So... Much... Epic...
fuckfuckfuckfuck
Grab Ax's hand
Sounds like our GM's on a roll then. :3
Ax growled in frustration, torn between going for the rock to end this as soon as possible and saving Jo. In the end, though, he wasn't going to abandon his orc friend. This is such a frickin' stupid idea, he thought as he secured the grappling hook to the Emet, tied the other end of the thing around his waist, and dived off after the pirate. "Hold on!" he yelled as he fell towards him, extending a hand...
Ax ties on the rope and leaps off Emet, reaching for Big Jo's hand. He grabs it, and (1) the rope snaps. It apparently wasn't meant to hold the weight of two people, one of them a big orc. Your descent was slowed slightly, but you're still falling. (luck:1) And nobody is coming to save you, still. The pit of fire is getting closer. And there is really nothing you can do about it. Unless... Ax thinks back to when he got these horns. If there's any time his dad should give him something, it's now. Wings... (
6) A voice goes through his head, "
Huh? Oh, hey son. How's it going? You got me any grandkids yet?" "FALLING INTO LAVA HERE!" "
Gwa? Aah! Hold on... One second..." The pit nears... "
There!" Big crow wings grow from Ax's back, and he levels out with Big Jo in his grasp just in time to avoid the lava. These are really cool wings. All black, and feathery... You fly back up and land on Emet's deck.
fix the damm holes in the damm walls and add armor plating. And make a suit of power armor.
Damn paladin breaking the frakkin' walls... You need to do something about this... (6+1) You forge awesome steel plates to protect Emet from any attacks. Yeah. (4+1) (6+1) (5+1) And the three of you (you, Iali, Machine!Iali) collaborate on some power armor for you. Some great power armor. (power:1+2) It doesn't actually give you any strength bonus, it just looks awesome. And can fly. (size:3) And it's the same size as, you know, armor. So no size bonus or anything. (usefulness:6+2) But the defense... The mighty defense... It is nearly impenetrable. Yeah. (efficiency:6+1) Also, it actually gives you energy. Which is cool. You have the Forge make it, and immediately put it on. YEAH.
"That's quite enough of that."
Yes, let's go get rid of that lich now ... Hey, no! Not the slave we worked so hard to free!
Return to the Emet and kill that worthless ex-slave.
"That's quite enough of that."
Yes, let's go get rid of that lich now ... Hey, no! Not the slave we worked so hard to free!
Return to the Emet and kill that worthless ex-slave.
Notice and obstruct.
Torir jumps off the kraken to the Emet and stalks to his room. In the hall outside, Schilcote appears. "
Let. Me. Through." "Negative. Protecting innocents. Leave. Do not force me to harm you." Torir tries to push through anyways, despite Nirur's thought-shouts. (6 vs 5) He shoves Schilcote into the wall, (3) where he stays long enough for Torir to draw his sword and approach the slave. He swings his sword. (1+1) (dodge:1) The man jumps in the way of the sword as it goes towards his daughter. It hits him in the (BP:1) head. Hard. (damage:5+3)
Bravo. You've killed an innocent man for protecting his daughter. Very good. I hope this gives you a sense of fulfillment in your life. If you would call it that. "
Get. Out. Of. MY. HEAD!" (1 vs 5) Torir casts Nirur from their shared brain. And starts to go bezerk. Now you control Nirur as a disembodied ghost as Torir rampages throughout the Emet. All you can do is heal or try to possess people. And Torir has completely embraced his role as a fallen paladin, so he has powers. Of evil. And first he turns his negative energy beam (the opposite of your Lay On Hands) on the girl. (6) It's an overcharge. She dies, and becomes an undead creature. (Undead: Power level: 3, medium. Corporeal/incorporeal?: 2, corporeal. Sentient/non?: 2, sentient.) Specifically a Ghast, a more intelligent variety of ghoul. She will try to break Torir's control, and attack him, but at a disadvantage because he is her creator. She says, in a dry voice, "
H-h-help... Me... K-kill... Me..." (6 vs 6-1) She makes a valiant effort to resist Torir's control, but fails.
Oh God this hurts. This is why I have a COOL ARM and my son SWORD and FRANK to protect me. Oh. And do that dancing thing. It might but useful....Continue the policy of shooting fire
On a lighter note... You begin to do a dance... And sing... "It's close to midnight... Something evil's lurkin' in the dark. Under the moonlight, you see a sight that almost stops your heart. You try to scream, but terror takes the sound before you make it. You start to freeze, as horror looks you right between the eyes - you're paralyzed..." (6) All of the men that were killed in the battle, on both sides, rise up and begin to fly. On the backs of the demons and the dragon. Because you brought those back too. They sweep at the remaining demons. (5 vs 1) And slaughter them all. You're still dancing, of course, so those rise up too. Now you have a zombie dragon, a zombie demon army, and a bunch of pirate and ninja zombies as well. Cool.
Statuses:
Species: Mutant Description: A "Being" That stands like a man, the size of a man, but covered with horrible burns and an alchemists robe
Profession: Alchemist/Mad Scientest
Background: He once was a man. Atleast he thinks so. But what he does remember is his knack for mixing up chemicals and herbs, always trying to find that perfect mix. But he has suffered his fair share of accidents in the lab
Home Plane: Astral Plane
Abilities:
Master Alchemist,
Mad Alchemist,
Astral Denizen,
Well-Read,
flight Mutations:
Alchemical Immunities,
Four Arms,
Inventory:
Bottle Sling,
Leather Robes,
Phial of enchanted gas,
Doctor's Bag, Plague Doctor Mask, Iron Dagger, 5 gp,
SAM, Infinity doses of
Wizard's Wallbanger, Mild Hallucinogen (10 doses),
Sword, ARM OF AWESOME! Spells:
Spined Hands,
Firebolt,
Thriller,
Name: Axolisin Sathael. He prefers being called Ax or Sin since he thinks it's awesome.
Species: Tiefling Description: Short, pale, and skinny. He stands about 5'5 and 120 pounds. His hair and eyes are pure black and his pure white skin has light gray spots across it. His horns are goat-like. He spends a lot of time moping and figures since he's just so mistreated he can do whatever he wants.
Profession: Thief
Background: He's been kicked around his entire life as you might expect and resorted to thievery since Tieflings are branded as thieves and untrustworthy anyway. He's very small time and hasn't progressed much beyond mugging, purse stealing, pickpocketing, and robbing the poor.
Home Plane: Plane of Shadow
Inventory:
Steel Daggers,
Throwing Daggers,
Good Lockpicks,
Magic Ring,
Black Leather Armor,
Deadly Poison,
Self-propelled throwing discs, Thieves' Guild License, Ring of Invisibility,
Boomerang Dagger,
Abilities:
Burglar,
Good Eyes,
Denizen of Shadow,
Fancy Horns,
Trap Master, Big Crow Wings
Health: Fine
Species: Golem Description: Created as a result of DRUNK THAUMATOLOGY!. Was intended to have humanlike personality and intellgence. Doesn't talk much, but isn't stupid. Has no goals of his own besides survival, goes around helping people with various things for lack of a better purpose. Will do anything asked of him unless he has a reason not to (if it conflicts with an existing goal or his basic morality). Lawful Good (as in lawful as the opposite of chaotic). Extremely logical and unemotional. Dislikes entropic behavior. Is good with machines (clockwork and a bit of early steam power, I guess). When he does talk, it sounds something like the above paragraph.
Profession: None. See above. Requires no food and builds his own shelter, and has very little interest in material goods.
Background: See description.
Home Plane: Material Plane.
Inventory:
Lifeban,
Toolkit, 15 gp,
Magitek Manuals, Foot Jets (5 continuous turns/20 hops),
Sonar Cannon Guitar., Cool Shades, Teleforce
Abilities:
Pneumatic Joints,
Simple Personality,
Material Plane Denizen,
Oh Captain My Captain,
Armor Plating Health: Fine
This character brought to you thanks to the wonderful racial descriptions.
Species: Aasimar
Description: Lawful Neutral, almost Lawful Stupid. He firmly believes in the tenets of his faith, and is willing to die to uphold them. Was split into Nirur and Torir, god and evil respectively. A god of good put them back together, and they now are essentially one person with two minds. Profession: Paladin. Background: His people believe themselves to be the only true guardians of the material plane; the best way to help the mortal inhabitants of said plane is by not touching anything. Obviously this is what The Creator had in mind, and any who meddle in the plane, and therefore blaspheme The Creator, are to be punished severely. After three decades of military service (doing nothing), he has been sent out as a sort of test to determine the extent of the planer distortion, fix it if possible, find the perpetrators, deliver justice, then report back.
Home Plane: Ethereal Plane.
Abilities: Nirur:
Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking,
Righteous Fury, Lay On Hands
Torir:
Puppy Kicker,
Evil Bastard Both:
Ethereal Denizen,
Split Personality Inventory:
Variably Holy Longsword,
Variably Holy Symbol Full Plate Armor,
Enchanted Ring, 50 gp Scary Dagger
Name: Jo'Ldza (Big Jo)
Species: Orc
Description: We'sn orcs may be deesa jerks, but we's still hassda jobs. I'mn A big ork. Got'sa bald head, with red eyes and wella build a'ms. I'sa been a kaptain for more dan' twenn'y yea's. I 'elp keep the balance wit' mah krew. Profession: Kaptain of an orc sailing ship Background: Grew up on a sailing boat with his brother, who was also a kaptain. inherited kaptain'ism and crew from his brother when he died.
Home Plane: Water Plane
Abilities:
Sailor,
Swashbuckler Water Plane Denizen,
Dinghy Pilot Inventory:
Good Half-Rapier, Shirt, Pants,
Magic Coin Necklace, Ring of Fireball,
The ARRRRm, 85 gp
Species: dwarf
Name: Azrael
Description: a short sturdy creature fond of drink and industry
Profession: blacksmith
Bio: got tired of digging and wants adventure
Home: earth plane
Abilities:
Dwarven Smith,
Drink and Industry,
Earth Plane Denizen,
Avatar of Rnasthoth Inventory:
Superaxe 9000!, Leather clothes, Blacksmith's tools, Mining helmet,
Iron Dwarf Armor Allies:
You kind of made his house into your flying machine, so he decided to tag along. He is now going all fangirl over Schilcote, who he sees as almost a demigod of mechanics.
Abilities:
Master Mechanic,
Old Man Inventory: The entire contents of his house, which you made into a flying machine.
You saved them from some pirates. Yay!
Abilities:
Powder Monkeys,
Kids,
Air Plane Natives Inventory:Clothes
Schilcote's Robobro.
Abilities: Unknown.
Vehicles:
The house part belongs to the gnome mechanic, the flying mechanism belongs to Schilcote, the fueling system was made by Riccto. It runs on air and can easily break the sound barrier. It will almost never break. Schilcote can planejump the ship, but will have -1 on all actions in the next turn.
First floor: Workshop, door outside, kitchen Second Floor: Nirur's room (one cannon - left), Spare bedroom (one cannon - right), Engine room
Third floor: Spare bedroom, cockpit (two cannons - forward), Iali Boltcut's room, ladder to roof, Grav Cannon
Roof:
Pouting TieflingAx's "room",
Badass FlameTurret, Two swivelling cannons, Big Light
Special:
Shield Projector,
Air Generator,
Energy Generator,
Unbreakable drill, Mapquest Generator, ,
Directional thaumic energy sensor
Bought by Schilcote to keep Big Jo happy. Flies as fast as you can row it (with the orc alone? Pretty fast.), enchantment is permanent.
Author
Topic: RTPJ: Tis belongs to Schil now. Have fun. (Read 89341 times)