Last time on Let's Play Dragon Warrior 4, our Odyssean wanderings took us seemingly everywhere
but the place with a magical world map. Our sources claim it's in the south, so we sail that way a bit...
And find a town almost immediately.
If this turns out to be Mintos...
Blarghargarghargarg
Ok, in real life I handled this by buying a GPS. What's the nearest equivalent here?
Right, exactly. How convenient! Except maybe not; asking around, we find that Howden's decided to give the map away to anyone who can answer his riddle. No one's managed it yet, and out of some misguided sense of fair play no one will tell us what it is...
: The many treasure he discovered enabled him to start a business.
: Now he's tremendously successful.
...except for the man himself, of course, and we only get one try.
The guy we're talking to his one of Howden's students - Howden is the old man to the right, behind the desk.
Classroom engagement is a little uneven...
...but on the whole, people seem to respect him...
: Don't sell things, sell hearts! I'm struck with admiration by this idea!
...and a few are just outright fanboys. Even when, as here, Howden's advice is impossible to parse. Is Howden telling us to enslave others and turn their obsession to our own profit? Does he know Neta's mind-control secret?
Most of the rest of the town is gossiping about the sick guy at the inn, but we've no time for that. We need that map!
Desperate, Jessica is reduced to asking for the things she wants. Even so, if this doesn't work it's not the end of the world - we can always come back at night.
: The most fantastic merchandise possible, looted from the furthest reaches of the world!
: A deep understanding of the customer's wants and needs?
:
Guys, shut up, I'm thinking
: The ability to appeal to your customers, by whatever means!
: Offering a service no one else can provide?
:
No, seriously, you're making it hard to concentrate.
: Whinny!
:
Ahhhhhhh
Jessica is unable to reconcile all the conflicting advice she's been given, and honestly she's still a little freaked out by that "sell hearts!" thing from earlier. She says nothing.
: Oh
bullshit.
:
Shut up, shut up, it's working.: You're just jealous that Primrose's guess was closer than yours.
: I discovered it when I was young but haven't been able to uncover its secret....
: Perhaps you can reveal the secret of this Treasure Map. Good luck!
Woohoo! No more wandering the face of the earth, desperate for the sight of a familiar shore! We can just look on the map and it'll
tell us where we are. Fantastic!
...assuming, that is, that we can uncover its secret. I'm not too worried, though; we have the world's foremost adventuring merchant and also a
prophetess. Sir, madam?
: On it.
After some discussion and experiment, Taloon and Nara recommend the following procedure.
Step one, go outside.
Step two, hold the map aloft.
Step three, look up at the sky.
Step four, watch in wonder as a map of the world paints itself on the heavens. It's no Lamp of Darkness, but it's not bad.
Incidentally: what's up with that big X? It's surrounded by mountains, but if we can cross them somehow...
It's late afternoon by the time we're done, so the party hits the inn for a well-deserved celebration. Mintos has an especially awesome inn, so this should be great.
And the price is reasonable, too! But suddenly:
The luxury suite is already occupied! Who dares disturb the Chosen One Post-Victory Celebration?
...oh.
Professor Brey elaborates:
: You look kind.
: Will you find Princess Alena and help her?
Why, of course!
: I must ask the people of the inn to take care of Cristo.
: I'll meet you outside later.
Cristo's in pretty poor shape, semiconscious and moaning with agony. That lends our new quest a certain grim urgency, but before we go...
Priorities.
Actually, no, what I meant was that we have to figure out where the Princess might have gone:
: When I told this to the Princess at the inn, she darted out.
Fair enough, but why Soretta?
: My grandfather from Soretta brought me a root of Padequia. It cured me completely.
Ok then!
Soretta is far to the east and south of Mintos. I still mistrust my ability to navigate by boat, so the party travels overland.
(On the way, we learn that people can gain levels even when they're not in the active party. Also, Brey has wussy old-man arms, but is surprisingly spry)
Also on the way, we find:
THAT SAME DAMN SHRINE FROM EARLIER AURGH I WAS SO CLOSE WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
But it's a good thing we stopped by again; I'd forgotten about this Small Medal, hidden in that suspicious-looking annex behind the shrine.
Soretta.
To the right, and also below, you can see some NES-era farmer's fields.
They're populated by the world's most convincing scarecrows. Further south we find an actual farmer (who looks absolutely identical):
: Padequia roots? The drought five yeras ago destroyed them all.
: That's why I now grow carrots, radishes, and such.
And that's great, but while you're doing that your neighbor is crafting eerily lifelike simulacra of you and sticking them in his fields. I guess what I'm saying is
never sleep again.
Aside: have any of you guys ever eaten a radish? I'm realizing just now that I never have.
Living with our flaying-victim-to-be, it's the child-saving grandpa we heard about earlier! Good on you, sir. Also, keep an eye out: the world may soon need your skills again.
Fair enough, but since your kingdom is too crappy to afford a door for the castle, I'm just gonna let myself in. Cool? Cool.
Inside the castle, we find some citizens of Soretta who are too poor to afford homes. Or beds. At least they have each other?
Close enough. Upstairs:
Even the chancellor is sacked out on the royal carpet.
The King has the only bed in the castle. Even so, he's tormented by nightmares. Everyone in the party is experienced enough at adventuring to recognize a likely quest at this point, so we return in the morning...
But the king
still isn't on his throne!
But the chancellor gets to hang out inside and chillax all day? Uh
huh. Or maybe it's a deal between the two of them: whoever works, gets the bed. Having had some experience with farm work, I'd say the chancellor has the better side of this deal.
Ok, back downstairs:
: The record states the former King kept a Padequia Seed in the southern cave as a precaution against catastrophe....
: Unfortunately, monsters now lurk in the cave, and we can't get in.
: Sorry, I can't help you.
: If I had the Padequia Seed, I could....
Those adventurer's instincts never fail. At least there's Padequia left
someplace.
To the southern cave!
Actually wait, no.
Dragon Quest 4 introduced the Small Medals, little collectable items that you find in secret/random places throughout the world. Each Medal takes up an inventory slot, so things get out of hand really fast. We could drop them off with Neta, but Taloon knows a better way:
: From Soretta, sail south along the coastline until you run out of coastline, then sail south some more. Eventually you'll come to this little mass of hills.
: Sheltered by those hills lies a small island.
: It is my great pleasure to give you...
: The Medal King!
The King is not ungenerous; if we bring him his prized Medals, he's willing to reward us with neat prizes. Right now we have four Small Medals, so we could buy a Hat of Happiness (restores 1 MP to the wearer every 4 steps), save up a little and buy a Sword of Miracles (powerful sword that heals the wielder by one quarter of the damage of each attack), or save up a
lot and buy a Metal Babble Helm (strongest helmet in the game).
Wait, couldn't we also outfit the whole team with Staves of Punishment? No, because the Staff of Punishment sucks. Take a hint from the name, people, seriously.The Medal King's domain is small (ha ha), but it does have an inn:
: !!!
: Later! A man's life is at stake!
And then there's this curious stairway.
It leads to a portal, which leads...
...to that damned shrine.
Again.
So somebody, at some point, built a phenomenally powerful and expensive travel door network linking mainland Soretta, the Medal King's island, and some other random island with stupidly powerful monsters. Who? Why?
: "Who" is probably the Zenithians, back before the Ruler of Evil first rose.
But why?
: It is a mystery.
Whatever, we'll add it to our ever-growing List o' Mysteries (where is Balzack? What does Necrosaro want? Why does everyone hate bridges?) Let's visit that southern cave.
On the way, Taloon deploys one of his rarest and awesomest abilities:
: WOAH
: I can neither confirm nor deny the existence of the ninja merchant conspiracy.
Anyway, the Cave South of Soretta.
It's remote, inhospitable, icy, and there are weird arrow tiles on the floor. What the hell?
STORY TIME WITH PROFESSOR BREY There's a reason for that!: The people of Soretta resisted setting up a strategic reserve of Padequia for some time.
: They knew it was dangerous base the whole country's economy on a crop stored and grown in only one place, but at least that way they could defend it.
: If someone stole their seeds and broke their monopoly, they'd be ruined.
: They didn't have the manpower to defend it themselves, so what could they do?
: Their solution shows the typical ingenuity of the last century. When you step on one of these arrow tiles...
: ...it forcibly propels you whatever direction it's pointing.
: In this particular case that works to our advantage...
: ...but in a more complicated layout...
: ...it can be an effective defense.
: Thanks, Professor Brey! But if the Sorettans built this thing as a defense, why wouldn't they tell
us how to navigate it? Or those people over there, they seem legit.
The hands of the Ruler of Evil are the worst part. If you think I'm joking, wait 'til we meet him.: An excellent question, Mara, and one with a simple answer. You see, the Sorettans...wait a minute. Who's that in the back?
: Nuh uh!
: Uh huh!
: Nuh uh!
: Uh huh!
: Nuh uh times a hundred!
: Uh huh times a thousand!
: Nuh uh times a million!
: Uh huh times
infinity!
: Damn your royal education!
: Actually, I'd rather not take credit for that.
The rest of the other party proves more congenial:
: Sorry we couldn't let you join us then because we were full.
: It worked out. By the way, I see you traded in your merchant for a fist-fighting princess. How's that working out?
: Oh, it's been great. Sometimes she'll punch
through one monster into another one. All the merchant ever did was hang out in the back and appraise stuff.
: He never summoned an army of ninja merchants from out of nowhere?
: ...no, why?
: Hahahaha no reason, you know these hero types, always making stuff up
shut up if you want me to do it again
That's right, noble readers; this is a puzzle dungeon. Pick the right path (well, the left one in this case. The correct path. The
proper path)...
...and you get treasure.
But if you guess wrong, or get stuck, you'll be forced to watch helplessly...
...as the treasure recedes into the distance.
But that's fine; this path leads us to the one thing that's
better than treasure: important-looking stairs!
Which come with a side of monsters, of course. Conjurers are your standard spellcasting assholes; their weapon of choice is Infernos, which hits the whole party. Kill them fast.
Presuming that you do:
Shitting hell, Mara, way to embarrass everyone else at level gaining.
Down the stairs, we find this mess. Gosh, I wonder what's in that chest in the center?
(Brey's commentary above notwithstanding, this isn't really that hard a puzzle. Kid
Fjords had a hard time with it, but if I've learned one thing doing this LP it's that Kid
Fjords was kinda thick)
But wait! There are two treasure chests! Could it be that
No.
At least Taloon gets another level out of it. Memo to Taloon: why is the mage chick in the back getting twice your HP growth?
: Yeah, after the boulder thing that was no challenge at all.
But of course we're not done here. Remember all those unemptied treasure chests?
It takes a while...
...but eventually we clean everything up.
(This is also a great place to grind for Luck Seeds, which you should not ever do because Luck is not a very useful stat)
Also, at some point Taloon saved the day. The pictured Knight would probably have killed Jessica on its next attack, if it hadn't been busy giggling at whatever Taloon said.
Padequia Seeds? Luck Seeds? This is one seedy place!
Once we've got the Seed (and all the other stuff), we return to Soretta:
: Hurry! Plant the seed in this field!
: Yes, Padequia grows instantly.
What? No way. But Jessica goes with it, and sure enough:
: Thank you! Our country is saved!
: Take this Padequia Root.
Now, at last, we can save Cristo!
: Do we have time for a victory lap?
Make it quick.
: I'll grow Padequia from now on.
Yes, citizens of Soretta, we really are amazing.
Ok, that's enough of that. One Return later:
Alena has beaten us back to the inn; those victory laps always take longer than you'd think.
: Quick! Cristo needs the Padequia!
: Umm....Ha! Princess!
: You're fine, Cristo.
: I'm ashamed. I'm the one who should be looking after you.
: Don't worry, Cristo. Now let's resume our journey to find Necrosaro!
: Wuhzah!?
: I heard Necrosaro destroyed the Hero's village. Is Jessica the....?
Way to bring up bad memories,
dick. But of course she is, so:
On our way out, we're accosted by the bard in the hallway:
: I didn't know that Jessica was the hero who will save the world!
: A man named Ragnar, searching for the Hero, once stayed at this inn.
: Ragnar said he was going to a country named Keeleon in the far west....
See, Marone? This is how you do it. Precise, timely information, with a slice of flattery to help it go down smooth. And are there any tragically separated lovers around here? There are not, probably because this guy united them all. I'll bet he's even solved some problems that I've completely forg
: I've decided to study management under Old Howden.
: Goodbye, Primrose! Goodbye, everyone! Best of luck!
And Hector leaves the party.
He doesn't
say that our friendly anonymous bard counseled him into his decision, but I think we can assume.
Next time on Let's Play Dragon Warrior 4: Keeleon.
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