Haha, that article on Zosimos was pretty hilarious. I wish I had a time machine to go back and cock punch that guy.
But you know, the very article you brought up about Islamic Alchemy does say,
The study of alchemy and chemistry often overlapped in the early Islamic world, but later there were disputes between the traditional alchemists and the practical chemists who discredited alchemy. Muslim chemists and alchemists conducted experiments, while Muslim alchemists also developed theories on the transmutation of metals, the philosopher's stone and the Takwin (artificial creation of life in the laboratory), like in later medieval European alchemy, though these alchemical theories were rejected by practical Muslim chemists from the 9th century onwards.
Seems to me like the Muslim scientist were no different than my guys, they recognized garbage for what it was
That being said, maybe Goblin alchemy would work. Did you check out the Chinese article?
When ingested, these compounds did not always result in the desired outcome. Many individuals died or had psychological difficulties after taking certain elixirs. However, the loss of life may not have seemed a large risk, when compared with the promise of the afterlife. Although these elixirs were lethal or dangerous, there is some contention that these individuals were not ignorant of the fatality of some of the materials they were ingesting. Cooper states that "there seems to be little doubt, however, that some of these lethal preparations were taken with full knowledge of their effects and that the subsequent death was a deliberate journey to the next world, in full faith of attaining immortality." (pg. 55).
There were certain grades of immortality, so if the practiced alchemist died - as they all inevitably did - the level of immortality they achieved was determined by their corpse. If their corpse was sweet-smelling, it was said that they had achieved immortality in an ephemeral state. Likewise, if their corpse disappeared, leaving behind only the clothes, such as in the death of an adept named Ko Hung, this was another form of immortality known as shih chieh hsien (corpse-free immortals)
I can see goblins doing that, lol.
Imagine you did not know what a lightbulb was, or how it worked. All you knew was that the sun could make light. I flick a switch and it turns on, and then I ask you what it is.
You would undoubtedly say, "well, it must be magic, nothing else could make light out of thin air like that, it's impossible." Whereas when I explained it to you, you would call it "science, nothing more."
What was first magic to you, became science.
And actually, those alchemists were onto something (barely though), because transmutation IS possible! Once you break things down to the point where is is one material making everything else, you can put that material together in different ways to make other things.
For example, the bits of lead become the bits of gold. Magic to them, science to us. Magic and science are the same.