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Author Topic: How did you last *own*?  (Read 1352416 times)

Hanslanda

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Re: How did you last *own*?
« Reply #2175 on: February 02, 2014, 09:29:10 pm »

The Julii faction was making solid gains. They had sprinted to Carthage ahead of the Scipii, beating them by a single season, and fought the Gauls back over the Alps and gained a solid grip on the Italian Peninsula. Caralis and Carthage meant sea trade was largely under Roman control in this sector. A trio of large powerful fleets kept the sea lanes clear and moved the bulk of the Roman army around. A great many heroic victories were won over the Carthaginians and the Gauls, but a few were more acclaimed than others.

The Battle of the Western Bridge was one such battle. A single Julii family member and his retinue of heavy cavalry, two and a half units of Principes, and a single unit of Barbarian Mercenaries stood one side of a bridge from an army... An army of 1300 Gauls. The barbarian mercenaries moved onto the bridge, blocking the closest end only just while the Roman infantry formed up around him in a half-hexagon, with the weakest unit of Principes in the center, with the General cavalry behind that unit. The enemy warbands charged across the bridge, slamming into the mercenaries. The mercenaries blessedly fought like demons rather than give up and run for their coin, and the Romans tossed all their heavy javelins into the horde. Then, the barbarians fell back, drawing the weakened horde out into a killing ground. The Romans pressed in on three sides, butchering the Gauls with superior equipment, training, and tactics. Finally, the Gaul army broke and turned to retreat...

And then the Roman general and his cavalry charged. No one escaped.

Rome Total War
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Well, we could put two and two together and write a book: "The Shit that Hans and Max Did: You Won't Believe This Shit."
He's fucking with us.

UristMcWanderer

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Re: How did you last *own*?
« Reply #2176 on: February 03, 2014, 09:44:37 pm »

I managed to get my revenge on the asshole that shot me in the head and left me for dead in the small town off to the west. Showing up in his casino, I took a decent choice of dialogue to get him to go up into my new Presidential Suite with just him and myself. After a brief chat about the factions vying for Vegas, I decided to exact my revenge in the same way he tried to kill me.

Sneaking behind Benny, putting the sights of my own 9mm Pistol on the back of his head, and and a single pull of the trigger took him down with one shot. Afterwards, I placed the muzzle at the base of his head, saying to myself, "This time, the job is getting done right," before letting a second round fly into and explode the head of my former adversary's corpse.

I proceeded to celebrate by having a wine and a plate of fruit.

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kisame12794

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Re: How did you last *own*?
« Reply #2177 on: February 03, 2014, 10:02:09 pm »

I think you can actually get the pistol he shot you with, for added revenge.
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UristMcWanderer

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Re: How did you last *own*?
« Reply #2178 on: February 03, 2014, 11:24:15 pm »

I think you can actually get the pistol he shot you with, for added revenge.
I tried picking his pocket for his pistol, but it didn't show up until after I had killed him with my normal pistol.
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LuckyNinja

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Re: How did you last *own*?
« Reply #2179 on: February 04, 2014, 12:20:51 pm »

http://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=224412416

Loadout. Launchers are...well, pretty damn powerful if used right.
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Also know as 'Mr. Squiffy'
On Reddit as LuminiferousPen!

Sirus

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Re: How did you last *own*?
« Reply #2180 on: February 05, 2014, 10:13:25 pm »

Two moments of ownage tonight:

The first case was when the Gauls broke their cease-fire agreement with me, attacking a small army led by an untested general with several warband units. I had the general, three units of hastati, and a unit of light cavalry. They outnumbered me 2-1, fair odds when one army is a disciplined legion and the other is a motley horde.
Now, they were uphill and my cavalry would be foolish to take on a bunch of spear-wielders head-on. So instead I had the hastati (with Fire at Will turned on) hide in a stand of trees and sent my general out to taunt the barbarians in. They came charging down the hill as the general casually sauntered behind my lines, and only saw my infantry at the last moment. By then, however, they had too much momentum built up and ran directly into several volleys of javelins. This broke them just enough that, instead of charging in to melee and using their numbers to gain an advantage, they sort of crept up one by one, apparently shaken by the sudden casualties. As each warband began to rout, the general and cavalry chased them down. No survivors.

The second instance was when I wished to take a town that an army of Britannians were currently in the process of besieging. I couldn't assault the town while the Britannians were doing so, and the town blocked access to their army, so I had to go around a small mountain. When I got to the other side, guess who was waiting for me? A Gaul warlord. He immediately attacked, and the Brittanians got pulled in as enemy reinforcements. Total army strength was about 400 on my side versus well over a thousand.
Nowhere to hide this time, just some really nasty hills which prevented any one side from gaining and holding the high ground. The Gauls, being closest, attacked first. They somehow had no warbands of spear-wielders, but a couple of cavalry units, swordsmen, skirmishers, and of course the warlord. While I smashed most of them to pieces (killing the warlord) and many fled, they kept coming back to harass my army throughout the battle. Then the Britannians finally joined the fray with an army of just over 800. These guys fought like demons, not helped by the fact that my archers suffered a terminal case of stupidity and bad luck, losing over half their number while warbands chased my general around. Eventually we prevailed however, and they too started to flee. We couldn't chase them all down and lost over 100 brave Romans, but the battle was solidly in my favor.
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Quote from: Max White
And lo! Sirus did drive his mighty party truck unto Vegas, and it was good.

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Evilsx

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Re: How did you last *own*?
« Reply #2181 on: February 06, 2014, 03:49:33 am »

Somehow got an A for the first time with Brain surgery by smashing an hammer and not stopping...

...Is this how Dwarf surgeons do it?
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Steelmagic

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Re: How did you last *own*?
« Reply #2182 on: February 06, 2014, 03:52:23 am »

Somehow got an A for the first time with Brain surgery by smashing an hammer and not stopping...

...Is this how Dwarf surgeons do it?
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Dwarves don't use hammers.
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IronTomato

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Re: How did you last *own*?
« Reply #2183 on: February 06, 2014, 09:56:55 am »

Somehow got an A for the first time with Brain surgery by smashing an hammer and not stopping...

...Is this how Dwarf surgeons do it?
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Dwarves don't use hammers.
War hammers.
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da_nang

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Re: How did you last *own*?
« Reply #2184 on: February 06, 2014, 10:14:35 am »

Somehow got an A for the first time with Brain surgery by smashing an hammer and not stopping...

...Is this how Dwarf surgeons do it?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Dwarves don't use hammers.
War hammers.
Slade coffins. Efficiency, dammit.
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"Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow."
Ceterum censeo Unionem Europaeam esse delendam.
Future supplanter of humanity.

hector13

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Re: How did you last *own*?
« Reply #2185 on: February 06, 2014, 11:26:55 am »

Won the Scottish Premier League on goal difference in the 2014/15 (5th) season, which is the fastest I've ever done it with a team that wasn't Rangers or Celtic.

Tying on points with Celtic going into the last game because of a defeat suffered as a result of a most annoying last minute goal by Rangers in the penultimate game, I was playing Aberdeen at home, Celtic were playing Rangers, also at their home ground.

Celtic were winning their game 1-0 after 15 minutes, meaning I had to beat Aberdeen by 4 goals in order to win the title, so being up only 1-0 at half-time was problematic.

After encouraging my team at half-time, my star striker proceeded to score a hat-trick, and I got a cheeky goal from a defender in the last 10 minutes, winning the game 5-0 and bringing the league trophy back to Edinburgh for the first time since 1960!

Also of note in the next season, got a free ticket into the Champions' Cup Group Stages, in a difficult group with Internazionale, Liverpool and Dynamo Kiev. My second game was against Inter in Italy, thought I was going to get completely knackered but ended up winning the game 1-0 after a poor clearance landed at my somewhat technically-challenged defensive midfielder at the edge of the 18-yard box, and he slotted it in the bottom corner in the 95th minute. Much pleasure was had. Also haven't been beaten in the domestic league all season, presently sitting pretty at the top of the table by 6 points in the middle of December.

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IronTomato

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Re: How did you last *own*?
« Reply #2186 on: February 06, 2014, 11:33:08 am »

I managed to complete the whole prologue taking no damage, except
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And it felt good, maaaan. The first time I tried it before, but I got hit by a single bullet which ruined everything.

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Akura

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Re: How did you last *own*?
« Reply #2187 on: February 08, 2014, 12:40:06 pm »

We took off heading for a manufacturing complex, a major facility involved in producing Focke-Wulfe(I do apologise for butchering the spelling) fighters. Clearly, this is a very, very important target for the war effort. As we head in, our navigator ends up about a 100 miles off-course and gets lost, but I manually correct it. Although it seems that the enemy had very early warning of our approach(actually not as much as I thought due to ending up so off-course), and the first squadron of interceptors met us at the edge of their patrol range.

However, for once our escorts were actually present, and managed to engage them before they got to us. As they tried to both manuever into attack position, and dodge fire from two different directions, two of them crashed into each other. The rest were dropped by our little friends, plus one by our formations guns. The other squadron of escorts we had were apparently fighting off the rest of the enemy intercepts as well. The only thing we had to worry about was the flak.

...And the flak was nothing much to worry about. At least at first. The stuff coming at us on the bomb run was terrible. Even so, the bombs landed perfectly, at least 80% of the whole complex was rubble, and the rest was either on fire or just completely FUBARed. We apparently lost a bomber on the way back, but I don't know when that happened.

Sitting in my mail-in tray was a letter of congradulations for our stellar performance.

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Tjoh

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Re: How did you last *own*?
« Reply #2188 on: February 10, 2014, 09:47:49 am »

Start round as chemist
YOU ARE THE TRAITOR
KILL THE HEAD OF PERSONNEL

Okay. Start making two grenades, thermite and chloral hydrate for my stolen syringe gun.
I run off to storage and make myself a stunprod, and try to hack a couple of doors, shocking myself several times. Thankfully I ate a lot of kelotane earlier making me immune to burn damage.
After getting myself a toolbelt broke into engineering and stole some insulated gloves. At this point I hadn't used any special traitor gear.
Got the thermal glasses in order to find the HoP, which I eventually did. AFK in his room. Break in, murder him, steal his stuff and give myself all-access.

This is when the fun began. Walked into telecomms and turned on a script that made all radio transmissions on the common channel change into a line from "Always look on the bright side of life".
I figured that the captain would call the shuttle if they could not fix the script.
I was wrong.
Called the shuttle, captain recalls it. Call it again, and blow up a C4 at the console which did not do any damage to it.
I run to the security escape pod and wait for greentext. And then I see the warden walking towards the pod.
When he opens the doors to the pod, I stab him with my paralysis pen, and tie him to the other chair.

And then I gloat like the villain I feel like being

THE TRAITOR WAS SUCCESSFUL
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cerapa

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Re: How did you last *own*?
« Reply #2189 on: February 11, 2014, 10:46:15 am »

Won the ability draft. Hard.

Started as Clinkz. Even though there was another ranged hero picking before me I managed to get Fury Swipes(deals more damage the more you hit someone), then got Reactive Armour(makes you pretty much immune to physical damage) and Berserkers Blood(makes you gain an increasing amount of attack speed and magic resist as you get damaged), and as the ult got chronosphere.

Basically, the more they hurt me, the harder I hit, and the less damage I took. And when I got in trouble, I just ulted and killed everyone.

In the end I went 23/1 and had triple the XP and gold that everyone else had. The game lasted 20 minutes.

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Tick, tick, tick the time goes by,
tick, tick, tick the clock blows up.
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