This lich used to be a bard. He gets his power from music.
"And you're just now telling me this?"
I'm certainly not going to make stealing my body easy for you. I'd rather you not damage it fighting elephants, though.
Smash the speaker.
You look around for the source of the music. (6) And find it embedded in the mouth of a creepily smiling clown statue. Clobbering time. (4) You smash the speaker, and that infernal music stops. The elephants are still moving... (6) And then they fall apart. The source of these abominations' animating force appears to be the music. Good to know. You walk behind the curtain that the elephants came through, and into an even bigger tent-like structure. That would not fit inside that castle. You must have been transported underground while you were in the first room. The music is louder in here, and you see more speakers than you could break, all out of your reach. The lich's voice crackles from the loudspeaker, "Hm... Having just the one speaker in there was a mistake, wasn't it hero? I'm sure you'll like your new friend..." A door with "FREAKSHOW" over it opens up, and a monstrous undead thing shambles out. It's about ten feet tall, and has seven arms, each with a different circusy weapon (including: balloon sword, whip, huge barbell, throwing knives, squeaky horn, baton, and a bubble gun), which all emit an aura of magic. It has three heads, one with a jester's hat and makeup, one with a top hat, and one with a big curly mustache. "I tired of employing SO many carnies, so I just combined them all into one! Isn't that exciting! You kids have fun now!" The music increases in volume as the monster comes towards you.
MINIBOSS! (5 vs 6) Torir makes a strong effort, and takes over the body. (I swear, if you end up controlling this thing...)
"Kraken seduction?" Ax buried his face in his hands and shook his head. I'm really going to have to be stealthy, I'm sure as hell not going to let anyone catch me carrying anything intended for sleeping with frickin' tentacle beasts... and not in the cement shoes kind of way. He sighed, stretched, and looked around for the FrobozzCo building. It was probably pretty tall judging from the fact Naktinna said the earrings were in a safe on the top floor, so it probably wouldn't be too hard to find.
Hmm, what to do when I get there, though? He needed a plan of attack. I could just try climbing the outside of the building, although anyone could easily see me doing that... I guess I'll think more about it when I get there. He would definitely look for a fire escape or something similar, anyway.
Where could FrobozzCo be? (6) Maybe it's this big building with the sign saying FrobozzCo! You walk around back to look for a ladder or something. (4) There's a fire escape that looks like it goes about 3/4 of the way up the building, but it's pretty rickety.
Swing around, kick the fuck out of those zombies, enter the fore door.
You try to stand up and take out those zombies, (1) but you fall on your face like an idiot. (2) An unconscious idiot. You knock yourself out, and wake up strapped to the bottom of a wooden ship, with water streaming by you. You're being keelhauled. Great. At least you can breathe underwater. You get dragged up the side of the ship, and a pair of skeletons haul you on deck. Still underwater, by the way. You love the Plane of Water. The skeletons tie you to the mast, and a man in
very fancy pirate gear comes out of the ship's cabin. He looks up, and you recognize him as the pirate lich that attacked you in the Air Plane. He grins, and says "Didja know that ye' need to destroy a lich's phylactery in order to kill him dead? And my phylactery is kept
veeeery safe by my crew here." He gestures to some zombies. "Throw 'im in the brig." The zombies untie you and take you to be locked up in a cell. You see your stuff on a table in the hold as you go by.You get thrown into a cell (all still underwater) and left with no company but the ratfish.
Oooh. Swords. Take a Sword, Take a book, Knowledge......"
You reach up and grab the most badass looking sword there. It feels... Real, like it has no respect for magic. You like this sword. You decide to name it Sword. You also grab one of the wizard's books. (4) It has a spell of firebolt in there! You can shoot fire from your hands! FUN! You hear some buzzing from the top of the stars. Maybe more of those bugs.
Roll out of the way at the last second so they run into eachother.
The two vampires come charging at you. (6) Yu jump up right as they stab at you, and they impale each other. They burst into flame, and disappear. You just took out a room full of vampires with your bare hands. The room you are in appears to be a small chapel dedicated to Smakkim, the
neutral god of fisticuffs. That explains why the vampires weren't affected - being ninjas, they would have been worshippers of this god. You look around for any loot the vampires might have dropped. It seems that all of their stuff was burned when they died. Oh well.
HAMMERTIME
You ignore your injuries, and charge at the monsters, ready to ban some life! (4+1) You swing Lifeban in a horizontal arc, to get both of the monsters. (dodge:3, 3) Lifeban strikes true! You samck the monsters, one after the other! (damage:2+2, 6+2) You hit one solidly, and the other explodes. Literally, explodes. You are covered in Slaad guts, and the one who wasn't quite dead was killed in the blast. Fun. You should probably rest now.
Statuses:
Species: Mutant
Description: A "Being" That stands like a man, the size of a man, but covered with horrible burns and an alchemists robe
Profession: Alchemist/Mad Scientest
Background: He once was a man. Atleast he thinks so. But what he does remember is his knack for mixing up chemicals and herbs, always trying to find that perfect mix. But he has suffered his fair share of accidents in the lab
Home Plane: Astral Plane
Abilities:
Master Alchemist,
Mad Alchemist,
Astral Denizen,
Well-ReadMutations:
Alchemical Immunities,
Four Arms,
Inventory:
Bottle Sling,
Good Chemistry Set,
Leather Robes,
Phial of enchanted gas,
Doctor's Bag, Plague Doctor Mask, Iron Dagger, 5 gp,
SAM, Infinity doses of
Wizard's Wallbanger, Mild Hallucinogen (10 doses),
SwordSpells:
Spined Hands,
FireboltName: Axolisin Sathael. He prefers being called Ax or Sin since he thinks it's awesome.
Species: Tiefling
Description: Short, pale, and skinny. He stands about 5'5 and 120 pounds. His hair and eyes are pure black and his pure white skin has light gray spots across it. His horns are goat-like. He spends a lot of time moping and figures since he's just so mistreated he can do whatever he wants.
Profession: Thief
Background: He's been kicked around his entire life as you might expect and resorted to thievery since Tieflings are branded as thieves and untrustworthy anyway. He's very small time and hasn't progressed much beyond mugging, purse stealing, pickpocketing, and robbing the poor.
Home Plane: Plane of Shadow
Inventory:
Steel Daggers,
Throwing Daggers,
Good Lockpicks,
Black Leather Armor,
Magic Ring, 75 gp
Abilities:
Burglar,
Good Eyes,
Denizen of Shadow,
Fancy Horns,
Trap MasterHealth: Fine
Species: Golem
Description: Created as a result of DRUNK THAUMATOLOGY!. Was intended to have humanlike personality and intellgence. Doesn't talk much, but isn't stupid. Has no goals of his own besides survival, goes around helping people with various things for lack of a better purpose. Will do anything asked of him unless he has a reason not to (if it conflicts with an existing goal or his basic morality). Lawful Good (as in lawful as the opposite of chaotic). Extremely logical and unemotional. Dislikes entropic behavior. Is good with machines (clockwork and a bit of early steam power, I guess).
When he does talk, it sounds something like the above paragraph.
Profession: None. See above. Requires no food and builds his own shelter, and has very little interest in material goods.
Background: See description.
Home Plane: Material Plane.
Inventory:
Lifeban,
Toolkit, 15 gp,
Magitek Manuals, Foot Jets (5 continuous turns/20 hops)
Abilities:
Pneumatic Joints,
Simple Personality,
Material Plane Denizen,
Oh Captain My Captain,
Health: Fine
Species: Mutant
Description: An ugly looking mutant who hates most people. Permanantly disguised as a beautiful woman.
Profession: A guard to a local inn.
Background: Created in a magic experiment gone wrong, he escaped and decided to live his live in a nearby city.
Home Plane: Material Plane
Mutations:
Rhinocerous Skin,
Claw HandsAbilities:
Alcoholism,
Brawler,
Material Plane Denizen,
Curse of BeautyInventory:
Half-Brick in a Sock, 3 Empty Beer Bottles,
Gloves,
Dress Cursed Brass Knuckles,
Bionic ArmsThis character brought to you thanks to the wonderful racial descriptions.
Species: Aasimar
Description: Lawful Neutral, almost Lawful Stupid. He firmly believes in the tenets of his faith, and is willing to die to uphold them. Was split into Nirur and Torir, god and evil respectively. A god of good put them back together, and they now are essentially one person with two minds.
Profession: Paladin.
Background: His people believe themselves to be the only true guardians of the material plane; the best way to help the mortal inhabitants of said plane is by not touching anything. Obviously this is what The Creator had in mind, and any who meddle in the plane, and therefore blaspheme The Creator, are to be punished severely.
After three decades of military service (doing nothing), he has been sent out as a sort of test to determine the extent of the planer distortion, fix it if possible, find the perpetrators, deliver justice, then report back.
Home Plane: Ethereal Plane.
Abilities:
Nirur:
Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking,
Righteous Fury,
Torir:
Puppy Kicker,
Evil BastardBoth:
Ethereal Denizen,
Split PersonalityInventory:
Variably Holy Longsword,
Variably Holy Symbol Full Plate Armor,
Enchanted Ring, 50 gp Scary Dagger
Name: Jo'Ldza (Big Jo)
Species: Orc
Description: We'sn orcs may be deesa jerks, but we's still hassda jobs. I'mn A big ork. Got'sa bald head, with red eyes and wella build a'ms. I'sa been a kaptain for more dan' twenn'y yea's. I 'elp keep the balance wit' mah krew.
Profession: Kaptain of an orc sailing ship
Background: Grew up on a sailing boat with his brother, who was also a kaptain. inherited kaptain'ism and crew from his brother when he died.
Home Plane: Water Plane
Abilities:
Sailor,
Swashbuckler Water Plane Denizen,
Dinghy PilotInventory (All in the pirate ship's hold except for the shirt and pants):
Good Rapier,
Grappling Hook,
Pirate Outfit,
Magic Coin Necklace,
Paralyzing Poison (3 uses), Hand Cannon (no powder), 20 gp
Allies:
You kind of made his house into your flying machine, so he decided to tag along. He is now going all fangirl over Schilcote, who he sees as almost a demigod of mechanics.
Abilities:
Master Mechanic,
Old ManInventory: The entire contents of his house, which you made into a flying machine.
You saved them from some pirates. Yay!
Abilities:
Powder Monkeys,
Kids,
Air Plane NativesInventory:Clothes
A mindless cannon robot the size of a man. Has a shoulder-mounted badass cannon.
Abilities: Never runs out of gunpowder.
Inventory:
12 corrosive gas shells, 25 normal cannonballs
Vehicles:
The house part belongs to the gnome mechanic, the flying mechanism belongs to Schilcote, the fueling system was made by Riccto. It runs on air and can easily break the sound barrier. It will almost never break. Schilcote can planejump the ship, but will have -1 on all actions in the next turn.
First floor: Workshop, door outside, kitchen
Second Floor: Nirur's room (one cannon - left), Spare bedroom (one cannon - right), Engine room
Third floor: Spare bedroom, cockpit (two cannons - forward), Iali Boltcut's room, ladder to roof
Roof:
Pouting TieflingAx's "room",
Badass FlameTurret, Two swivelling cannons
Bought by Schilcote to keep Big Jo happy. Flies as fast as you can row it (with the orc alone? Pretty fast.), enchantment is permanent.
Vortices Found: Stones Activated:
Plane of Death √
Abyss √
Plane of Water √
Mechanus √
Celestia √ √
Wizard's Tower √
Generic Asian Dojo √