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Author Topic: FOOT SOLDIERS - ONE AUTHOR'S QUEST TO BE THE WORST PERSON EVER  (Read 16432 times)

IronyOwl

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Re: FOOT SOLDIERS - I WISH I HAD A GUN JUST LIKE THE A-10
« Reply #210 on: June 07, 2011, 12:02:13 am »

Pokin' Squeegy.
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Quote from: Radio Controlled (Discord)
A hand, a hand, my kingdom for a hot hand!
The kitchenette mold free, you move on to the pantry. it's nasty in there. The bacon is grazing on the lettuce. The ham is having an illicit affair with the prime rib, The potatoes see all, know all. A rat in boxer shorts smoking a foul smelling cigar is banging on a cabinet shouting about rent money.

Squeegy

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Re: FOOT SOLDIERS - I WISH I HAD A GUN JUST LIKE THE A-10
« Reply #211 on: June 10, 2011, 11:45:29 pm »

You guys are supposed to poke me I gave you my contact info GEEZE!

Kevin opens the other door with some effort, Daniel watching over his shoulder. The room behind is a hallway running down rows of cages. Deadly beasts paw around inside, turning their heads at the noise. A dire tiger closest the door presses its nose to the bars and sniffs at Kevin.

Leon opens the door, gets on the floor, does the dinosaur revealing... that Squeegy should really keep DM notes a rusted steel ladder going upwards, disappearing into the darkness above.

Aso and Sirvius leap into battle against the rats!

ALLIED:
Aso Emiza
Sirvius Malavai
(i typed those names by memory, go me)

VS

ENEMIES:
5 Mana Rats

PLEASE PICK YOUR STRATEGIES
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Phantom

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Re: FOOT SOLDIERS - GUESS WHAT WE HACKED THE GIBSON
« Reply #212 on: June 10, 2011, 11:47:28 pm »

Er.
Daniel stabs at the Dire Tiger with his steel spear and get's ready to leg it?
"Heh, dumbass gato."
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Squeegy

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Re: FOOT SOLDIERS - GUESS WHAT WE HACKED THE GIBSON
« Reply #213 on: June 10, 2011, 11:53:29 pm »

Aso and Sirvius pick their strategies for the fight. The tiger is behind bars.

You can still stab it if you want, though.
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I think I'm an alright guy. I just wanna live until I gotta die. I know I'm not perfect, but God knows I try.
Kobold Name Generator
⚔Dueling Blades⚔
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Phantom

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Re: FOOT SOLDIERS - GUESS WHAT WE HACKED THE GIBSON
« Reply #214 on: June 10, 2011, 11:56:27 pm »

It can't POSSIBLY steal my spear, so I stab it.
...For the extra experience.
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IronyOwl

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Re: FOOT SOLDIERS - GUESS WHAT WE HACKED THE GIBSON
« Reply #215 on: June 11, 2011, 12:02:18 am »

Thank you for leaving us to be eaten by mana rats.

Attempt to decapitate the rats when they leap at me.
Logged
Quote from: Radio Controlled (Discord)
A hand, a hand, my kingdom for a hot hand!
The kitchenette mold free, you move on to the pantry. it's nasty in there. The bacon is grazing on the lettuce. The ham is having an illicit affair with the prime rib, The potatoes see all, know all. A rat in boxer shorts smoking a foul smelling cigar is banging on a cabinet shouting about rent money.

Squeegy

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Re: FOOT SOLDIERS - GUESS WHAT WE HACKED THE GIBSON
« Reply #216 on: June 11, 2011, 12:56:20 am »

Thank you for leaving us to be eaten by mana rats.

Attempt to decapitate the rats when they leap at me.

Intent to sever, aim for head?
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I think I'm an alright guy. I just wanna live until I gotta die. I know I'm not perfect, but God knows I try.
Kobold Name Generator
⚔Dueling Blades⚔
Fertile Lands
The Emerald Isles

SeriousConcentrate

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Re: FOOT SOLDIERS - GUESS WHAT WE HACKED THE GIBSON
« Reply #217 on: June 11, 2011, 12:57:52 am »

Kevin went to check the lock on the cage and make sure that damn tiger wasn't going to leap out at them the second Daniel stabbed it. If it looked like it would, he was out the door and closing it behind him.
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SerCon Shorts: This Is How You Do It - Twenty-three one minute or less videos of random stupidity in AC:U, Bloodborne, DS2:SotFS, Salt & Sanctuary, and The Witcher 3.

IronyOwl

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Re: FOOT SOLDIERS - GUESS WHAT WE HACKED THE GIBSON
« Reply #218 on: June 11, 2011, 02:06:35 am »

Thank you for leaving us to be eaten by mana rats.

Attempt to decapitate the rats when they leap at me.

Intent to sever, aim for head?
Indeed.
Logged
Quote from: Radio Controlled (Discord)
A hand, a hand, my kingdom for a hot hand!
The kitchenette mold free, you move on to the pantry. it's nasty in there. The bacon is grazing on the lettuce. The ham is having an illicit affair with the prime rib, The potatoes see all, know all. A rat in boxer shorts smoking a foul smelling cigar is banging on a cabinet shouting about rent money.

Johnfalcon99977

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Re: FOOT SOLDIERS - GUESS WHAT WE HACKED THE GIBSON
« Reply #219 on: June 11, 2011, 09:03:38 am »

Leon climbs the ladder.

No, seriously, I heard working on the railroads has good pay.
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Also known as the Knowlagable, the Forgetful, and/or the Ignored

Please excuse my horrible awful linguistic skills.

noah22223

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Re: FOOT SOLDIERS - GUESS WHAT WE HACKED THE GIBSON
« Reply #220 on: June 11, 2011, 04:32:50 pm »

Aso twirls her sword like a helicopter blade.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWTFG3J1CP8
So I'm a Depressing Jesus Wizard being stalked by Satan Lights, and my home's wiring is going bad?
Goddammit.

Squeegy

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Re: FOOT SOLDIERS - GUESS WHAT WE HACKED THE GIBSON
« Reply #221 on: June 11, 2011, 07:07:26 pm »

COMBAT TIME

Name: Aso Emiza
Gender: Female
Level: 2
HP: 13/25
EXP: 15/20
Coins: 3 silver coins
Skills: Ambidextrous I, Escape Artist I, Sword Specialization II
Weapon: Steel Long sword
Equipped:Normal Clothes with Copper Chain mail under them.
Inventory: Sheath, Copper Short sword, Infantry Woman Insignia
Dominant hand: Ambidextrous, born Left.
Injuries: Left arm (1)

Name: Sirvius Malavai
Gender: Male
Level: 2
HP: 3/25
EXP: 15/20
Coins: none
Skills: Ambidextrous II, Sword Specialization II, Dodge I, Speech I
Weapon: Steel Scimitar x2
Equipped:
Inventory:
Dominant hand: Left
Injuries: Right leg (2), head (2), left arm (5)

vs

Name: Red Mana Rat x5
HP: 10/10 - 10/10 - 10/10 - 10/10 - 10/10
Level Rating: .5
Weapon: Flame-Tipped Claws (1d4P, roll to resist catching on fire (DC 8))
Special Notes: fire does 1d4 flame damage -1 for each turn sustained unless renewed

Turn 1

Enemies Turn

Rat 1 claws at Sirvius! (16)
Sirvius attempts to roll away, but Rat 1's claw catches him. (13+1)
The claw digs into the side of Sirvius's head for 2 damage! (6, 4, 2)
Sirvius resists bursting into flames. (14)

Rat 2 scurries behind Rat 1, after Sirvius and leaps at him, claws outstretched! (20)
The claw pierces Sirvius's right leg for 2 damage, stumbling him. (5, 4, 19)
Sirvius resists spontaneous combustion. (15-5)

Rat 3 swarms after Sirvius, but its lunge falls short. (6)

Rat 4 is distracted from Aso by Sirvius, and leaps hissing at him, but Sirvius moves out of the way. (10)

Only Rat 5 remembers Aso's existence, leaping at her and bypassing easily her horribly inefficient and impractical sword-twirling. (15)
Aso is too slow to jump out of the way. (7)
Rat 5 pricks Aso on the left arm for 1 damage. (2, 4, 8)
Aso's arm catches on fire. (6)
Aso takes 3 damage.

Allies Turn
The fire on Aso's arm deals 1 damage.

Aso fumbles her swing at Rat 5. (2+4)

Sirvius swings poorly at Rat 4. (2+3)

Sirvius's other sword flashes towards Rat 2, but misses. (5+2)

Turn 2

Enemies Turn
Aso takes 1 damage.

Rat 1 turns and scampers back to Aso, sensing her weakness. (16)
Aso easily rolls out of the way of his attack. (19)

Rat 2 takes another swipe at Sirvius, but misses. (6)

Rat 3 turns to aid its brethren, lunging at Aso, but narrowly missing. (10)

Rat 4 misses and botches a lunge at Sirvius. (8)

Rat 5 tries to press its advantage, but Aso deflects it. (5)

Allies Turn
Aso takes 1 damage from the flames, which go out.

Aso brings her Steel Long sword down heavily on Rat 1. (19+4)
Aso seems incredibly surprised to have hit, her sword barely biting into Rat 1's flesh for 5 damage. (1+3, 10+1+1)
Fortunately, the hit was to the Rat's head. (1)
Rat 1's head is severed in a flying arc, killing it instantly.

Sirvius's left sword flashes down on Rat 2. (9+3)
Rat 2 squeaks and tries to dodge, but fails. (10)
Sirvius's Steel Scimitar neatly decapitates Rat 2, spraying blood everywhere. (8, 5+2)

Sirvius's right sword swings in a deadly arc towards Rat 3, but it is no longer there. (5+3)

Turn 3

Enemies Turn

Rat 3 scampers to the side before lunging at Sirvius. (16)
Sirvius trips and stumbles a bit in his attempt to dodge. (5+1)
Rat 3's powerful claws bite severely into Sirvius's left arm for 5 damage. (17, 4, 8)
Sirvius bursts neatly into flames, taking 3 damage.

Rat 4 luckily misses Sirvius. (7)

Rat 5, seeing Aso's brutality, quickly turns to attack Sirvius instead. (1)
Sirvius, angry and on fire, brings his Steel Scimitar around at head level. (19+3)
Rat 5 tries to stop, lessening the impact somewhat... (2+2, 2+2)
The Steel Scimitar bites into Rat 5's neck. It slumps over, its head hanging to its body by a thread.

Allies Turn
Sirvius burns steadily. (3)

Aso turns to chase Rat 5, and seeing it dead, swings at Rat 3, but misses. (2+4)

Sirvius swings his Steel Scimitar madly at Rat 3. (16+3)
Rat 3 squeaks, nearly tramped under Sirvius's charge. (11)
The Steel Scimitar cuts through Rat 3's neck like a knife through butter, killing it instantly. (10, 8+2)

Sirvius's other Scimitar flails weakly at Rat 4. (3+3)

Turn 4

Enemies Turn

Rat 4 wavers, breaks, and turns to flee! (10-1)

Allies Turn
Sirvius smolders for 1 damage.

Aso brings her Steel Longsword down on Rat 4's head smoothly. (11+4)
Rat 4 never sees it coming. (3)
The Steel Longsword slices brutally into Rat 4's right front leg, severing it neatly. It drops to the ground in a pool of its own blood, letting out a long, drawn-out squeak as it slowly dies. (18, 10+4, 11)

COMBAT VICTORY
Aso and Sirvius each gain 25 EXP, leveling up.
There is no loot to share.

After the battle, Sirvius slumps on the ground, bleeding gently. The fire on his arm goes out, leaving behind 1 damage.
« Last Edit: June 11, 2011, 07:43:23 pm by Squeegy »
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I think I'm an alright guy. I just wanna live until I gotta die. I know I'm not perfect, but God knows I try.
Kobold Name Generator
⚔Dueling Blades⚔
Fertile Lands
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noah22223

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Re: FOOT SOLDIERS - ! I'VE SPOTTED AN INTRUDER
« Reply #222 on: June 11, 2011, 08:04:47 pm »

Aso ask's Sirvius if he is okay.
"A good soldier always helps her allies."
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWTFG3J1CP8
So I'm a Depressing Jesus Wizard being stalked by Satan Lights, and my home's wiring is going bad?
Goddammit.

Phantom

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Re: FOOT SOLDIERS - ! I'VE SPOTTED AN INTRUDER
« Reply #223 on: June 11, 2011, 08:06:56 pm »

Daniel has something in his Frontal Lobe futilely yelling at him while he still tries to stab the Dire Tiger through the right eye.
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noah22223

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Re: FOOT SOLDIERS - ! I'VE SPOTTED AN INTRUDER
« Reply #224 on: June 11, 2011, 08:18:05 pm »

Aso then does whatever possible to heal herself.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWTFG3J1CP8
So I'm a Depressing Jesus Wizard being stalked by Satan Lights, and my home's wiring is going bad?
Goddammit.
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