Geen's post a few pages back about hiding in a porta-potty and then exploding an enemy inside of it reminded me of one of the many, many awesome moment's I had in Glowcat's Rogue Trader Campaign. (Which, by the way, I hope starts up again sometime soon!
)
So my character, the swaggering manufactorum worker-turned-adventurer who, despite originally having stowed away on the ship and having no real, defined purpose for being there seemed to have an unlimited line of on-board credit, had been kidnapped by the half-mad, alchoholic captain of another Rogue Trader ship during a stop on-world.
If I remember rightly he suspected me of stealing some data chip or something, I dunno.
Anyway, this hobo pulled a gun and beat my guy to the draw, disarmed him and then pretended to believe his tale of innocence and decided we should go drinking instead. Now, my character would rarely, if ever, refuse an opportunity for drunkeness. Cue him getting drugged, taken to the hobo-Trader's ship and being cavity-searched whilst unconscious.
When he finally believed my character's innocence he apologized, but by then the party's ship was long gone. Since he was headed to the same planet we were, he offered to give my guy a lift there.
Cue my character recovering from his anal trauma, seducing the attractive female first mate assigned to guide him around the ship, and embarking on something like several weeks of wild, drunken debauchery. Seriously, after the
first night he woke up in some opulent quarters, with two unknown females (One of whom later turned out to be the ship's Astropath), a frightfully well-endowed ratling and the First Mate all naked an unconscious on or around the bed, the latter also coated in chocolate. Oh, and did I mention the ogryn in the bathroom? Yeah, that was kinda disturbing. And that was just the first night!
Aaaanyway, to get to the point of the story; upon arrival in the target planet's orbit Captain Thaddeus (the hobo-captain who kidnapped me) offered me a job before I left: to infiltrate a party held by some high-ranking Beast Trader (trading in exotic monsters from across space, chiefly for use in gladiatorial fights etc) and scan the room he kept his records in with some specially-designed gadget.
Lured by promises of lots and lots of cash in payment, and perhaps lulled into a sense of indestructible self-confidence by his recent lifestyle of boozing, smoking and [REDACTED]ing, my character (named Rasosk) quickly agreed. And so began perhaps one of the most ridiculous of his many misadventures; along with Captain Thaddeus, First Mate Emry(whose attitude towards Rask had cooled considerably, apparently embarassed by her drunken behaviour), some other person I forget and a swarthy, quiet and mysterious guy with mutton chops.
(Can't remember what is official purpose was, I just referred to him as 'dude with muttonchops') They briefed my guy, we arrived and entered the party seperately. It was some big, dramatic penthouse with mood lighting, filled with rich folk of all types dressed in all the weird fashions you'd expect in this far-flung corner of the Imperium. It just so happened that the rest of the PCs were also at this party, and- get this- they were there to negotiate a business agreement with the very Beast Trader I was there to rip off. Lovely.
Having no idea of this, Rask had a look around for any way to sweet-talk his way into the backrooms, off-limits to partygoers. Sadly the serving staff were all servitors as opposed to attractive females, so that was one plan out the window. Plan B involved walking up to the door into the back and talking to the guards on the pretense of looking for the toilets. Hey, he was kinda out of ideas!
Predictably, they turned Rasosk away, and so he ducked into an alcove nearby and reached into the pockets of his coat for something useful. A few moments later, the guards responded to the commotion and discovered him trying to herd the miniature, six-legged horse he happened to have with him towards the guards as a distraction.
They grabbed him and dragged him with them, ironically into the back area he was trying to get into. Lots of featureless corridoors and rooms to either side, that sort of thing. I, of course, start babbling about how I was trying to groom myself and how that sort of thing is the custom on my planet and how I was there to broker an important deal with their boss and how he would be very mad with them for harassing me-- and so on.
Eventually they were both convinced that I was a complete nutcase and started chatting amongst themselves, ignoring me completely. I spotted an open door nearby and saw my chance; I managed to break free while they were distracted and run for it. They gave chase, and there was an interlude of running through doors into other hallways and ducking through other doors, until eventually Rasosk ducked into a dead-end room- the toilets.
He locked himself in a stall and drew his gun, realising he was either going to either break the whole 'subtle, stealthy' idea wide open or end up dead or worse: getting another "interrogation" & cavity search.
He waited til his pursuers were hammering on the stall door and about to break it down, then slammed open the door to try and knock them back. At that moment there was a bright flash in the bathroom. Rask, luckily, was shielded by the stall door, but when he stepped outside the two guards were stumbling about or on the floor, blinded and dazed.
Cue the entrance of the dark-skinned, muttonchop-wearing gentleman from earlier. He subdued the flashbang'd guards like a badass, grabbed Rasosk and together they fled the place to a waiting shuttle piloted by his equally-badass girlfriend, who said something along the lines of, "You could have just
left him, you know," to which he replied with something about duty/"leaving no man behind"/etc.
It turned out, poor Rask was sent in there purely as a decoy- Captain Thaddeus (rightly) decided he was completely inept despite all his talk and tall tales, and sent him in there to distract the guards with some stupid scheme whilst Muttonchops did all the real work. Whoops. And he didn't say anything about getting Rask out of there, either.
Eventually my saviours dropped Rask off back at his own ship, he met back up with his long-lost party members, had a teary reunion with his terribly neglected NPC girlfriend, and they all went on their way.
...Wow. I really ended up rambling there, didn't I? I was nostalgia'ing pretty damn hard. Man, now I'm sad that that game's been on hiautus for ages.
*I originally rolled him using a DH character generator or something due to homebrewed rules. It got a bit confusing.
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Topic: How did you last *own*? (Read 1350682 times)