Actually, in Central time, it's 10:30. And I started around 9:45.
Now's the time, the time is now.
Sunglasses on.
Teleforce charged.
ROCK.
You put on your badass shades. Aw yeah. You hold your teleforce that somehow vanished from the statuses in one hand, and strum your guitar with the other. Somehow. You manage it. Then you let loose a blast of awesome energy. (5) You fire it at the demon horde, since those guys look the worst, and (dodge:2) hit them with a blast of ROCK! (damage:4+1) About a quarter of the demon horde is scattered by your blasts of sonic energy, and you shoot your teleforce at them. You are apparently doing this all out the front window of the cockpit, by the way. (5) (dodge:6) They move out of the way of the blast, and start to chant. A flaming lawsuit of mystical energy flies at the Emet! (3) (dodge:5+1) It goes past, thanks to your amazing driving skills, and Ahzz shouts in rage.
Hmm ...
Defenestrate the ex-slave guy at the fog-ghost bard.
You get the orc to drop you off at the house, and you walk over to the guy who PUNCHED you through the FUCKING WALL. You are upset. Extremely so. So upset, in fact, that you are going to throw him at the other entity you are upset with, that gods-damned bard. (5) You pick him up, walk over to the wall, and chuck him at the ghost. (1) And fail completely. (luck:5) You manage to avoid hitting any of your allies, and he goes flying down towards the lake of fire. (6) The orc catches him, and glares at you. Then he makes an "Oh, SHIT" face, and you turn around in time to see the girl. (5) (dodge:6-1) Her punch connects, if a little lightly, in your (BP:5) right arm, which you threw up to protect your face. (damage:1-2) It does absolutely nothing. Seriously, no damage. She hurts her knuckles on your armor, and collapses to the ground weeping. (5 vs 1) There is no way Torir is dealing with a crying girl. No. Way. So now it's Nirur's turn to try!
Ax just shook his head at Naktinna, followed by a 2x facepalm combo. Everyone had to show up and make a big deal out of this... He sighed. Whatever, let all these guys fight it out. I got more important things to do. He left the Emet in the stealthiest manner he could and attempted to sneak up to the stone. Once there, he would activate it and with any luck put an end to these ridiculous shenanigans. Assuming everyone else made a good distraction for the hordes of enemies between he and it, anyway.
You try to figure out a way to get up to the dome above you. And then you remember you have that grappling hook. Yay, grappling hook! (2+1) You get kind of a tenuous hold on the roof above you, and start to climb. (1) Oh. Oh gods. You are now plummeting to the lake of fire below you. This is a bad situation. Hopefully, there will be some DM ex Machina. (luck:4) And there is! In the form of a very annoyed orc in a dinghy with a slave-dude! He catches you, and you are given a lecture by him about why you "Shouldn't fookin' fall outta th' g'dsdam sky!" He drops you and the slave off at Emet, with a parting glare.
Resolve the situation with ORK DIPLOMACY
The best diplomacy there is. You start off by pointing that ring of fireball at the other orc on the shark-dragon-thingy. (4) (dodge:2) Your firey blast hits him in the (BP:1) head. Like a boss. (damage:2+1) He's a little charred, and that made him notice you. Uh oh. His dragon is flying at your dinghy! (3) (dodge:1+1) Its jaws close around the poor exploda! (damage:4) The dinghy is slain! Oh no! OH NOOOOO! You are upset. (3) And on the dragon's back. With an axehand and a hookhand. And a swordhand. All on the same hand. You decide to go with the axehand for now. (1) Bad idea. BAAAD idea. You manage to hit (luck:5) the dragon-shark's wing with your errant swing. That's a bad thing. Ba-da-bing. (damage:2+1) Luckily, you just scrape it. So no falling towards a pit of lava for you.
EvRyThInG wIlL bUrN mOtHeRfUcKiNg HoNk!
SAM. Sword. Frank. Fireballs. Flight. And that spell you totally forgot about. The one with the dancing and the zombies? Yeah. But first, the burning. Starting with those pirate ships over thar. You unleash a pair of fireballs at the ships. (6, 1) One goes straight at the pirates. The other... Doesn't. In fact, it hits (luck:5) the dragon-shark. That the orc is on. (damage:2) The shark-dragon and everyone on it are fine. Now, the other fireball... (dodge:3) It hits the flagship's deck. (damage:6+1) The deck promptly explodes, sending flaming wreckage towards (luck:4) the other pirate ships.
This song is appropriate. (dodge:4, 1, 6) The wreckage hits one ship dead on, and grazes another. (damage:5+1, 5-1) The one that was grazed is still pretty badly damaged, (luck:1) and sets on fire, and the other ship (luck:5) doesn't explode or catch on fire. Aww...
stand by to repair the shit that will break with my Thor The Automated Forge.
Well, since nothing's broken yet, you decide to chill and play a game of poker with Iali and Machine!Iali. You win every time. But since you're playing for bits of metal lying around in the workshop, nothing really happens.
Statuses:
Species: Mutant
Description: A "Being" That stands like a man, the size of a man, but covered with horrible burns and an alchemists robe
Profession: Alchemist/Mad Scientest
Background: He once was a man. Atleast he thinks so. But what he does remember is his knack for mixing up chemicals and herbs, always trying to find that perfect mix. But he has suffered his fair share of accidents in the lab
Home Plane: Astral Plane
Abilities:
Master Alchemist,
Mad Alchemist,
Astral Denizen,
Well-Read,
flightMutations:
Alchemical Immunities,
Four Arms,
Inventory:
Bottle Sling,
Good Chemistry Set,
Leather Robes,
Phial of enchanted gas,
Doctor's Bag, Plague Doctor Mask, Iron Dagger, 5 gp,
SAM, Infinity doses of
Wizard's Wallbanger, Mild Hallucinogen (10 doses),
Sword, ARM OF AWESOME!
Spells:
Spined Hands,
Firebolt,
Thriller,
Name: Axolisin Sathael. He prefers being called Ax or Sin since he thinks it's awesome.
Species: Tiefling
Description: Short, pale, and skinny. He stands about 5'5 and 120 pounds. His hair and eyes are pure black and his pure white skin has light gray spots across it. His horns are goat-like. He spends a lot of time moping and figures since he's just so mistreated he can do whatever he wants.
Profession: Thief
Background: He's been kicked around his entire life as you might expect and resorted to thievery since Tieflings are branded as thieves and untrustworthy anyway. He's very small time and hasn't progressed much beyond mugging, purse stealing, pickpocketing, and robbing the poor.
Home Plane: Plane of Shadow
Inventory:
Steel Daggers,
Throwing Daggers,
Good Lockpicks,
Magic Ring,
Black Leather Armor,
Deadly Poison,
Self-propelled throwing discs, Thieves' Guild License, Ring of Invisibility,
Boomerang Dagger,
Grappling hookAbilities:
Burglar,
Good Eyes,
Denizen of Shadow,
Fancy Horns,
Trap MasterHealth: Fine
Species: Golem
Description: Created as a result of DRUNK THAUMATOLOGY!. Was intended to have humanlike personality and intellgence. Doesn't talk much, but isn't stupid. Has no goals of his own besides survival, goes around helping people with various things for lack of a better purpose. Will do anything asked of him unless he has a reason not to (if it conflicts with an existing goal or his basic morality). Lawful Good (as in lawful as the opposite of chaotic). Extremely logical and unemotional. Dislikes entropic behavior. Is good with machines (clockwork and a bit of early steam power, I guess).
When he does talk, it sounds something like the above paragraph.
Profession: None. See above. Requires no food and builds his own shelter, and has very little interest in material goods.
Background: See description.
Home Plane: Material Plane.
Inventory:
Lifeban,
Toolkit, 15 gp,
Magitek Manuals, Foot Jets (5 continuous turns/20 hops),
Sonar Cannon Guitar., Cool Shades, Teleforce
Abilities:
Pneumatic Joints,
Simple Personality,
Material Plane Denizen,
Oh Captain My Captain,
Armor PlatingHealth: Fine
This character brought to you thanks to the wonderful racial descriptions.
Species: Aasimar
Description: Lawful Neutral, almost Lawful Stupid. He firmly believes in the tenets of his faith, and is willing to die to uphold them. Was split into Nirur and Torir, god and evil respectively. A god of good put them back together, and they now are essentially one person with two minds.
Profession: Paladin.
Background: His people believe themselves to be the only true guardians of the material plane; the best way to help the mortal inhabitants of said plane is by not touching anything. Obviously this is what The Creator had in mind, and any who meddle in the plane, and therefore blaspheme The Creator, are to be punished severely.
After three decades of military service (doing nothing), he has been sent out as a sort of test to determine the extent of the planer distortion, fix it if possible, find the perpetrators, deliver justice, then report back.
Home Plane: Ethereal Plane.
Abilities:
Nirur:
Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking,
Righteous Fury,
Torir:
Puppy Kicker,
Evil BastardBoth:
Ethereal Denizen,
Split PersonalityInventory:
Variably Holy Longsword,
Variably Holy Symbol Full Plate Armor,
Enchanted Ring, 50 gp Scary Dagger
Name: Jo'Ldza (Big Jo)
Species: Orc
Description: We'sn orcs may be deesa jerks, but we's still hassda jobs. I'mn A big ork. Got'sa bald head, with red eyes and wella build a'ms. I'sa been a kaptain for more dan' twenn'y yea's. I 'elp keep the balance wit' mah krew.
Profession: Kaptain of an orc sailing ship
Background: Grew up on a sailing boat with his brother, who was also a kaptain. inherited kaptain'ism and crew from his brother when he died.
Home Plane: Water Plane
Abilities:
Sailor,
Swashbuckler Water Plane Denizen,
Dinghy PilotInventory:
Good Half-Rapier, Shirt, Pants,
Magic Coin Necklace, Ring of Fireball,
The ARRRRm, 85 gp
Species: dwarf
Name: Azrael
Description: a short sturdy creature fond of drink and industry
Profession: blacksmith
Bio: got tired of digging and wants adventure
Home: earth plane
Abilities:
Dwarven Smith,
Drink and Industry,
Earth Plane Denizen,
Avatar of RnasthothInventory:
-Copper Pick / Axe-, Leather clothes, Blacksmith's tools, Mining helmet
Allies:
You kind of made his house into your flying machine, so he decided to tag along. He is now going all fangirl over Schilcote, who he sees as almost a demigod of mechanics.
Abilities:
Master Mechanic,
Old ManInventory: The entire contents of his house, which you made into a flying machine.
You saved them from some pirates. Yay!
Abilities:
Powder Monkeys,
Kids,
Air Plane NativesInventory:Clothes
Schilcote's Robobro.
Abilities: Unknown.
Vehicles:
The house part belongs to the gnome mechanic, the flying mechanism belongs to Schilcote, the fueling system was made by Riccto. It runs on air and can easily break the sound barrier. It will almost never break. Schilcote can planejump the ship, but will have -1 on all actions in the next turn.
First floor: Workshop, door outside, kitchen
Second Floor: Nirur's room (one cannon - left), Spare bedroom (one cannon - right), Engine room
Third floor: Spare bedroom, cockpit (two cannons - forward), Iali Boltcut's room, ladder to roof, Grav Cannon
Roof:
Pouting TieflingAx's "room",
Badass FlameTurret, Two swivelling cannons, Big Light
Special:
Shield Projector,
Air Generator,
Energy Generator,
Unbreakable drill, Mapquest Generator,
,
Directional thaumic energy sensorBought by Schilcote to keep Big Jo happy. Flies as fast as you can row it (with the orc alone? Pretty fast.), enchantment is permanent.
Vortices Found: Stones Activated:
Plane of Death √ √
Abyss √
Plane of Water √ √
Mechanus √ √
Celestia √ √
Wizard's Tower √ √
Generic Asian Dojo √ √
Author
Topic: RTPJ: Tis belongs to Schil now. Have fun. (Read 89359 times)