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Author Topic: Dwarven Laws  (Read 2682 times)

Duntada Man

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Dwarven Laws
« on: May 08, 2011, 04:47:50 pm »
While the Hammerer is currently missing, at least in the newest version I have, I'm sure we all have memories of him.

I myself have always wondered what exactly the laws were for these beatings, so in this thread let us list the crimes and amount of blows to the face they warrant, or what crimes should warrant how many beatings to the face.

Failing a production order: 2 hammerings
Being an elf: 4 hammerings!
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Girlinhat: The biggest issue seems to be size.  A 1x1 room would allow for maximum child desecration.

Devling

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Re: Dwarven Laws
« Reply #1 on: May 08, 2011, 05:58:51 pm »
Being a noble: Hammering to death
Being a elf noble: Double Hammering to death
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magmaholic

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Re: Dwarven Laws
« Reply #2 on: May 08, 2011, 06:33:12 pm »
wearing a thong:equals the crime for being an elf.
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GreatWyrmGold

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Re: Dwarven Laws
« Reply #3 on: May 08, 2011, 06:38:03 pm »
It's a certain number of "strokes," which can cause dwarves to die. Unless you equipped the hammerer with a cotton candy warhammer, of course.
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Duntada Man

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Re: Dwarven Laws
« Reply #4 on: May 08, 2011, 07:51:00 pm »
I understand that each peasant is on ly supposed to get a number of strokes for their crime, but none the less, the monster usually seems to aim for the head, insuring the first strike is lethal... then follows it up by up to 2 more.
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Girlinhat: The biggest issue seems to be size.  A 1x1 room would allow for maximum child desecration.

Interus

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Re: Dwarven Laws
« Reply #5 on: May 08, 2011, 08:48:27 pm »
Pretty sure being a noble is the exact opposite of a crime.  It's like, anti crime, where you're excused from crime because you're in a perpetual state of not being guilty of any crime.

Selling a toy furnace, 100 hammerings!
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Ahrimahn

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Re: Dwarven Laws
« Reply #6 on: May 09, 2011, 01:14:50 am »
Quote from: Interus on May 08, 2011, 08:48:27 pm
Pretty sure being a noble is the exact opposite of a crime.  It's like, anti crime, where you're excused from crime because you're in a perpetual state of not being guilty of any crime.

Selling a toy furnace, 100 hammerings!
No no anti-crimes are things like whitemailing and breaking and tastefully redecorating.
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Devling

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Re: Dwarven Laws
« Reply #7 on: May 11, 2011, 05:50:33 pm »
Quote from: Ahrimahn on May 09, 2011, 01:14:50 am
Quote from: Interus on May 08, 2011, 08:48:27 pm
Pretty sure being a noble is the exact opposite of a crime.  It's like, anti crime, where you're excused from crime because you're in a perpetual state of not being guilty of any crime.

Selling a toy furnace, 100 hammerings!
No no anti-crimes are things like whitemailing and breaking and tastefully redecorating.
And NOT pulling the doom lever.
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Duntada Man

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Re: Dwarven Laws
« Reply #8 on: May 12, 2011, 09:15:59 am »
Failing to pull the end of the world lever when ordered to, 5 hammerings.
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Girlinhat: The biggest issue seems to be size.  A 1x1 room would allow for maximum child desecration.

Satarus

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Re: Dwarven Laws
« Reply #9 on: May 12, 2011, 10:24:16 am »
Quote from: Duntada Man on May 12, 2011, 09:15:59 am
Failing to pull the end of the world lever when ordered to, 5 hammerings.

Unless the accused was getting a drink.  No dwarf should get hammered because of drinking.
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Duntada Man

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Re: Dwarven Laws
« Reply #10 on: May 12, 2011, 10:32:11 am »
True, sobriety is the greatest enemy of dwarven order and !!JUSTICE!!.

It is every citizen's civic duty to maintain at least a .08 blood alcohol content. Though those with such low numbers should be scorned as slackers.
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Girlinhat: The biggest issue seems to be size.  A 1x1 room would allow for maximum child desecration.

Ahrimahn

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Re: Dwarven Laws
« Reply #11 on: May 12, 2011, 10:50:36 am »
.08 is flushed out of their systems almost instantly by their 5 livers the propper dwarven blood alcohol percentage is 20
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Devling

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Re: Dwarven Laws
« Reply #12 on: May 13, 2011, 03:28:10 pm »
Going mad from your friend dying from going mad from his friend dying from getting the crap kicked out of him by the hammerer: Lot's of hammer strikes.
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ArKFallen

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Re: Dwarven Laws
« Reply #13 on: May 13, 2011, 04:08:52 pm »
Consorting with cats, gremlins, badgers, and rocs: 3-6 Strikes (starting from 3 and going up)

Trying to own community property (i.e. food without eating): 4 Strikes
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Devling

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Re: Dwarven Laws
« Reply #14 on: May 14, 2011, 07:48:34 pm »
Being sad: 5 hammerings
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