Or right now.
GODDAMMIT! try not to die and remove wall from pickaxe
You are upset at this pickaxe. It is annoying you greatly. So you pull at it again. (6) You heave it out, and it goes flying at the ninja, who just walked in the room. (dodge:5) He gets out of the way, and the pickaxe crashes into the wall, (damage:2) denting it slightly. The ninja looks on in astonishment. "Amazing... High Priest, you must see this!" A man in black robes walks in. "So, you are the
incompetent one? I must test you." He hold up a ball-and-cup game. "Now, let me see... This will test your true incompetence rating. Go ahead and play with it." You take it from him, and (4) get the ball in the cup easily. He looks at the ninja, then at you. "One more test, I suppose." He hands you a dagger, and pulls a target out of his robes. "Go on, attack this target." You go up to the target, and (6) stab it so forcefully that your arm gets stuck inside. Bugger. "You are... The incompetent one of battle!" He goes and helps you pull your arm out. (4) With both of you pulling, it comes out fairly easily. "Come with me, dwarf." He goes out into the tunnel.
A thousand curses on you, Rnarsthoth. I was supposed to be needed here!
"Err ... I'm ... uh ... I only needed to know the location of the stone. I'm going to go save the multiverse now. Please just leave me alone, and when I speak of this, I will claim to have been terrified by a mighty lich, who I only barely convinced to let me touch the stone of death to save everything and then leave, after several highly difficult tests. Good luck with that whole conquering thing."
Go through the maze.
You walk to the entrance of the maze, and look in. It's a series of twisty little passages, all alike. You enter, (6) and find your way to the center. Just like that. Wow. It seems that
Rnasthoth is occupied at the moment. There's the stone! And no guards! This is great! But there are also several chests and cabinets here... That might contain Phat Lewt... Or, knowing that the lich was a musician, fat lutes... (1 vs 6) It seems like Nirur isn't even trying. Torir easily wins the battle of wills.
Attempt to negotiate piece anyway.
You use your jets to fly out to the robot. It's about your size. It says "
Why have you done this to our people. You are a chaotic meddler. You are trying to destroy the balance stone. We are protecting the heroes. The heroes will activate the stone. They are there already." Uh-oh... "We are heroes. From Vortices in Air. Describe other 'heroes'. Give approximation of species, features, characteristics." You really know how to talk to the robots! "
We have not seen you correctly. You are lawful. So are other heroes. Others: One Dwarven male, golden armor. Claimed to be paladin of Moradin. One devil. Female-seeming. Lawful. Wizard. And one elf. Indeterminate gender. Member of a monastic order. The most perfect. True lawful." These guys seem alright... Might as well make sure.
Just kill him already.
Freaking flaming bug-dude! Why won't he die? You lash out at him with Sword. Again. (6+1) (dodge:6) You scratch him on his (BP:1) head, (damage:3+2-1) just cutting through the exoskeleton an stunning him. The you shoot him at point-blank range with SAM. (1) SAM explodes. Sending shrapnel flying everywhere. (dodge:1, 2) Both you and the monster are hit, but you are hit more badly, because you were holding on to SAM. (BP:5, 5) your upper right arm, the one you were holding SAM in, is hit, (damage:1+1) but it's only scratched. The monster is hit in the (BP:1) head (luck:2) with the axe blade, (damage:3+2) and is thrown back (luck:3) to the edge of the building. You are on top of a tower. And you've pretty much destroyed the top floor. So there's no walls left. That didn't stop being a thing. (1) The monster is too stunned to do anything at the moment.
Obviously, the tiefling knows this man.
"Ye not verre' 'andy with that om'ipo'ent powa' arrgh ya?"
"
I'm not omnipotent. I'm incompetent. Big difference. Now shut up, you green bastard." Look at the pot calling the kettle green! Gosh!
"Uh, yeah, sure. I'll do that when I see him at the party Sasquatch is throwing at a quarter after never just down the street there," Ax said, rolling his eyes. "It'll be great, I hear a Wendersnaven's going to show up and do a light show." He sighed and turned to the orc. "Here, I couldn't find anything I needed." The tiefling passed Jo a bag holding 160 GP. "I'll see what this asshole wants." With that he crossed his arms and gave the green guy a slow-burn kind of glare. "So who are you and what to do you want, anyway? We're kind of in the middle of something important and I only tolerated the last distraction 'cause she was hot, which, I dunno if you've looked in a mirror recently or not, but you just ain't. And you're a dude. So you got fifteen seconds." He checked an imaginary watch on his wrist. "Starting now."
You hand Jo a bag of cash, and turn to the demon. He glares at you and says, "
Look, that pet orc of yours attacked me. I was minding my own business. I really don't want to meet one of you people right now. So I'm going to leave you alone." He snaps his fingers, (5) and teleports away. That was odd. You should probably prepare for the Underdome now. Because you haven't even gotten to the boss fight.
Statuses:
Species: Mutant
Description: A "Being" That stands like a man, the size of a man, but covered with horrible burns and an alchemists robe
Profession: Alchemist/Mad Scientest
Background: He once was a man. Atleast he thinks so. But what he does remember is his knack for mixing up chemicals and herbs, always trying to find that perfect mix. But he has suffered his fair share of accidents in the lab
Home Plane: Astral Plane
Abilities:
Master Alchemist,
Mad Alchemist,
Astral Denizen,
Well-Read,
flightMutations:
Alchemical Immunities,
Four Arms,
Inventory:
Bottle Sling,
Good Chemistry Set,
Leather Robes,
Phial of enchanted gas,
Doctor's Bag, Plague Doctor Mask, Iron Dagger, 5 gp,
SAM, Infinity doses of
Wizard's Wallbanger, Mild Hallucinogen (10 doses),
SwordSpells:
Spined Hands,
Firebolt,
Thriller,
Name: Axolisin Sathael. He prefers being called Ax or Sin since he thinks it's awesome.
Species: Tiefling
Description: Short, pale, and skinny. He stands about 5'5 and 120 pounds. His hair and eyes are pure black and his pure white skin has light gray spots across it. His horns are goat-like. He spends a lot of time moping and figures since he's just so mistreated he can do whatever he wants.
Profession: Thief
Background: He's been kicked around his entire life as you might expect and resorted to thievery since Tieflings are branded as thieves and untrustworthy anyway. He's very small time and hasn't progressed much beyond mugging, purse stealing, pickpocketing, and robbing the poor.
Home Plane: Plane of Shadow
Inventory:
Steel Daggers,
Throwing Daggers,
Good Lockpicks,
Magic Ring,
Black Leather Armor,
Deadly Poison,
Self-propelled throwing discs, Thieves' Guild License, Ring of Invisibility, 150 gp
Abilities:
Burglar,
Good Eyes,
Denizen of Shadow,
Fancy Horns,
Trap MasterHealth: Fine
Species: Golem
Description: Created as a result of DRUNK THAUMATOLOGY!. Was intended to have humanlike personality and intellgence. Doesn't talk much, but isn't stupid. Has no goals of his own besides survival, goes around helping people with various things for lack of a better purpose. Will do anything asked of him unless he has a reason not to (if it conflicts with an existing goal or his basic morality). Lawful Good (as in lawful as the opposite of chaotic). Extremely logical and unemotional. Dislikes entropic behavior. Is good with machines (clockwork and a bit of early steam power, I guess).
When he does talk, it sounds something like the above paragraph.
Profession: None. See above. Requires no food and builds his own shelter, and has very little interest in material goods.
Background: See description.
Home Plane: Material Plane.
Inventory:
Lifeban,
Toolkit, 15 gp,
Magitek Manuals, Foot Jets (5 continuous turns/20 hops),
Sonar Cannon Guitar., Cool Shades
Abilities:
Pneumatic Joints,
Simple Personality,
Material Plane Denizen,
Oh Captain My Captain,
Armor PlatingHealth: Fine
This character brought to you thanks to the wonderful racial descriptions.
Species: Aasimar
Description: Lawful Neutral, almost Lawful Stupid. He firmly believes in the tenets of his faith, and is willing to die to uphold them. Was split into Nirur and Torir, god and evil respectively. A god of good put them back together, and they now are essentially one person with two minds.
Profession: Paladin.
Background: His people believe themselves to be the only true guardians of the material plane; the best way to help the mortal inhabitants of said plane is by not touching anything. Obviously this is what The Creator had in mind, and any who meddle in the plane, and therefore blaspheme The Creator, are to be punished severely.
After three decades of military service (doing nothing), he has been sent out as a sort of test to determine the extent of the planer distortion, fix it if possible, find the perpetrators, deliver justice, then report back.
Home Plane: Ethereal Plane.
Abilities:
Nirur:
Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking,
Righteous Fury,
Torir:
Puppy Kicker,
Evil BastardBoth:
Ethereal Denizen,
Split PersonalityInventory:
Variably Holy Longsword,
Variably Holy Symbol Full Plate Armor,
Enchanted Ring, 50 gp Scary Dagger
Name: Jo'Ldza (Big Jo)
Species: Orc
Description: We'sn orcs may be deesa jerks, but we's still hassda jobs. I'mn A big ork. Got'sa bald head, with red eyes and wella build a'ms. I'sa been a kaptain for more dan' twenn'y yea's. I 'elp keep the balance wit' mah krew.
Profession: Kaptain of an orc sailing ship
Background: Grew up on a sailing boat with his brother, who was also a kaptain. inherited kaptain'ism and crew from his brother when he died.
Home Plane: Water Plane
Abilities:
Sailor,
Swashbuckler Water Plane Denizen,
Dinghy Pilot, One-armed Man
Inventory:
Good Half-Rapier, Shirt, Pants,
Magic Coin Necklace, Ring of Fireball, 160 gp
Species: dwarf
Name: Azrael
Description: a short sturdy creature fond of drink and industry
Profession: blacksmith
Bio: got tired of digging and wants adventure
Home: earth plane
Abilities:
Dwarven Smith,
Drink and Industry,
Earth Plane DenizenInventory:
-Copper Pick / Axe-, Leather clothes, Blacksmith's tools, Mining helmet
Allies:
You kind of made his house into your flying machine, so he decided to tag along. He is now going all fangirl over Schilcote, who he sees as almost a demigod of mechanics.
Abilities:
Master Mechanic,
Old ManInventory: The entire contents of his house, which you made into a flying machine.
You saved them from some pirates. Yay!
Abilities:
Powder Monkeys,
Kids,
Air Plane NativesInventory:Clothes
A mindless cannon robot the size of a man. Has a shoulder-mounted badass cannon.
Abilities: Never runs out of gunpowder.
Inventory:
11 corrosive gas shells, 23 normal cannonballs
Vehicles:
The house part belongs to the gnome mechanic, the flying mechanism belongs to Schilcote, the fueling system was made by Riccto. It runs on air and can easily break the sound barrier. It will almost never break. Schilcote can planejump the ship, but will have -1 on all actions in the next turn.
First floor: Workshop, door outside, kitchen
Second Floor: Nirur's room (one cannon - left), Spare bedroom (one cannon - right), Engine room
Third floor: Spare bedroom, cockpit (two cannons - forward), Iali Boltcut's room, ladder to roof, Grav Cannon
Roof:
Pouting TieflingAx's "room",
Badass FlameTurret, Two swivelling cannons, Big Light
Special:
Shield Projector,
Air Generator,
Energy Generator,
Unbreakable drill, Mapquest Generator,
Bought by Schilcote to keep Big Jo happy. Flies as fast as you can row it (with the orc alone? Pretty fast.), enchantment is permanent.
Vortices Found: Stones Activated:
Plane of Death √
Abyss √
Plane of Water √ √
Mechanus √
Celestia √ √
Wizard's Tower √
Generic Asian Dojo √
Author
Topic: RTPJ: Tis belongs to Schil now. Have fun. (Read 89485 times)