Attempt to destroy all dummies with a spin attack
Time to break some heads! (4+1+1) (dodge:6+1, 1+1, 6+1, 3+1) You deliver a crushing blow to two of the dummies, (BP:3, 6) in the stomach of one and the neck of the other. (damage:5+2, 6+2) They both are destroyed. The other two leap at you with identical spin kicks! (4+1, 2+1) (dodge:5) You get out of the way, (2) and the dummies crash into each other! (damage:5, 3) one of them is destroyed, (5+1) (dodge:4+1) (damage:4+2) and you destroy the other. A glowing image of an old man with a wispy beard appears. He says, "You have beaten my warriors. You are now worthy of passing through to the Dojo of Balance in the Generic Asian Continent. Please, if the world is not in peril, don't go through." The illusion fades away, and an arch with a gong in it that you didn't notice begins to glow. The gong sounds, and vanishes, replaced with a hole in the world. You can see some cherry trees.
I thought the riddle was for the phrase to open the portal. (I knew the book, even without extra hints.)
Nirur gets someone to help him find the book about Gandalf forcing a hobbit to get a class change to Burglar and go on a quest.
Torir decides that maybe he's not quite ready, and asks around at the party, hoping to get advice and/or items to help with the lich.
(1) You have angered... The LIBRARIAN! A large creature with many, many tentacles and a human head approaches. It says, "Really, must you keep making such a racket in the library? Please, keep it down." You pass out in terror. When you wake up, a young man is standing next to you. You look up and see the face of the beast. He says, "Please, calm down. I'm a shapeshifter, and those tentacles help me file the books more easily." He says, "Now, there was a book you were looking for?"
(5+1) Torir is really popular, and several history teachers tell you about the lich king. He was a famous elven musician, almost a millennium ago. He had a human wife, whom he loved more than anything, and when she died of old age when he was still in his relative 40s, he couldn't stand it. He studied for days, using tons of successful Bardic Knowledge checks, and finally found a way to resurrect someone as a younger person. Using necromancy. He went to his wife's grave and brought her back at a young age, but when she saw what he had done to get her back (it's not a very nice ritual), she killed herself. He was so depressed by this that he brought her back as an undead servant, and eventually raised a whole army to take over the world. He was banished to the Plane of Death by a band of meddling heroes, and eventually took over the whole plane. He really wants a way to get back to the material plane. Beware his creepy organ music and his terrible monsters. Sounds like a nice guy, right?
High-Five SAM. No wait. Thats dumb. Do wicked sick Alchemy. Like Potions and that awesome stuff.
Time to find an alchemy lab, instead of looking for the portal to that wizard's tower! (6) This is one damn fine lab. It has all of those spinny things, and tubes, and wires, and chemicals... +1 to alchemy, -1 to sanity. (2+1+1) You're not winning any medals for this potion... (sanity:2-1) *cue evil laugh*
(Now is time for a short digression on how the alchemy system works. Instead of power, size, usefulness, and efficiency (and sometimes intelligence), the alchemy system will now use Power, Amount (how many doses you make), Side effects (or good effects for poisons), and dose size. No intelligence, even when you fail a sanity check like you just did.) You find a note taped underneath a lab bench. It says, in annoyingly terrible handwriting,
Wizard's Wallbreaker. Requires two ccs of newt bile, all of the blood in a field mouse (3 oz), half a bottle of Wow Wow sauce, three cups of vodka, and a dash of salt. You really aren't sure if this is an explosive or a cocktail. Might as well make it anyway! (power:5) It appears to be both. As a potion, it reduces damage done to you by 1, and allows you to breathe fire, and as an explosive it acts like napalm. So don't get it near fire. (amount:6) You made a full carboy (really big bottle - 16 gallons) of this stuff. Amazing. (side effects:4) It has very minor side effects, just -1 to mental actions. (dosage:6) And you need to drink a pint of it before the effects kick in. You now have 128 doses of this stuff. So, enough. You decide to pour a dose into a heavily reinforced mug you found laying about. The mug starts glowing. A voice booms through the room, "I am the Great Wizard Something Starting With X. You have made my favorite drink, and poured it into the Neverending Mug. The mug will give you as much of the drink as you want. Please throw the rest of it at the big X on the wall and run." Better listen to the man. You grab the infinite mug, chuck the carboy at the wall, and flee. You hear a loud explosion, and when you walk back in you see a gaping hole in the wall with a glowing portal behind it, marked "To My Tower. Don't Enter Unless World Is In Peril." Convenient, right?
"wel', I'n da; lost.
Jo looks down the hallway, and without reason, begins singing a folksong from the water plane
(3) You start to sing, and hear a voice join in from behind a door. A water elemental walks out, and says, "It's nice to see another native of the Water Plane. Everyone here is from Air or the Astral... You're part of the party of adventurers who's trying to save the world, right? Because there's this ring of coral in my pool that started to glow when I was teaching some students about Ssirrallllipp the Merman bard. It was when I sang his "Ballad of the Kraken" that I noticed it. Could you take a look?" It leads you into its room, and you jump in the pool and swim to the bottom. There's a glowing portal in the middle of the coral ring. cool.
Ax frowned at the door. Hmm. Wonder what went wrong there... must be these damn cheap-ass lockpicks. I should've looked for some better ones back in town. He sighed, cursed himself for his stupidity, and examined the door. Maybe later I can ask Riccto to make some kind of skeleton key or something. Let's see. Are the hinges on this side or am I going to have to kick it down? All he had to do, assuming he could get to the hinges, was knock the pins loose and pull the door out of place. Once he was done he could slide it back in, replace the pins, and walk away with none the wiser. Otherwise, this was going to get loud... but if confronted, he could always say he needed it to save the world.
Ax snorted in derision. Yeah, maybe they'd buy that from Nirur.
Of Discworld, I tend to prefer the Sam Vimes stories myself.
Also, coincidentally come across Ax and discreetly push the door down.
Schilcote comes by and (5) knocks down the door. You go in and see the locked desk of the head of the mechanics department. (4+1) You pick the lock easily, and grab the journal. You take it back to the succubus, who says, "
Thanks, kid. The portal to the abyss is the huge mirror in the hallway near the main stage. The password is 'Macbeth'. It's a good password, since nobody would ever say it there, right?" You go to the theater and, after making sure that there are no actors nearby, whisper "Macbeth" into the mirror. Your reflection grins, and walks over to a door that is, after you look closely, only present on the other side of the mirror. He opens it, and a portal opens in the wall behind you. You see a firey pit through it.
So the Overfiend is dead? If not, continue banning life.
If it is, purchase the Orange Box so I can find the Portal.
Hmm... If you were some fancy mechanic dude, how would you lock a portal? (3+1) By making someone put together the robot whose plans are on the table of course! You make the robot, and it slots itself into the side of the portal. After a lot of clicking and clanking, the gate glows and you see a large chunk of machinery on the other side. Victory!
Statuses:
Species: Mutant
Description: A "Being" That stands like a man, the size of a man, but covered with horrible burns and an alchemists robe
Profession: Alchemist/Mad Scientest
Background: He once was a man. Atleast he thinks so. But what he does remember is his knack for mixing up chemicals and herbs, always trying to find that perfect mix. But he has suffered his fair share of accidents in the lab
Home Plane: Astral Plane
Abilities:
Master Alchemist,
Mad Alchemist,
Astral Denizen,
Well-ReadMutations:
Alchemical Immunities,
Four Arms,
Inventory:
Bottle Sling,
Good Chemistry Set,
Leather Robes,
Phial of enchanted gas,
Doctor's Bag, Plague Doctor Mask, Iron Dagger, 5 gp,
SAM Infinity doses of
Wizard's WallbangerSpells:
Spined Hands,
Name: Axolisin Sathael. He prefers being called Ax or Sin since he thinks it's awesome.
Species: Tiefling
Description: Short, pale, and skinny. He stands about 5'5 and 120 pounds. His hair and eyes are pure black and his pure white skin has light gray spots across it. His horns are goat-like. He spends a lot of time moping and figures since he's just so mistreated he can do whatever he wants.
Profession: Thief
Background: He's been kicked around his entire life as you might expect and resorted to thievery since Tieflings are branded as thieves and untrustworthy anyway. He's very small time and hasn't progressed much beyond mugging, purse stealing, pickpocketing, and robbing the poor.
Home Plane: Plane of Shadow
Inventory:
Steel Daggers,
Throwing Daggers,
Cheap Lockpicks,
Black Leather Armor,
Magic Ring, 150 gp
Abilities:
Burglar,
Good Eyes,
Denizen of Shadow,
Fancy Horns,
Trap MasterHealth: Fine
Species: Golem
Description: Created as a result of DRUNK THAUMATOLOGY!. Was intended to have humanlike personality and intellgence. Doesn't talk much, but isn't stupid. Has no goals of his own besides survival, goes around helping people with various things for lack of a better purpose. Will do anything asked of him unless he has a reason not to (if it conflicts with an existing goal or his basic morality). Lawful Good (as in lawful as the opposite of chaotic). Extremely logical and unemotional. Dislikes entropic behavior. Is good with machines (clockwork and a bit of early steam power, I guess).
When he does talk, it sounds something like the above paragraph.
Profession: None. See above. Requires no food and builds his own shelter, and has very little interest in material goods.
Background: See description.
Home Plane: Material Plane.
Inventory:
Lifebane,
Toolkit, 15 gp,
Magitek ManualsAbilities:
Pneumatic Joints,
Simple Personality,
Material Plane Denizen,
Oh Captain My Captain,
Cannon RemoteHealth: Fine
Species: Mutant
Description: An ugly looking mutant who hates most people. Permanantly disguised as a beautiful woman.
Profession: A guard to a local inn.
Background: Created in a magic experiment gone wrong, he escaped and decided to live his live in a nearby city.
Home Plane: Material Plane
Mutations:
Rhinocerous Skin,
Claw HandsAbilities:
Alcoholism,
Brawler,
Material Plane Denizen,
Curse of BeautyInventory:
Half-Brick in a Sock, 3 Empty Beer Bottles,
Gloves,
Dress Cursed Brass Knuckles,
Bionic ArmsThis character brought to you thanks to the wonderful racial descriptions.
Species: Aasimar
Description: Lawful Neutral, almost Lawful Stupid. He firmly believes in the tenets of his faith, and is willing to die to uphold them. Now split into Nirur and Torir, god and evil respectively.
Profession: Paladin.
Background: His people believe themselves to be the only true guardians of the material plane; the best way to help the mortal inhabitants of said plane is by not touching anything. Obviously this is what The Creator had in mind, and any who meddle in the plane, and therefore blaspheme The Creator, are to be punished severely.
After three decades of military service (doing nothing), he has been sent out as a sort of test to determine the extent of the planer distortion, fix it if possible, find the perpetrators, deliver justice, then report back.
Home Plane: Ethereal Plane.
Abilities:
Nirur:
Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking,
Righteous Fury,
Ethereal Denizen,
Avatar of ImhoTorir:
Puppy Kicker,
Evil Bastard,
Avatar of RnasthothInventory:
Nirur:
Holy Longsword,
Holy Symbol,
Full Plate Armor,
Enchanted Ring, 50 gp
Torir:
Evil Longsword,
Evil Talisman,
Full Plate Armor, Scary Dagger
Name: Jo'Ldza (Big Jo)
Species: Orc
Description: We'sn orcs may be deesa jerks, but we's still hassda jobs. I'mn A big ork. Got'sa bald head, with red eyes and wella build a'ms. I'sa been a kaptain for more dan' twenn'y yea's. I 'elp keep the balance wit' mah krew.
Profession: Kaptain of an orc sailing ship
Background: Grew up on a sailing boat with his brother, who was also a kaptain. inherited kaptain'ism and crew from his brother when he died.
Home Plane: Water Plane
Abilities:
Sailor,
Swashbuckler Water Plane Denizen,
Dinghy PilotInventory:
Good Rapier,
Grappling Hook,
Pirate Outfit,
Magic Coin Necklace,
Paralyzing Poison (3 uses), 20 gp
Allies:
You kind of made his house into your flying machine, so he decided to tag along. He is now going all fangirl over Schilcote, who he sees as almost a demigod of mechanics.
Abilities:
Master Mechanic,
Old ManInventory: The entire contents of his house, which you made into a flying machine.
You saved them from some pirates. Yay!
Abilities:
Powder Monkeys,
Kids,
Air Plane NativesInventory:Clothes
A mindless cannon robot the size of a man. Has a shoulder-mounted badass cannon.
Abilities: Never runs out of gunpowder.
Inventory:
12 corrosive gas shellsVehicles:
The house part belongs to the gnome mechanic, the flying mechanism belongs to Schilcote, the fueling system was made by Riccto. It runs on air and can easily break the sound barrier. It will almost never break. Schilcote can planejump the ship, but will have -1 on all actions in the next turn.
First floor: Workshop, door outside, kitchen
Second Floor: Nirur's room (one cannon - left), Spare bedroom (one cannon - right), Engine room
Third floor: Spare bedroom, cockpit (two cannons - forward), Iali Boltcut's room, ladder to roof
Roof:
Pouting TieflingAx's "room",
Badass FlameTurret, Two swivelling cannons
Bought by Schilcote to keep Big Jo happy. Flies as fast as you can row it (with the orc alone? Pretty fast.), enchantment is permanent.
Vortices Found:
Plane of Death √
Abyss
Plane of Water
Mechanus
Celestia
Wizard's Tower
Generic Asian Dojo