Poo. So I'm just armed with the dagger now?
Re arm myself with something wicked awesome.
Something wicked awesome? Time to build. (6+1+1) Bonuses! Bonuses everywhere! (sanity:2-1) They called you MAD! MAD! AND THEY WERE RIGHT! You build an awesome weapon. So awesome that you don't know what it is. (power:3+1) This weapon is a pretty good weapon. It'll give you a +1 to damage. (size:2) And it's a one-handed weapon of some kind. (usefulness:3+1) It'll rarely break, and that's good in any kind of weapon. (efficiency:4+1) If it uses fuel, you won't need to refuel it. (intelligence:5) And it's as smart as you. That's odd. You weren't planning on it being intelligent. Huh. It can also be used for both ranged and close combat. You decide to name it
SAM. SAM says, "Hello master. How are you. What would you like me to kill for you today?"
Attack the dummies with my claws!
Crazy dress-wearing transsexual cyborg mutant powers ACTIVATE! (2+1) (dodge:2+1) You smack two dummies with your organic hands, (BP:5, 3) one in the stomach and one in the right arm. (damage:6+1+1, 3+1+1) You tear the arm off one, and the other explodes in a puff of dust. (4+1) You use your robo-arms to swipe at four that snuck up behind you, (dodge:6+1, 5+1, 4+1, 4+1) but they all dodge. One of them leaps over your arms and comes flying at you, (2+1) (dodge:4) but you move to the side and it lands gracefully where you were.
But I don't know which title to use when giving my answer! Is it the story within the story, or is it the story itself? What if I roll a {3} and only have time for one answer?
Nirur begins searching for Atenniab Lakedream's other book. Systematically.
Torir organizes his own party, in the statue garden. Even if he ends up alone and chatting to statues, he will have his party, and people will come eventually.
You know, you were supposed to give the name of the book, but since SeriousConcentrate got it I'll give it to you. You begin to search for a book you read once, called "The Hobbit, or There and Back Again." (1) And you get lost in the library. Damnation!
Party time! (4) You gather a group of students and organize a party in the statue garden! (5) Everybody loves the party! You now have a +1 to diplomacy with anyone in the school!
Ring-Thief is a pretty big hint, although I would've known it from Barrel-Rider. :3
"Can I get something else if I come back with more?" Ax asked impishly. "Cause I can get my hands on some gold, no problem. Ah, anyway, back in a few minutes babe." He left to go find the mechanics wing. No problem there, he just had to ask the next scholar he saw where the golem went. Once he was in the mechanics wing it should be an easy task to locate the correct office. Amusing her. Feh. There's a lot of ways to amuse a girl. Give me half a chance... he thought, muttering as he looked around.
(3) Ha! There's the office! Behind those obvious deathtraps, and the other ones no doubt hidden in nasty places... Hmmm... Disarming time! (6+1) Like a disarming ninja, you defuse every single one of the traps. You now are a trap-master, and can set traps easily! Now to pick the lock... (1+1) Or not. You seem to have broken it. There is no way that door is coming open.
Since I, as a golem, have no interest in seeing the results of tentacle monsters and teenage schoolgirls being in close proximity...
The tentacle monster is living. Have Lifebane change that. Then continue searching.
SCHILCOTE SMASH! (2) (dodge:3) The monstrosity sidesteps your attack, and lashes out with a tentacle! (4) (dodge:6) How does a large hunk of metal leap over a tentacle? It's FLYING HAMMERTIME! +1 to damage! (6) (dodge:5) You come crashing down on the monster's (BP:Ah, screw it) body! (damage:5+3) Boom. You bash a hole in the floor. Through which you see an extremely complex ring of clockwork. Cool.
(AI:2) Do absolutely nothing.
Yay! Slacking!
Statuses:
Species: Mutant
Description: A "Being" That stands like a man, the size of a man, but covered with horrible burns and an alchemists robe
Profession: Alchemist/Mad Scientest
Background: He once was a man. Atleast he thinks so. But what he does remember is his knack for mixing up chemicals and herbs, always trying to find that perfect mix. But he has suffered his fair share of accidents in the lab
Home Plane: Astral Plane
Abilities:
Master Alchemist,
Mad Alchemist,
Astral Denizen,
Well-ReadMutations:
Alchemical Immunities,
Four Arms,
Inventory:
Bottle Sling,
Good Chemistry Set,
Leather Robes,
Phial of enchanted gas,
Doctor's Bag, Plague Doctor Mask, Iron Dagger, 5 gp
Spells:
Spined Hands,
SAMName: Axolisin Sathael. He prefers being called Ax or Sin since he thinks it's awesome.
Species: Tiefling
Description: Short, pale, and skinny. He stands about 5'5 and 120 pounds. His hair and eyes are pure black and his pure white skin has light gray spots across it. His horns are goat-like. He spends a lot of time moping and figures since he's just so mistreated he can do whatever he wants.
Profession: Thief
Background: He's been kicked around his entire life as you might expect and resorted to thievery since Tieflings are branded as thieves and untrustworthy anyway. He's very small time and hasn't progressed much beyond mugging, purse stealing, pickpocketing, and robbing the poor.
Home Plane: Plane of Shadow
Inventory:
Steel Daggers,
Throwing Daggers,
Cheap Lockpicks,
Black Leather Armor,
Magic Ring, 150 gp
Abilities:
Burglar,
Good Eyes,
Denizen of Shadow,
Fancy Horns,
Trap MasterHealth: Fine
Species: Golem
Description: Created as a result of DRUNK THAUMATOLOGY!. Was intended to have humanlike personality and intellgence. Doesn't talk much, but isn't stupid. Has no goals of his own besides survival, goes around helping people with various things for lack of a better purpose. Will do anything asked of him unless he has a reason not to (if it conflicts with an existing goal or his basic morality). Lawful Good (as in lawful as the opposite of chaotic). Extremely logical and unemotional. Dislikes entropic behavior. Is good with machines (clockwork and a bit of early steam power, I guess).
When he does talk, it sounds something like the above paragraph.
Profession: None. See above. Requires no food and builds his own shelter, and has very little interest in material goods.
Background: See description.
Home Plane: Material Plane.
Inventory:
Lifebane,
Toolkit, 15 gp,
Magitek ManualsAbilities:
Pneumatic Joints,
Simple Personality,
Material Plane Denizen,
Oh Captain My Captain,
Cannon RemoteHealth: Fine
Species: Mutant
Description: An ugly looking mutant who hates most people. Permanantly disguised as a beautiful woman.
Profession: A guard to a local inn.
Background: Created in a magic experiment gone wrong, he escaped and decided to live his live in a nearby city.
Home Plane: Material Plane
Mutations:
Rhinocerous Skin,
Claw HandsAbilities:
Alcoholism,
Brawler,
Material Plane Denizen,
Curse of BeautyInventory:
Half-Brick in a Sock, 3 Empty Beer Bottles,
Gloves,
Dress Cursed Brass Knuckles,
Bionic ArmsThis character brought to you thanks to the wonderful racial descriptions.
Species: Aasimar
Description: Lawful Neutral, almost Lawful Stupid. He firmly believes in the tenets of his faith, and is willing to die to uphold them. Now split into Nirur and Torir, god and evil respectively.
Profession: Paladin.
Background: His people believe themselves to be the only true guardians of the material plane; the best way to help the mortal inhabitants of said plane is by not touching anything. Obviously this is what The Creator had in mind, and any who meddle in the plane, and therefore blaspheme The Creator, are to be punished severely.
After three decades of military service (doing nothing), he has been sent out as a sort of test to determine the extent of the planer distortion, fix it if possible, find the perpetrators, deliver justice, then report back.
Home Plane: Ethereal Plane.
Abilities:
Nirur:
Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking,
Righteous Fury,
Ethereal Denizen,
Avatar of ImhoTorir:
Puppy Kicker,
Evil Bastard,
Avatar of RnasthothInventory:
Nirur:
Holy Longsword,
Holy Symbol,
Full Plate Armor,
Enchanted Ring, 50 gp
Torir:
Evil Longsword,
Evil Talisman,
Full Plate Armor, Scary Dagger
Name: Jo'Ldza (Big Jo)
Species: Orc
Description: We'sn orcs may be deesa jerks, but we's still hassda jobs. I'mn A big ork. Got'sa bald head, with red eyes and wella build a'ms. I'sa been a kaptain for more dan' twenn'y yea's. I 'elp keep the balance wit' mah krew.
Profession: Kaptain of an orc sailing ship
Background: Grew up on a sailing boat with his brother, who was also a kaptain. inherited kaptain'ism and crew from his brother when he died.
Home Plane: Water Plane
Abilities:
Sailor,
Swashbuckler Water Plane Denizen,
Dinghy PilotInventory:
Good Rapier,
Grappling Hook,
Pirate Outfit,
Magic Coin Necklace,
Paralyzing Poison (3 uses), 20 gp
Allies:
You kind of made his house into your flying machine, so he decided to tag along. He is now going all fangirl over Schilcote, who he sees as almost a demigod of mechanics.
Abilities:
Master Mechanic,
Old ManInventory: The entire contents of his house, which you made into a flying machine.
You saved them from some pirates. Yay!
Abilities:
Powder Monkeys,
Kids,
Air Plane NativesInventory:Clothes
A mindless cannon robot the size of a man. Has a shoulder-mounted badass cannon.
Abilities: Never runs out of gunpowder.
Inventory:
12 corrosive gas shellsVehicles:
The house part belongs to the gnome mechanic, the flying mechanism belongs to Schilcote, the fueling system was made by Riccto. It runs on air and can easily break the sound barrier. It will almost never break. Schilcote can planejump the ship, but will have -1 on all actions in the next turn.
First floor: Workshop, door outside, kitchen
Second Floor: Nirur's room (one cannon - left), Spare bedroom (one cannon - right), Engine room
Third floor: Spare bedroom, cockpit (two cannons - forward), Iali Boltcut's room, ladder to roof
Roof:
Pouting TieflingAx's "room",
Badass FlameTurret, Two swivelling cannons
Bought by Schilcote to keep Big Jo happy. Flies as fast as you can row it (with the orc alone? Pretty fast.), enchantment is permanent.
Vortices Found:
Plane of Death √
Abyss
Plane of Water
Mechanus
Celestia
Wizard's Tower
Generic Asian Dojo
What dethroned it, if you don't mind my asking?
It was more like from ages 7 to 11. Then I started reading Terry Pratchett.