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[choobakka]

In like an hour. I shall write the turn. And there will be much rejoicing.

[choobakka]

WHY THE FUCK DID THEY FOLLOW US? WHO'S WATCHING THE SHIP? IALI?

Ah well. At least I have my alchemist pal with me.

Pose as a team, 'cos shit just got real. Then ban lives.

Also, would you mind if I substit00ted for you while you're out? I promise I won't be a complete fuck-up like Ragnarok when he took control of YAWUIAC.

Shit just got real. This is so incrizzibly biznasty sickawesome dudeosityness! ...That kind of got away from you for a little. But you are so ready to ban some lives. You attack the little asshole with the glowing daggers. (6+1) (dodge:3) You smack that little squid-head in the (BP:6) right arm with Lifeban, (damage:4+2) crushing his arm and (luck:3) breaking no ribs. Because squids don't have ribs. (4) It jabs at you with its other dagger, (dodge:6) but you dodge it easily, (6+1) and deliver a finishing blow to its head. The mind flayer with the longsword are trading blows, (1 vs 4) and the mind flayer gets around his defense. (dodge:6) He dodges the blow, (4) (dodge:3) and smacks the mind flayer in the (BP:5) left arm, (damage:6) cutting it off. Akituhub is helping his brother, and is unable to fight the mind flayer wizard. (luck:4) Luckily, the wizard is too busy with the arrow in his chest to ttac them.

True dat playa.

"Whatever gets us there quick," Ax said with a sigh, preparing to follow Nirur. I guess getting the gold's out of the question... oh well, I guess I don't really need it anyway... damn it... he sighed heavily again, all the vitality seeming to drain out of him, and trudged along after the paladin.

Get creeped out by Nirur's duality, follow ax around. Piratey-ness is a variable, depending on the situation.

"We must free your family at once! Lead the way."

Aw, let me keep him.

You all follow the slave down through the city. He leads you through a warren of tunnels, and slows down as he reaches a hallway full of corpses. "W-what? What h-h-happened here? I- they- MY WIFE!" He falls to his knees over a woman's body. You hear a laugh from behind you. You turn around, and see the man from the store, with several friends behind him. "Hello, slave. This is what happens when you cross us. Now, unless you want to see your daughter dead..." He gestures, and a man shoves a girl forward. The leaderputs a knife to her throat. "... You better come here and kiss my feet." He glares at you. "And YOU. You are going to PAY for what you did to me."

OH NO THE CHILDREN. Make sure the Children dont get blown to oblivon. Shoot and burn shit.

This is it. The time is now. You will make sure that the kids are safe. You aim SAM at the wizard. (5+1) (dodge:6) He dodges it. How does he do that? HOW DOES HE DO THAT? (4) Oh, and he's shooting fireballs at you. Great. (dodge:5) You dodge it and tell Frank to stab the bastard. He rushes towards the mind flayer, and (2) (dodge:5) the wizard dodges. Greeeat. So he's a ninja too. (2) (dodge:6) AND he dodges Sword, (5) shooting a fireball at him, (dodge:6) which Sword dodges.

HA! I AM A DWARF! NO EARTH CAN STOP ME!! CONTINUE TO THE STONE!

Tunneling time! Yes! (4+1) You tunnel towards the stone, (5) and reach the bottom. You touch it, and then realize that you might want to touch the palm print up there instead.



Statuses:

Spoiler: Riccto, the Battletech Alchemage! N, leaning CN (click to show/hide)

Species: Mutant
Description: A "Being" That stands like a man, the size of a man, but covered with horrible burns and an alchemists robe
Profession: Alchemist/Mad Scientest
Background:  He once was a man. Atleast he thinks so. But what he does remember is his knack for mixing up chemicals and herbs, always trying to find that perfect mix. But he has suffered his fair share of accidents in the lab
Home Plane: Astral Plane
Abilities: Master Alchemist, Mad Alchemist, Astral Denizen, Well-Read, flight
Mutations: Alchemical Immunities, Four Arms,
Inventory: Bottle Sling, Good Chemistry Set, Leather Robes, Phial of enchanted gas, Doctor's Bag, Plague Doctor Mask, Iron Dagger, 5 gp, SAM, Infinity doses of Wizard's Wallbanger, Mild Hallucinogen (10 doses), Sword
Spells: Spined Hands, Firebolt, Thriller,

Spoiler: SeriousConcentrate, the Emo Demon Wonderboy. CN-CE (click to show/hide)

Name: Axolisin Sathael. He prefers being called Ax or Sin since he thinks it's awesome.
Species: Tiefling
Description: Short, pale, and skinny. He stands about 5'5 and 120 pounds. His hair and eyes are pure black and his pure white skin has light gray spots across it. His horns are goat-like. He spends a lot of time moping and figures since he's just so mistreated he can do whatever he wants.
Profession: Thief
Background: He's been kicked around his entire life as you might expect and resorted to thievery since Tieflings are branded as thieves and untrustworthy anyway. He's very small time and hasn't progressed much beyond mugging, purse stealing, pickpocketing, and robbing the poor.
Home Plane: Plane of Shadow
Inventory: Steel Daggers, Throwing Daggers, Good Lockpicks, Magic Ring, Black Leather Armor, Deadly Poison, Self-propelled throwing discs, Thieves' Guild License, Ring of Invisibility, [+1 to accuracy and damage, can hit multiple enemies]Boomerang Dagger[/acronym], Grappling hook
Abilities: Burglar, Good Eyes, Denizen of Shadow, Fancy Horns, Trap Master
Health: Fine

Spoiler: Schilcote, AKA Tony Stark. LN-LG (click to show/hide)

Species: Golem
Description: Created as a result of DRUNK THAUMATOLOGY!. Was intended to have humanlike personality and intellgence. Doesn't talk much, but isn't stupid. Has no goals of his own besides survival, goes around helping people with various things for lack of a better purpose. Will do anything asked of him unless he has a reason not to (if it conflicts with an existing goal or his basic morality). Lawful Good (as in lawful as the opposite of chaotic). Extremely logical and unemotional. Dislikes entropic behavior. Is good with machines (clockwork and a bit of early steam power, I guess).
When he does talk, it sounds something like the above paragraph.
Profession: None. See above. Requires no food and builds his own shelter, and has very little interest in material goods.
Background: See description.
Home Plane: Material Plane.
Inventory: Lifeban, Toolkit, 15 gp, Magitek Manuals, Foot Jets (5 continuous turns/20 hops), Sonar Cannon Guitar., Cool Shades
Abilities: Pneumatic Joints, Simple Personality, Material Plane Denizen, Oh Captain My Captain, Armor Plating
Health: Fine

Spoiler: Nirur and Torir, the Split Personality. LG-LN and NE-N, respectively. (click to show/hide)

This character brought to you thanks to the wonderful racial descriptions.
Species: Aasimar
Description: Lawful Neutral, almost Lawful Stupid. He firmly believes in the tenets of his faith, and is willing to die to uphold them. Was split into Nirur and Torir, god and evil respectively. A god of good put them back together, and they now are essentially one person with two minds.
Profession: Paladin.
Background: His people believe themselves to be the only true guardians of the material plane; the best way to help the mortal inhabitants of said plane is by not touching anything. Obviously this is what The Creator had in mind, and any who meddle in the plane, and therefore blaspheme The Creator, are to be punished severely.
After three decades of military service (doing nothing), he has been sent out as a sort of test to determine the extent of the planer distortion, fix it if possible, find the perpetrators, deliver justice, then report back.
Home Plane: Ethereal Plane.
Abilities:
Nirur: Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking, Righteous Fury,
Torir: Puppy Kicker, Evil Bastard
Both: Ethereal Denizen, Split Personality
Inventory: Variably Holy Longsword, Variably Holy Symbol Full Plate Armor, Enchanted Ring, 50 gp Scary Dagger

Spoiler: ggamer: Kap'n Hookaxe. CN-CG (click to show/hide)

Name: Jo'Ldza (Big Jo)
Species: Orc
Description: We'sn orcs may be deesa jerks, but we's still hassda jobs. I'mn A big ork. Got'sa bald head, with red eyes and wella build a'ms. I'sa been a kaptain for more dan' twenn'y yea's. I 'elp keep the balance wit' mah krew.
Profession: Kaptain of an orc sailing ship
Background: Grew up on a sailing boat with his brother, who was also a kaptain. inherited kaptain'ism and crew from his brother when he died.
Home Plane: Water Plane
Abilities: Sailor, Swashbuckler Water Plane Denizen, Dinghy Pilot
Inventory: Good Half-Rapier, Shirt, Pants, Magic Coin Necklace, Ring of Fireball, The ARRRRm, 85 gp

Spoiler: kisame, The INCOMPETENT! N, as far as I can tell. (click to show/hide)

Species: dwarf
Name: Azrael
Description: a short sturdy creature fond of drink and industry
Profession: blacksmith
Bio: got tired of digging and wants adventure
Home: earth plane

Abilities: Dwarven Smith, Drink and Industry, Earth Plane Denizen, Avatar of Rnasthoth
Inventory: -Copper Pick / Axe-, Leather clothes, Blacksmith's tools, Mining helmet

Allies:

Spoiler: Iali Boltcut. LN-LG (click to show/hide)

You kind of made his house into your flying machine, so he decided to tag along. He is now going all fangirl over Schilcote, who he sees as almost a demigod of mechanics.
Abilities: Master Mechanic, Old Man
Inventory: The entire contents of his house, which you made into a flying machine.

Spoiler: Kafired and Akituhub Warpshot. N-CN (click to show/hide)

You saved them from some pirates. Yay!
Abilities: Powder Monkeys, Kids, Air Plane Natives
Inventory:Clothes

Spoiler: PH-47/L3-W7 (click to show/hide)

Schilcote's Robobro.
Abilities: Unknown.

Vehicles:

Spoiler: Flying House "Emet" - The best house ever. Chaotic AWESOME. (click to show/hide)

The house part belongs to the gnome mechanic, the flying mechanism belongs to Schilcote, the fueling system was made by Riccto. It runs on air and can easily break the sound barrier. It will almost never break. Schilcote can planejump the ship, but will have -1 on all actions in the next turn.
First floor: Workshop, door outside, kitchen
Second Floor: Nirur's room (one cannon - left), Spare bedroom (one cannon - right), Engine room
Third floor: Spare bedroom, cockpit (two cannons - forward), Iali Boltcut's room, ladder to roof, Grav Cannon
Roof: Pouting TieflingAx's "room", Badass FlameTurret, Two swivelling cannons, Big Light
Special: Shield Projector, Air Generator, Energy Generator, Unbreakable drill, Mapquest Generator,

Spoiler: Magic Dinghy, "Da Masta' Exploda". N (click to show/hide)

Bought by Schilcote to keep Big Jo happy. Flies as fast as you can row it (with the orc alone? Pretty fast.), enchantment is permanent.

Vortices Found:             Stones Activated:
Plane of Death  √                    √
Abyss √
Plane of Water √                     √
Mechanus √
Celestia √                               √
Wizard's Tower √                    √
Generic Asian Dojo √

[Riccto]

Maintain Anti-Wizard Protocol.

[Schilcote]

HAmM0r

Wait, what's Fats doing?

[Nirur Torir]

You forgot to roll for control again.

[ggamer]

Introduce the man to AXEHAND.

If this is not safe enough, do whatever the tiefling did.

[choobakka]

@Nirur: Nirur keeps the control.

[Nirur Torir]

"Please, spare her. I'll do whatever you want."

Plead for the girl's life. If he kills her, disarm him.

[SeriousConcentrate]

Ax glared. "Why don't you suck my curly horns, scumbag?" he said, making a 'come on' gesture with his left hand. "You and all your thugs aren't scaring anybody but this wuss." He glanced at the slave, then drew his shiny new enchanted throwing dagger. Time to see this was worth the cash. "Besides, that knife you got is a complete piece of garbage. You should use... this one!" he said, flinging it side arm. Hopefully it would cut the guy's throat at it arced around; he wasn't really sure how the enchantment would make it fly yet, and this was as good a time as any to see.

@Ninja Nirur: Uh... you want me to change this? ^^; My action's pretty incompatible with that.

[Nirur Torir]

@Ninja Nirur: Uh... you want me to change this? ^^; My action's pretty incompatible with that.

Nah. I don't actually care if she dies, and this opens the way for amusement next turn if Torir takes control.

[SeriousConcentrate]

On the other hand it might also be !!FUN!! for Ax if Nirur retains control, too. ^^

[Nirur Torir]

Don't. Miss.

[choobakka]

Here's some advice: Don't let her die.    Fake people are people too. Well, not really, but still. I am an evil GM, don't forget. I could pull something like have you face an army composed of the ghosts of the innocents you killed/let die. And with Nirur's Lawful Literal attitude...

[SeriousConcentrate]

Hey, it's in YOUR hands now, choobakka. It's up to you whether or not that knife actually does its job.

[Schilcote]

My hands you mean, at least until Ch00 gets back.

I guess we're waiting for Kisame?