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Author Topic: How did you last *own*?  (Read 1332336 times)

George_Chickens

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Re: How did you last *own*?
« Reply #7125 on: January 13, 2017, 10:18:50 am »

I started out as an Australian boy in Hobart, who was well below the poverty line. As time went on, I became an electronics student, found a wife, and was making a stable but rapidly wavering income. I managed to sneak into North Korea, with my wife, at age 26 and become an electronic gear operator. I bought out some land from corrupt officials, and was soon on the way to being a powerful man. I dodged the draft with well placed bribes while I established myself, and lived off of my earnings. My net worth was now five hundred thousand Won. But there were kinks in the road:

Things were not looking good for me. A land deal went wrong, and I was drafted into the military, despite my bribes. A few years on, and it had taken a severe toll on my cash and health.  My wife and I got into a huge fight, and I nearly beat her to death. The next year, she died under suspicious circumstances, in a car crash, and my political activist past had caught up with me. I lost my job, and was paid a visit by the secret police. I was severely tortured, nearly to the point of death, but I refused to sign the confession. They eventually let me go, perhaps after bribes. I was released to a trashed house with tens thousands of Won stolen from me. Without a job, I lost my house and became a beggar on the streets of Pyongyang. I was soon a heroin addict with a net worth a mere fraction of what once was.

I invested the little I had left in some deals and jewels; an emergency fund to escape to the south if need be. After a few years, I met a woman who worked in local offices, and started a relationship with her. It was not long before I became an entertainer to the state, on tens of thousands of Won a year, and I also managed to shake the addiction for good. For the first time in my life, in my late 30s, I was able to avoid malnourishment. I sold off the jewellery with a large profit, and invested it in more land. Over time, my net worth soared -- it went from miserly to six figures in the space of a few years.

My marriage was stable, and our combined income allowed us to control more and more of North Korea. We were constantly climbing up the corrupt social ladder, but for some reason I was getting sicker and sicker. At age 56, I died from cancer of the esophagus (a simple condition that North Korea did not have the medical technology to detect), but not before being a North Korean millionaire.

Real Lives 2007
« Last Edit: January 13, 2017, 10:23:45 am by George_Chickens »
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Ghosts are stored in the balls?[/quote]
also George_Chickens quit fucking my sister

hector13

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Re: How did you last *own*?
« Reply #7126 on: January 13, 2017, 10:31:09 am »

Where did you get that? :o
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Look, we need to raise a psychopath who will murder God, we have no time to be spending on cooking.

the way your fingertips plant meaningless soliloquies makes me think you are the true evil among us.

Iceblaster

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Re: How did you last *own*?
« Reply #7127 on: January 13, 2017, 10:32:00 am »

Is that an actual game or uh. Just a fake story? I mean. Probably the latter, but I mean. That would be way too complex for a normal game :P

hector13

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Re: How did you last *own*?
« Reply #7128 on: January 13, 2017, 10:36:07 am »

It's an educational simulation, apparently... sounds awesome.
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Look, we need to raise a psychopath who will murder God, we have no time to be spending on cooking.

the way your fingertips plant meaningless soliloquies makes me think you are the true evil among us.

Iceblaster

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Re: How did you last *own*?
« Reply #7129 on: January 13, 2017, 10:38:03 am »

I found this by googling.

Not sure if it's a virus or not though.


EDIT: Link was to a cracked version. Probably not a good idea to do that.
« Last Edit: January 13, 2017, 10:42:10 am by Iceblaster »
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George_Chickens

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Re: How did you last *own*?
« Reply #7130 on: January 13, 2017, 10:39:14 am »

It's all true, except for the suspicious circumstances and activist torture. The reason why I was tortured is because I forgot to turn off activism, after sneaking into Pyongyang. My wife was also killed in a total accident, but I like to pretend it was suicide, because my character was NOT nice man. After all, what nice man infiltrates a totalitarian government for money and nearly beats his wife to death?

The game is fun, but nowhere NEAR as complex as I just made it sound. Most of your games will result in you dying in some third world hellhole or live an unremarkable life. It's also very, very hard to find for a reasonable price, and has that weird, mid-2000s "simugame" feel, where the simulation aspects and the game aspects both aren't developed enough and wind up feeling very odd and more simplistic than they actually are.

SNIBBEDI SNAB

Not sure if it's a virus or not though.

This is for the 2010 version if I'm not mistaken. It's not quite as good as the 2007 version, and its also glitchy.
« Last Edit: January 13, 2017, 10:44:44 am by George_Chickens »
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also George_Chickens quit fucking my sister

Iceblaster

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Re: How did you last *own*?
« Reply #7131 on: January 13, 2017, 10:41:36 am »

Aaaah. Well, I mean. That link supposedly has a cracked version of the 2010 version. Honestly, probably should remove the link after this post. Not supposed to link to pirated material :P

Egan_BW

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Re: How did you last *own*?
« Reply #7132 on: January 13, 2017, 01:24:11 pm »

I somehow killed a Sophit with two swings of my sword. Not sure how that happened.

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heydude6

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Re: How did you last *own*?
« Reply #7133 on: January 13, 2017, 03:01:04 pm »

The first time you fought a Sophit was likely with a rock attached to a chain, one of the worst weapons in the game. In addition to that, the rock flail does bludgeoning damage which beasts are very resistant to.

Your sword was likely obtained later in the game. Not only does it make it a weapon that is orders on magnitude better than the rock flail, swords also do cutting damage which is super effective against beasts.

Hopefully that's enough of an explanation for how you managed to kill a sophit with two swings.
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Lets use the ancient naval art of training war parrots. No one will realize they have been boarded by space war parrots until it is to late!
You can fake being able to run on water. You can't fake looking cool when you break your foot on a door and hit your head on the floor.

Egan_BW

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Re: How did you last *own*?
« Reply #7134 on: January 13, 2017, 03:31:43 pm »

I've fought Sophits with swords plenty of times, that's just the first time that a strike got quite that much damage for me.
And I chose the option that gives me a sword pretty early on in this playthrough, so I fought the first one with a sword too.
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heydude6

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Re: How did you last *own*?
« Reply #7135 on: January 13, 2017, 03:40:04 pm »

Oh, that's pretty impressive actually. Nice Job.
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Lets use the ancient naval art of training war parrots. No one will realize they have been boarded by space war parrots until it is to late!
You can fake being able to run on water. You can't fake looking cool when you break your foot on a door and hit your head on the floor.

Urist McScoopbeard

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Re: How did you last *own*?
« Reply #7136 on: January 13, 2017, 07:47:02 pm »

MGSV... Every mission feels like an own, lol.
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Arcvasti

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Re: How did you last *own*?
« Reply #7137 on: January 13, 2017, 10:21:13 pm »

Proved that Patchouli is still by far the most powerful of the Scarlet Devil Mansion residents as far as pure unbridled firepower goes.

I gotta say, I very much like this game. No idea why Rumia got a candlestick, one wing and all grown up, but she has some nice night-themed spellcards that are beautiful to look at. Also no idea why Patchouli decided to beat up the maid and gatekeeper, incinerate a bunch of her own books and destroy Remilia's furniture. Speaking of which, Remilia actually gets an epic freaking boss fight in this game, instead of being a complete pushover. It was still fairly easy, but only because I'd built up such a ridiculous store of bombs/lives and she lost her bomb-immunity for her last spellcard. And her battle-chair is amazing. It might also be a skeletal dragon or something and its really satisfying watching the thing fall apart under my magical onslaght. 10.12/10, would vandalize again.

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Eric Blank

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Re: How did you last *own*?
« Reply #7138 on: January 14, 2017, 06:36:44 pm »

Started a game on Earth with all civilizations. Play as renamed Rome, on the same team as Rome, with several other teams based on geographic proximity of the historical civilizations. Towards the end of the medieval era all of the other teams and several of the other non-team civs and city states declare war on us simultaneously. Ive been rocking a heavy military to control Russia because they spawned nearby (Siberia, while I was on the coast just north of Korea) and were expanding aggressively. This was in the middle of a was with Russia, so I decide the best course of action is to completely eliminate her from the field and march my army over to Rome, which spawned in Ethiopia surrounded by all these other five that just declared war.

Curbstomped Russia, sent the remaining forces west through Siberia, encountered Siam just west of the Gobi Desert. Siam and China are on one team, and after starting this fight more reinforcements arrive, so I employ half of them to try and march south through the Himalayas to reach China, which spawned on the west coast of the Indian subcontinent. Siam puts up almost no resistance, but China parks two cities in the middle of Pakistan/Afghanistan. By this point one of the other teams, the Iroquois and Aztecs, asked for peace, as well as India. I pile through the mountain pass and the troops overwhelm both of Chinas cities and continue south to beijing. Rome meanwhile continues holding off small groups of invaders with their military while building wonders. All the wonders. Stupid cunt. I sent him some cash, he spends it on a couple crossbowman armies. Regardless, he's still alive and with Siam out of the picture and Beijing halfway to dead, the one party giving up entirely after literally doing nothing, world war zero is about half over. And its only like 1200AD

I know I'm playing on a relatively low difficulty mode, but it still feels good to win.
Civ V
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AzyWng

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Re: How did you last *own*?
« Reply #7139 on: January 16, 2017, 09:06:33 pm »

Frank West leaves the Wilamette Parkview Mall as not only a zombie infectee but a murderer of around six thousand zombies and a little around a hundred special forces soldiers and their leader.

The weapons used for many of these murders were Frank's left and right hands and feet.

Being level 50 is rather fun.

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