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Author Topic: How did you last *own*?  (Read 1352101 times)

Parsely

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Re: How did you last *own*?
« Reply #2865 on: July 05, 2014, 05:19:17 pm »

EDIT: Hahaha, my daughter in law just had a kid from my char, and my son believed it was his. And since I have primogeniture, that kid is going to be my heir someday. Oh man, this is priceless.
That is legitimately hilarious. Who knew a game that looks so boring could be so funny!
Legitimately hilarious, I see what you did there. My multiple bastards are not pleased with your puns.
>:3
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Akura

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Re: How did you last *own*?
« Reply #2866 on: July 06, 2014, 12:24:22 pm »

Cracked a safe code, the hard way. That is, trying every possible combination.

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Parsely

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Re: How did you last *own*?
« Reply #2867 on: July 06, 2014, 03:46:59 pm »

How-?
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Jopax

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Re: How did you last *own*?
« Reply #2868 on: July 07, 2014, 06:11:53 am »

Over a dozen Archangel batteries along with several Ground Shakers supporting a single sensor equpped hovercraft. Park it outside the enemy base, tilt the camera way down and watch as the orange streaks halfway across the map before obliterating several buildings and any hapless units at the point of impact.

After you're done, move on to the next base and repeat for great lulz.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Something Evil

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Re: How did you last *own*?
« Reply #2869 on: July 07, 2014, 07:05:15 am »

Started up an old savegame, remembered the hilarious possibilities of sending in empty transports to soak up the enemy's supply of AA fire for the turn (and pulling them back for repairs if they get heavily damaged, because I'm a cheap bastard), then landing transports loaded with superheavy tanks right into the enemy formations, disembarking them (which doesn't count as movement and won't trigger overwatch fire), blowing things to kingdom come, reembarking (still no movement), and flying away.

The moment you've performed an Ultralisk Drop Harass in a TBS game.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Mesa

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Re: How did you last *own*?
« Reply #2870 on: July 07, 2014, 09:07:02 am »

I was bored and felt like playing that game again. I already have some experience with Sir Rattleballs and Meta-Science Pack is an extremely good backpack, but I'm only saying that because it's my only backpack outside the stock Champion's Backpack.
My teammates are Peppermint Butler and a guest Jake and we're up against Marceline, another Rattleballs and Lich.

Boy, that was a stomp. I was jungling pretty extensively that game which is not something I do usually and by the end of the game I was over double the enemy's levels. In fact, we all only died twice and that was only Jake. I almost felt bad after this since we quickly swept their towers and won. Blood Demon Sword may need a tiny nerf as it makes taking down the Goo Monster and Kee'Oth, as well as other jungle monsters too easy I feel. Until then though, Jungle Rattle is real.

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Iceblaster

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Re: How did you last *own*?
« Reply #2871 on: July 07, 2014, 09:54:06 am »

'Patrolling the Mojave makes y-'

*pow*

'Murd-'

*pow*

'It's not worth it!'

*machinegunnoises*

'Profligate scum.'

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Greiger

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Re: How did you last *own*?
« Reply #2872 on: July 07, 2014, 12:05:51 pm »

Was at half HP and stumbled into a monster den trap.  Most of the monsters were asleep though so I had a moment to figure out what to do.  I sent back my lower level Troll and brought out Kewne instead.  I told Kewne to go aggressive and started casting spell balls every which way from the corner of the room.

The monster room is defeated.  Kewne dropped but managed to take out a good chunk of the wind types with him, I'm down to single digit hp and my inventory is significantly emptier than when I entered the room.

Then a single balloon entered the room from the hallway while my hp was still low and I decided to wind crystal to GTFO, since it would probably kick my ass in my state.  I still call that a win though, that wasn't from the monster den spawn.

Azure Dreams (PS1)
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Jacob/Lee

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Re: How did you last *own*?
« Reply #2873 on: July 08, 2014, 12:36:58 am »

So there was apparently this boss under the keep that another town's lord had told me about. I stroll down there, stolen iron scimitar in hand, and see the boss, just chillin'. She casually starts a conversation with me and I try to stab her and miss. She shoots me in the lung with her crossbow, loaded with iron bolts, and I, eventually, kill her by cutting her neck off. With my newfound mortal wound, I grab her severed neck and haul ass upstairs to brag to the law-giver before I die.

Said law-giver responds to my gloating with "That is terrible" and tries to spit on me, but I dodge it. I slice his lower back open from behind. The nearby high priests draw their knives, preparing to kill me. I drive my scimitar into his torso, fracturing a rib and causing him to black out. I slice his head off with my scimitar and throw the severed neck at one of the high priests. It strikes his lower right arm and CAUSES IT TO EXPLODE IN GORE.

Then I demand the other high priest, called "high smile," surrender. He complies after spitting on me. I accidentally (honest) leap on him and start another fight, to which he refuses to surrender. I cut one of his legs off and he STILL refuses. I rip the bolt out of my lung and ram it into his chest. He blacks out. I stab his eyes out, get him in a chokehold with my free hand, and stab his neck, severing an artery multiple times. He bleeds out.

I'm now halfway across town, sleeping in a merchant's house, everybody none the wiser. I wonder who will face my bolt of murder next.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Nega

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Re: How did you last *own*?
« Reply #2874 on: July 08, 2014, 07:52:52 pm »

I have been trying to complete the arcade mode for 10 days, and always, always, Edge Master blocked me from succeeding.

I've tried multitudes of characters, some from the game, others made by me.

It's only now, after half an hour of constant dueling between me and him, that I've finally won three times.

Xiba for the win!

Tl;Dr Fairy Leviathan and Edge Master dueled for ten days. Only now did Leviathan win.

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MaximumZero

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Re: How did you last *own*?
« Reply #2875 on: July 08, 2014, 08:01:55 pm »

I have been trying to complete the arcade mode for 10 days, and always, always, Edge Master blocked me from succeeding.

I've tried multitudes of characters, some from the game, others made by me.

It's only now, after half an hour of constant dueling between me and him, that I've finally won three times.

Xiba for the win!

Tl;Dr Fairy Leviathan and Edge Master dueled for ten days. Only now did Leviathan win.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Guard Impact is the key. Master that timing, son. :P
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Holy crap, why did I not start watching One Punch Man earlier? This is the best thing.
probably figured an autobiography wouldn't be interesting

IronTomato

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Re: How did you last *own*?
« Reply #2876 on: July 09, 2014, 12:39:09 pm »

I walked up to the Lady, and gave her a wedgie.

DF2014
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Sirus

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Re: How did you last *own*?
« Reply #2877 on: July 10, 2014, 04:33:35 pm »

Playing through the game for the first time, my level 13 Mechromancer is smashing her way through a bandit camp. After clearing out the initial wave, I move forward and come face-to-face with Bad Maw and his Merry Midgets. This guy is an actual boss (splash screen and everything) and he has this massive shield which carries his midgets.

Thankfully, Deathtrap still has a few seconds left before it needs to recharge and it moves in, distracting Bad Maw and giving me enough time to chuck a DoT corrosive grenade. Less than 15 seconds after Bad Maw attacks, he and all of the Merry Midgets are dead.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: How did you last *own*?
« Reply #2878 on: July 10, 2014, 11:51:06 pm »

The Lord protects.
War finally broke out on the Eastern front. The entire Eastern Front was converted from the Believing cause to the communist cause in a heartbeat as I had let down my guard for a single year to try out democracy for a change. It was a resounding mistake. The Spartans attacked whilst the veteran regiments moved North to fight the Drones. The amount of bloodshed was monumental for all the matches I've played, over the course of a single attack at most you could expect seven regiments to die, I saw over 60 die in a single assault. This was the cost of the Drone's human wave, as impact rifles fired upon impact rifles. There was an odd thing about the weapons stage here in that every single faction had failed to develop weapons more advanced than impact rifles, yet defensive technologies had surpassed them, in a sense. All good garrisons and shock troopers wore plasma steel armour, soldiers armed with impact rifles could take on any unit wearing plasma steel so long as they were out in the open.
When they were in mountainous bunkers and surrounded by perimeter defences with sensor towers to watch every move, no longer is it possible. To make matters worse, the Drones had the secret project that gave them indestructible perimeter defences at every base. One of the worst assaults saw over 21 Impact regiments wiped out in a single fruitless attack against one Drone base that didn't even make any ground. Hundreds of thousands of Believers starved to death as Free Drone soldiers descended upon our lands and destroyed our farms and forests like an insatiable horde of locusts. One could see how it all resembled WWI after both sides started bringing out self-propelled artillery to wreak havoc with the densely clustered soldiers, funneled into a narrow impasse by a great mountain range that separated the fertile and industrious mountainside the Drones resided on from the food-scarce Believing outposts on the arid steppes. The war went on for so long that weapon technology had begun to spread from the south into our conflict; the first prototype gatling lasers had begun rolling onto both Believing and Drone production lines. The Believing mountain outposts had become veritable mountain fortresses and the assault on the Eastern front had shown some progress, whereas all assaults on the northern roads had resulted in 100% casualties and the death of almost all veteran regiments not sent back to fight the Spartans. The turning point came when two things happened: The southwestern mountain pass was won by the Believers at great cost, and the Believers successfully took over a minor Drone base in a Hannibal moment as they crossed the mountain and fired their gatling lasers, paying dearly for this tiny base. From there it was a matter of forcing huge volumes of soldiers past hostile Drone bases, losing hideous volumes of soldiers to the counter attacks whilst marching towards the Drone HQ and Whipsaw Base to take  away their unbreakable perimeter defences. Along the way the Believers unintentionally returned the favour to the Drones, captured bases were inevitably reduced from proud city centres to starved ruins as the workers rioted and refused to till the farms and work the factories against their own people. In the south the Spartans had nearly overrun my own perimeters, I had run out of reserves there and was beginning to relocate troops from the Peninsula front further south just to cope with the casualties. Fortune struck and the Hive betrayed the Spartans, allowing me to seize one last Spartan base and get them to surrender.

Now I had every Believing base sending gatling regiments to the frontlines against the Drones, missionary after missionary entering Drone bases to destroy their perimeter defences from within. When resistance grew too large, artillery destroyed their strength from the high ground whilst the believers starved them from the lands outside. With University and Spartan auxiliaries keeping the Hive occupied, the Drone backbone was broken. After over 60 years of constant war, it is almost certain that the Believers will win.

And only 3/5ths of the entirety of humanity was wiped out.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Now all I have to do is figure out how to kill the other three factions, one of which is:
  • Technologically superior.
  • Outnumbers me.
  • Has units designed to kill me.

EnigmaticHat

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Re: How did you last *own*?
« Reply #2879 on: July 11, 2014, 12:53:42 am »

Holy shit that game sounds awesome.
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