overlord of Deathgate.I was kind of surprized; I didn't even have to fight anybody for it! I swear, the entire population of this fort is completely lacking in ambition.
That out of the way, I decided that, if I was going to rule this place, I should probably get acquainted with it's layout. That took far longer than it should have. Took me five hours just to find the bathroom, and this after upending *three* kegs of ale. That was distinctly unpleasant. Seriously, this place looks like it was designed by several madmen, all of whom hated eachother's particular style of chaosization. I pointed this out to a passerby, and he told me that that analysis was "pretty accurate." I think I'm beginning to understand why there were no rivals to the overlordship...
Anywhom, upon sort of figuring out my way around, I decided to get going on my project. I had planned on making the sole entrance to the fort into an enormous magma-cannon shaped like a skull, but there's a massive siege of goblins outside, and I don't particularly feel like testing my luck against them. That being the case, I figured I'd go for an official place in the annals of dwarven history. See, I was briefed just before departure on the mission to colonize Hell. I figured I'd really stick it to the demons and create a farm in the pits of death. I'm sure the beautiful smell of sweetpod must make them retch! However, I was recently informed that a forgotten beast has somehow managed to wander into Hell. We have the only entrance I'm aware of, so I'm wondering exactly what's going on here.
So, having found the perfect spot for such a farm, I decided I'd mobilize the military. Dear god was that a mess. A whole bunch of dwarves haphazardly assigned to squadrons with very few semblances of organization that I could detect. There was one listed squad that didn't even have anyone in it. Some of them didn't even have any equipment, most have no training, and I'm pretty sure a number of them weren't told to be sleeping and training in the Barracks. To top it all off, most of them were working on non-military things in their "spare time," and by "spare time," I mean "whole day." So I decided to replan my goals
again, and made getting the military up and running my first priority. With very few exceptions, I made sure that all military dwarves had tags attached to them that listed them as soldiers, followed by their associated weapon. Of course, there was one moron who insisted on being called a "Templar," whatever the seven hells that means, but I let it slide. I then sorted them into squads by weapon, and set them all to do absolutely everything in the barracks, where I was sure to make a food stockpile. I also took inventory of our weaponry, and created enough high-grade weaponry to equip all of them. The only exception was the macedwarves, as I placed armor at higher priority than silver maces. They are currently using copper. I also ordered enough armor to be made for the entire force. I figured that, since we have at present 85 adamantine wafers and a bit over 100 ore, we could spare a bit on making sure our warriors survive fights, so I made 21 each of breastplates, mail coats, helms, and greaves. If it turns out we have enough for a bit more, I'll be adding in 42 more mail coats and possibly some caps.
Out of character aside for future reference: If Hell has already been breached, does breaching Hell from another spire spawn another swarm of demons?Unfortunately, I haven't been keeping track of exact dates as of yet, so what has happened up to now(being the time I decided to start compiling annals of my rule, 20th of Felsite, 766) is chronological, but not dated. I shall give a brief overview:
Firstly, a metalsmith claimed a magma forge, slowing down the production of my armor. Poncy little git used a wafer of adamantine to create a COMPLETELY UNADORNED BRACELET!!! I am strongly considering creating a danger room full of large wooden spikes and letting him do a dance until he dies. For the time being, though, he's a great go-to guy for creating trinkets. For my future reference if I'm ever in a particularly sadistic mood, or for future rulers who need a sacrifice to Armok, his name is Athel Dorenang. In the interim, two baby girls were born.
Perhaps the most frustrating point was when
another forgotten beast wandered into Hell, this one a freaking
snail with
wings! Dear Armok, why do you not want my farm to get up and running?! Miltary is training full time, of course, but it'll still be a while before they're ready for such a beast, especially with it's poisonous bite. Perhaps I should just release a couple goblins down there, see how they do. At the very least, they should at least provide me with a bit of a distraction...
As a temporary substitute for a full-scale farm, I have decided to make two ornate rows of sweet-pod plants centered around the entrance to Hell. Those were completed in due course, and I shall be engraving a sketch in this book the next time I visit the area. I am officially the first dwarf in recorded history to set up a farm in Hell!
Just yesterday, my armor orders were all completed. I have yet to assign gear to all of the squads, but it will be done very soon. As well, a baby boy was born.