And Lo, Choobakka did create the next turn. And there were cries of happiness heard in the halls of the Bay12 RTD subsubforum. Also, I cleaned up the statuses a bit. I think I might just restart when you beat the FINAL BOSS. The next RTD I actually do, instead of ignore and focus on one that I'm better at will be RTPJ2, but a different plot. That I won't make up as I go. I still don't know who the final boss is. Like, seriously. It might end up being a
Giant Space Flea from Nowhere.
"I HAHF TA KILL YOO NAW? WHAHT THA FOOK MATE?!"
Axehand. Ghast's face. Make it happen.
Disable the orc with a swordstrike!
Use the ghast to distract the angry-looking golem!
Be too enraged for rational thought.
"Heal" the orc!
BECOME ANGRY
FRIGGIN FAILADIN DENYING ME MY AWESOME BATTLE
I GOT BETTER SHIT TO DO THAN FUCK AROUND WITH YOUR PANSY ASS
Initiative! (Nirur:3, Torir:5, Jo:6, Schil:5, Ghast:5) Jo gets the first strike! With his PIRATE POWER he switches his hand to the AXE MODE! He brings it around in an arc... (6) (dodge:2) It hits the ghast hard! Right in the (BP:2) chest! Seriously, Jo? Groping a girl when she's undead? Your Orc-Mom would be disappointed in you. Your Orc-Pirate-Dad would probably be proud, but whatever. Anyway. (damage:6+2) You cleave the Ghast in twain. The spirit of the girl is released from the monster's body. And stays around. It looks (to those who can see her, specifically Nirur and Torir) like she is very angry. And about to unleash some rage on Torir. (Torir:3, Schil:2, Girl:5) She rushes towards him, with her ghostly hands outstretched! (6) (dodge:1) She sticks her hands (BP:6) around his neck, and begins to throttle him! (damage:1+3) Even with such a tenuous grip, she still manages to make him pause. And she tries to possess his body. (4 vs 5) Torir casts her away, though, and leaps at Big Jo. (3) (dodge:5) Jo moves out of the way, and (1) stumbles, unable to counterstrike. Schilcote swings his hammer at the FAILADIN's back! (3+1) (dodge:1-1) And connects. Right in the (BP:4) legs. (damage:1+2-1) FFFFFFFFFFFF- (trip?:3) -UUUUCK. It did NOTHING. And he didn't trip! What is this guy, anyway? An asshole, that's what! Norur goes up behind Jo and lays his hands on him. Unfortunately, Jo isn't actually hurt. So you get a +2 to the heal roll. Should have thought that out, eh? (4+2) Hey! It's a mutation! Awesome! (Physical/Mental:1, Physical. Degree:4, reasonably big. Benefit:3, trade-off. BP:6, whole motherfucking body) Jo begins to grow some muscles. Some more muscles. He is quite muscley. So, He gets a +1 to damage. And a -1 to accuracy. Only applies to non-ARM OF AWESOME attacks.
fuck.
create a telEporter to port it up to the roof. badass flame turret take note.
Yeah. You try to make a teleporter. And then realize that you can just walk. There are still enough stairs to do so. You get in the flame turret, and shoot it at those flyin' zombies. (2) (dodge:5) And miss them, unfortunately. The flaming napalm flies to the ground below. Nice job.
He shook his fist at Ax for being a Crazy kid before letting his Zombie Zombies loose and telling FRANK to open fire, Tell Sword a bed time story.
You get Frank to fire from the Emet. He shoots. (1) At you, apparently. (dodge:1) And hits. (BP:6, 3) Your lower left arm. Wait, is that the mechanical one? I forget... Yeah, it is. Alright. (damage:4+1-1) The arm takes a beating, and interrupts your bedtime story. Damn.
Ax hovered in front of the bard-ette, thinking fast. Shit, I'm no good at rhyming. "Can't you just let me touch the stone first and THEN we can do this?" he asked, sure that that wasn't going to happen. "Besides, if all you want is a body, you should go talk to a friend of mine. See him down there with all the zombies? The four-armed guy? He can build you one. Seriously. If you help him out I'm sure he'd help you because he likes doing that kind of weird stuff."
...He probably wasn't making any headway at all. Time to try the patented technique that always got women to leave in disgust. Hopefully this time it would be useful. "...If you want my body for some other reason I'm sure we can work something out," he said.
She glares at you.
I am offended by this outrage. So offended, you have no idea. (1) She fails to hit you, and you fly past. Like a boss. (2) Like the pointy-haired boss, to be exact. You don't make it very far before she's i front of you again. "
No, you will take my offer. And you will lose. Let's just get this over with..."
Statuses:
Species: Mutant Description: A "Being" That stands like a man, the size of a man, but covered with horrible burns and an alchemists robe
Profession: Alchemist/Mad Scientest
Background: He once was a man. Atleast he thinks so. But what he does remember is his knack for mixing up chemicals and herbs, always trying to find that perfect mix. But he has suffered his fair share of accidents in the lab
Home Plane: Astral Plane
Abilities:
Master Alchemist,
Mad Alchemist,
Astral Denizen,
Well-Read,
flight Mutations:
Alchemical Immunities,
Four Arms,
Inventory:
Bottle Sling,
Leather Robes,
Phial of enchanted gas,
Doctor's Bag, Plague Doctor Mask, Iron Dagger, 5 gp,
SAM, Mild Hallucinogen (10 doses),
Sword, ARM OF AWESOME!
Spells:
Spined Hands,
Firebolt,
Thriller,
Name: Axolisin Sathael. He prefers being called Ax or Sin since he thinks it's awesome.
Species: Tiefling Description: Short, pale, and skinny. He stands about 5'5 and 120 pounds. His hair and eyes are pure black and his pure white skin has light gray spots across it. His horns are goat-like. He spends a lot of time moping and figures since he's just so mistreated he can do whatever he wants.
Profession: Thief
Background: He's been kicked around his entire life as you might expect and resorted to thievery since Tieflings are branded as thieves and untrustworthy anyway. He's very small time and hasn't progressed much beyond mugging, purse stealing, pickpocketing, and robbing the poor.
Home Plane: Plane of Shadow
Inventory:
Steel Daggers,
Good Lockpicks,
Magic Ring,
Black Leather Armor, Thieves' Guild License, Ring of Invisibility,
Boomerang Dagger,
Abilities:
Burglar,
Good Eyes,
Denizen of Shadow,
Fancy Horns,
Trap Master, Big Crow Wings
Species: Golem Description: Created as a result of DRUNK THAUMATOLOGY!. Was intended to have humanlike personality and intellgence. Doesn't talk much, but isn't stupid. Has no goals of his own besides survival, goes around helping people with various things for lack of a better purpose. Will do anything asked of him unless he has a reason not to (if it conflicts with an existing goal or his basic morality). Lawful Good (as in lawful as the opposite of chaotic). Extremely logical and unemotional. Dislikes entropic behavior. Is good with machines (clockwork and a bit of early steam power, I guess). When he does talk, it sounds something like the above paragraph.
Profession: None. See above. Requires no food and builds his own shelter, and has very little interest in material goods.
Background: See description.
Home Plane: Material Plane.
Inventory:
Lifeban,
Toolkit, 15 gp,
Magitek Manuals, Foot Jets (5 continuous turns/20 hops),
Sonar Cannon Guitar., Cool Shades, Teleforce
Abilities:
Pneumatic Joints,
Simple Personality,
Material Plane Denizen,
Oh Captain My Captain,
Armor Plating This character brought to you thanks to the wonderful racial descriptions.
Species: Aasimar
Description: Lawful Neutral, almost Lawful Stupid. He firmly believes in the tenets of his faith, and is willing to die to uphold them. Was split into Nirur and Torir, god and evil respectively. A god of good put them back together, and they now are essentially one person with two minds. Profession: Paladin. Background: His people believe themselves to be the only true guardians of the material plane; the best way to help the mortal inhabitants of said plane is by not touching anything. Obviously this is what The Creator had in mind, and any who meddle in the plane, and therefore blaspheme The Creator, are to be punished severely. After three decades of military service (doing nothing), he has been sent out as a sort of test to determine the extent of the planer distortion, fix it if possible, find the perpetrators, deliver justice, then report back.
Home Plane: Ethereal Plane.
Abilities: Nirur:
Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking,
Righteous Fury, Lay On Hands
Torir:
Puppy Kicker,
Evil Bastard, Negative Energy Beam
Inventory:
Unholy Longsword,
Evil Symbol Full Plate Armor,
Enchanted Ring, 50 gp, Scary Dagger
Name: Jo'Ldza (Big Jo)
Species: Orc
Description: We'sn orcs may be deesa jerks, but we's still hassda jobs. I'mn A big ork. Got'sa bald head, with red eyes and wella build a'ms. I'sa been a kaptain for more dan' twenn'y yea's. I 'elp keep the balance wit' mah krew. Profession: Kaptain of an orc sailing ship Background: Grew up on a sailing boat with his brother, who was also a kaptain. inherited kaptain'ism and crew from his brother when he died.
Home Plane: Water Plane
Mutations:
MUSCLES.Abilities:
Sailor,
Swashbuckler Water Plane Denizen,
Dinghy Pilot Inventory:
Good Half-Rapier, Shirt, Pants,
Magic Coin Necklace, Ring of Fireball,
The ARRRRm, 85 gp
Species: dwarf
Name: Azrael
Description: a short sturdy creature fond of drink and industry
Profession: blacksmith
Bio: got tired of digging and wants adventure
Home: earth plane
Abilities:
Dwarven Smith,
Drink and Industry,
Earth Plane Denizen,
Avatar of Rnasthoth Inventory:
Superaxe 9000!, Leather clothes, Blacksmith's tools, Mining helmet,
Iron Dwarf Armor 
Author
Topic: RTPJ: Tis belongs to Schil now. Have fun. (Read 87466 times)