Year 764, Fourth of Granite,
Private Record of the Prophet, Herald of Armok
I have arrived at the fortress known to outsiders as Deathgate, the one that we have named the Crucible. I, the Herald of Armok, have been tasked by the High Father to conduct a sacred ritual for our Lord here. This land has seen untold bloodshed, as it is here that our heathen brothers pierced the burning hells and unknowingly gave offerings to Armok. The tribunal has taken the reconquest of hell as a sign that the times are changing and that our Lord will return to this realm. But before his return can be assured, the crucible must be prepared for him. A ritual is required. To this end, I have incapacitated the current overseer, one dwarf named Narquille, and taken the fortress for my Lord.
I expected resistance to my sudden coup, however I am surprised when the residents accept me as their new leader without any complaints. Apparently, in Deathgate, each overseer only lasts around a year before being deposed, stepping down, or going batshit insane and the previous overseer had overstayed his welcome after half a year. None the matter, this only makes my job easier.
After a few hours of exploring the fortress, I determined my first course of action.
KILL ALL THESE GOD DAMN ANIMALS!
Armok damn it! There's a ton of animals here. Almost 500 of them! They've not even in cages! There roaming the halls, sleeping in the dining room, shitting in the kitchen, eating old socks, disgusting! Armok hates these damned creatures and so do I but apparently these cocksuckers have some kinda hippy commune going on in here if all these animals are any indication. My first act as overseer is to order every last animal in Deathgate put to death. If any of these hippy bastards have an issue with it, I'll shave their beards off and weave them into toilet paper for my hairy, dwarven ass!
There shall be Blood for the Blood God!
(Right so, 28 pages of animals. I'm going to kill them all. Any suggestions on the dwarfiest way possible? Atom Smasher? Lava Bath? Pitting them into hell? Forcing them into a tiny room to do battle with one another?)