I just had my worst game ever. I was Nasus, along with Akali, Alistar, Annie, and Malzahar, vs Master Yi, Veigar, Gangplank, Fiddlesticks, and Malphite.
Akali AFKed half the match, when she finally got back she was level 1 when the competent members of the team were pushing 15-16. It's a good thing she got there too because she did exactly jack shit, wandering the map and autoattacking creeps.
Since Akali was off wanking or something, I was solo top against Malph and Gangplank. They did a pretty good job of shutting me out, and things were looking rough for a while. Once I got to level 4 or so I started turning the tables, got a lucky kill on Malphite, and he went bottom. Gangplank then learned what it was like to be an ex-cop in federal prison.
Blah blah blah midgame, we took Baron and then tried to push. By tried to push I mean me and Malzahar tried to push while Alistar's priorities appeared to be: talking a lot>creeps>champs>towers. Several failed assaults on the enemy base later (Mainly due to numbers, Akali was here by now but may as well not have been, which put us at four. Alistar was enthusiastic but not an asset in the fights, and that left us 3v5 and without a sufficient level/gear advantage to make it work) we found ourselves staring defeat in the face, despite totally almost winning. In retrospect we shouldn't have taken Baron. We were totally pushing mid and then once Baron was down everybody bluepilled and apparently forgot there were towers to kill. Waste of time.
Alistar was strange. Enthusiastic but dumb I guess would be the right thing to call him. To give you a glimpse into his mindset, he thought sacrificing himself for Annie to get a kill on Yi and then die to Veigar was "Totally worth it." When the rest of the team (Minus Akali, of course) was pushing mid he was in top lane autoattacking a creep wave. I asked him what the fuck he was doing and he said something along the lines of "Yi is trying to take the inhibitor. He'll never kill me." Meanwhile Yi is across the map killing Akali.
Why was this my worst game ever? It was an hour and fifteen fucking minutes long. An hour and fifteen minutes of seeing the enemy Nexus just a single push away but never having the manpower to do it when the time was right.
If it had been a normal length it wouldn't have been a problem. Despite starting late and apparently trying to play with the wrong side of the keyboard, Akali was level 18 when it ended. I am so tired after that shit. I need to go to bed.