Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Bdthemag]

"Bladed hands? This is even better than brass knuckles!"

Go find a mask or hood to conceal my face with.

I am turning into the parties tank

[Schilcote]

I am turning into the parties tank

I somehow doubt you can beat a nine foot tall slab of iron in the tanking department, even if there's sensitive clockworks inside.

[Nirur Torir]

Nirur frowned at the healing potion selection for a moment, again idly contemplating the risks involved in imbibing potions from unknown alchemists, even if they have a license. Yes, it was probably worth the risk if he lay dying, better then letting one of those scoundrels treat him, and he thought he recognized the seal certifying the blessed poisons. Some of that would surely be useful in the fight against whatever was defiling the planes. He wished he could afford to buy extra healing potions and make the alchemist prove that they worked as advertised.

After checking to make sure the alchemist is licensed, I buy a 20g blessed poison, a magic resistance potion, a heavy healing potion, and a moderate healing potion.

(It's a pity that I lack the worldly experience to identify scams, or I could buy more potions and less overpriced deathjuice.)

[SeriousConcentrate]

"Oh? This armor is yours? I'm so damn sorry," Ax said sarcastically. "You know what? Give me everything else you own and I won't gut your ass here and now. You hear me?" he said. Figures... as soon as I get something nice other thieves come out of the woodwork... "Who are you anyway?" he added as an afterthought.

[choobakka]

Sorry, would have had the turn up sooner, but I forgot Riccto asked me to AI him.

"Oh? This armor is yours? I'm so damn sorry," Ax said sarcastically. "You know what? Give me everything else you own and I won't gut your ass here and now. You hear me?" he said. Figures... as soon as I get something nice other thieves come out of the woodwork... "Who are you anyway?" he added as an afterthought.

(1) "I'm the guild's top burglar. You better watch out in this city - unlicensed bastards like you often end up hanging from the guild hall by their necks." He obviously wasn't as hurt as he looked, because he immediately lunges at you! (1) He trips and falls at your feet. (2+1) (dodge:2-1) You stab him in the (BP:5) armpit (damage:5) and he bleeds out quickly. You take his weapons (a good assortment of daggers) and his money. A thieves guild? Might have to watch out while you're in the city.
Ax gained Steel Daggers and 100 gp!

Nirur frowned at the healing potion selection for a moment, again idly contemplating the risks involved in imbibing potions from unknown alchemists, even if they have a license. Yes, it was probably worth the risk if he lay dying, better then letting one of those scoundrels treat him, and he thought he recognized the seal certifying the blessed poisons. Some of that would surely be useful in the fight against whatever was defiling the planes. He wished he could afford to buy extra healing potions and make the alchemist prove that they worked as advertised.

After checking to make sure the alchemist is licensed, I buy a 20g blessed poison, a magic resistance potion, a heavy healing potion, and a moderate healing potion.

(It's a pity that I lack the worldly experience to identify scams, or I could buy more potions and less overpriced deathjuice.)

(1) You see no license! This must be a trap designed to defraud you! (1) As you are about to interrogate the shopkeeper, some guards walk pst the door and see you menacing this force of darkness. They are either pawns in his game or evildoers themselves, because they start attacking you with cudgels! (1) (6) (1) Only ine of them reacts quickly enough to catch you (dodge:6-1) but you react and he only catches you with a glancing blow on the (BP:6) sword arm. (damage:3-1) Your armor absorbs the blow.

"Bladed hands? This is even better than brass knuckles!"

Go find a mask or hood to conceal my face with.

I am turning into the parties tank

(6) You see an illusionist's shop that appears to specialize in glamours! The shopkeeper looks like a beautiful young gnome woman, but when she sees you come in she sighs, waves her hands, and turns back (you assume) into an old crone. (3) "If you want a full-body glamour, it'll cost you 75, but I can do your face and arms for 50. After all, you're not going to be seducing any young women now, are you?"

'Ello 'der apo'. I'ssun wund'rin if you'da sell me that 40 G poisin ova 'der

(4) He looks a little intimidated by your appearance, and sells you the poison for only 30 gp. "It's a paralyzing poison, so if you stab someone with it on your blade they won't be able to move for the next ten minutes. There's enough in there to coat your blade five times in that bottle."

"A mage with a friend who was good with clockwork. I need steamwork components."

Buy (or perhaps just ask for) parts, ask mechanic for assistance with construction. Perhaps drag Riccto along too, his experience with exothermic reactions may come in handy.

Perhaps offer to let him have a look at my magi-clockwork brain in return for the parts.

Help with the transport

(4) The mechanic is glad to help, and gives you some parts for 25 gp. (3) You find Riccto, still lost in the druidic section of the magical bookstore, and drag him to the workshop to help with the fueling system. Construction! (Mechanic:6+1) (Schilcote:6+1+1) Um... That's like an artifact or something! +2 to power and usefulness. (Riccto:4) (Sanity:5) And Riccto does some awesome work on the fuel system. +1 to efficiency. The stats of the vehicle: (Power:6+2) It is essentially a steampunk jetfighter. It can go faster than the speed of sound.  (usefulness:2+2) It will rarely break down. (size:6) And, you seem to have built it around the mechanic's workshop. Looks like you just got a new best friend. (efficiency:5+1) It looks like it runs on the air itself. That is one badass flying machine.

Statuses:

Spoiler: Riccto (click to show/hide)

Species: Mutant
Description: A "Being" That stands like a man, the size of a man, but covered with horrible burns and an alchemists robe
Profession: Alchemist/Mad Scientest
Background:  He once was a man. Atleast he thinks so. But what he does remember is his knack for mixing up chemicals and herbs, always trying to find that perfect mix. But he has suffered his fair share of accidents in the lab
Home Plane: Astral Plane
Abilities: Master Alchemist, Mad Alchemist, Astral Denizen
Mutations: Alchemical Immunities, Four Arms,
Inventory: Bottle Sling, Cheap Chemistry Set, Leather Robes, Phial of enchanted gas, 50 gp

Spoiler: SeriousConcentrate (click to show/hide)

Name: Axolisin Sathael. He prefers being called Ax or Sin since he thinks it's awesome.
Species: Tiefling
Description: Short, pale, and skinny. He stands about 5'5 and 120 pounds. His hair and eyes are pure black and his pure white skin has light gray spots across it. His horns are goat-like. He spends a lot of time moping and figures since he's just so mistreated he can do whatever he wants.
Profession: Thief
Background: He's been kicked around his entire life as you might expect and resorted to thievery since Tieflings are branded as thieves and untrustworthy anyway. He's very small time and hasn't progressed much beyond mugging, purse stealing, pickpocketing, and robbing the poor.
Home Plane: Plane of Shadow
Inventory: Iron Dagger, Steel Daggers, Cheap Lockpicks, Black Leather Armor, Magic Ring, 150 gp
Abilities: Burglar, Good Eyes, Denizen of Shadow

Spoiler: Schilcote (click to show/hide)

Species: Golem
Description: Created as a result of DRUNK THAUMATOLOGY!. Was intended to have humanlike personality and intellgence. Doesn't talk much, but isn't stupid. Has no goals of his own besides survival, goes around helping people with various things for lack of a better purpose. Will do anything asked of him unless he has a reason not to (if it conflicts with an existing goal or his basic morality). Lawful Good (as in lawful as the opposite of chaotic). Extremely logical and unemotional. Dislikes entropic behavior. Is good with machines (clockwork and a bit of early steam power, I guess).
When he does talk, it sounds something like the above paragraph.
Profession: None. See above. Requires no food and builds his own shelter, and has very little interest in material goods.
Background: See description.
Home Plane: Material Plane.
Inventory: Iron Maul, Toolkit, 40 gp, Magitek Manuals
Abilities: Pneumatic Joints, Simple Personality, Material Plane Denizen

Spoiler: bdthemag (click to show/hide)

Species: Mutant
Description: An ugly looking mutant who hates most people.
Profession: A guard to a local inn.
Background: Created in a magic experiment gone wrong, he escaped and decided to live his live in a nearby city.
Home Plane: Material Plane
Mutations: Rhinocerous Skin, Hideously Hideous, Claw Hands[acronym]
Abilities: Alcoholism, Brawler, Material Plane Denizen
Inventory: Half-Brick in a Sock, 3 Empty Beer Bottles, Concealing clothes, Cursed Brass Knuckles, 50 gp

Spoiler: Nirur Torir (click to show/hide)

This character brought to you thanks to the wonderful racial descriptions.
Species: Aasimar
Description: Lawful Neutral, almost Lawful Stupid. He firmly believes in the tenets of his faith, and is willing to die to uphold them.
Profession: Paladin.
Background: His people believe themselves to be the only true guardians of the material plane; the best way to help the mortal inhabitants of said plane is by not touching anything. Obviously this is what The Creator had in mind, and any who meddle in the plane, and therefore blaspheme The Creator, are to be punished severely.
After three decades of military service (doing nothing), he has been sent out as a sort of test to determine the extent of the planer distortion, fix it if possible, find the perpetrators, deliver justice, then report back.
Home Plane: Ethereal Plane.
Abilities: Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking, Righteous Fury, Ethereal Denizen
Inventory: Holy Longsword, Mass-Produced Holy Symbol, Full Plate Armor, Enchanted Ring, 50 gp

Spoiler: ggamer (click to show/hide)

Name: Jo'Ldza (Big Jo)
Species: Orc
Description: We'sn orcs may be deesa jerks, but we's still hassda jobs. I'mn A big ork. Got'sa bald head, with red eyes and wella build a'ms. I'sa been a kaptain for more dan' twenn'y yea's. I 'elp keep the balance wit' mah krew.
Profession: Kaptain of an orc sailing ship
Background: Grew up on a sailing boat with his brother, who was also a kaptain. inherited kaptain'ism and crew from his brother when he died.
Home Plane: Water Plane
Abilities: Sailor, Swashbuckler Water Plane Denizen
Inventory: Rapier, Grappling Hook, Pirate Outfit, Magic Coin Necklace, Paralyzing Poison (5 uses), 20 gp

Allies:

Spoiler: Gnome Mechanic (click to show/hide)

You kind of made his house into your flying machine, so he decided to tag along. He is now going all fangirl over Schilcote, who he sees as almost a demigod of mechanics.
Abilities: Master Mechanic, Old Man
Inventory: The entire contents of his house, which you mae into a flying machine.

Vehicles:

Spoiler: Flying House (click to show/hide)

The house part belongs to the gnome mechanic, the flying mechanism belongs to Schilcote, the fueling system was made by Riccto. It runs on air and can easily break the sound barrier. It will almost never break.

[Schilcote]

HELL. FUCKING. YES.

Take her for a test drive. Perhaps borrow a bottle of champagne from our new mechanic and hold a christening ceremony.

I suggest we call it the Airship Emet.

"I foresee a problem. The orc will want to be the captain of this vessel. We must attain a canoe or small boat for him to claim as his own. We will tell him that the boat is part of our new fleet and that I am the admiral of the fleet as well as the captain of this vessel."

Attempt to find a small boat dealer, or even better, an abandoned vessel. If I can't afford or find a suitable boat, punch down a few trees and just make one, Minecraft-style.

[SeriousConcentrate]

O.O You get the deciding vote dude, that's your badass mobile headquarters.

"Yeah, well, maybe you WERE the top burglar in this city. But now Sin's in town, you hear me? Oh, that's right, you're just a corpse, getting blood on everything. Why am I even talking to you? I'm just wasting good lines here." Sighing to himself, Axolisin went through the tiefling's pockets and got some useful looking daggers and some money. "Psh, couldn't have been that good if this is all you got," he muttered, transferring the money to his own pouch. Thieves Guild huh? Didn't have one where I grew up. Wonder if I should join. Clearly they take Tieflings.

He kicked the corpse in the head, just because, while he weighed the pros and cons of joining. I wonder if I can just show up with this guy's head and say he tried to rob me but clearly failed, you should let me join up. Mmm. It's worth a shot, but knowing my luck a bunch of guards would just happen to walk by and want to know what I'm doing with somebody's head. He sighed, kicked the corpse a second time, and walked off to find his other party members. Maybe if he skedaddled out of town fast enough he wouldn't even have to worry about the Thieves Guild coming for him.

[Nirur Torir]

"Corrupt lawmen lapdogs guarding an unlicensed alchemist? Your taint must be purged from the city."

As these guards do not deserve to wear the uniform of guardsmen, I revoke their ability to do so by using lethal force.

[Schilcote]

Your taint must be purged

Are you doing that on purpose?

[Nirur Torir]

No.

[ggamer]

"Thank'sey verra much, ap- HOLEH FOOKIN' SHEET!"

see the flying house. approach it.

"Diss'un is a beauty!"

[Bdthemag]

Get my face and arms "Glamored"

[choobakka]

Get my face and arms "Glamored"

You give the crone 50gp, and (1) she casts the spell. She says, "oops," and hands you a mirror. The glamour is very convincing. You look just like a beautiful woman. Yup. Umm... Not exactly what you had in mind, but quite convincing. She apparently cast the full-body version, too. Well then. (1) And apparently it's permanent. And she won't give you a refund. That sucks.

"Thank'sey verra much, ap- HOLEH FOOKIN' SHEET!"

see the flying house. approach it.

"Diss'un is a beauty!"

(5) Wow... That's some ship... You run up and get on. You see the golem, the alchemist, and some old gnome staring at you.

"Corrupt lawmen lapdogs guarding an unlicensed alchemist? Your taint must be purged from the city."

As these guards do not deserve to wear the uniform of guardsmen, I revoke their ability to do so by using lethal force.

You decide to smite the evil with the full force of your will! (3) You swing at the one who hit you before (dodge:6) but he jumps over your sword (3) and takes a swing at you (dodge:3) which hits you lightly in the (BP:6) sword arm. Again. (damage:3-3) And does no damage. Again. (6) (4) The other two guards are coming at you! (2) The first one misses, (2) as does the second.

O.O You get the deciding vote dude, that's your badass mobile headquarters.

"Yeah, well, maybe you WERE the top burglar in this city. But now Sin's in town, you hear me? Oh, that's right, you're just a corpse, getting blood on everything. Why am I even talking to you? I'm just wasting good lines here." Sighing to himself, Axolisin went through the tiefling's pockets and got some useful looking daggers and some money. "Psh, couldn't have been that good if this is all you got," he muttered, transferring the money to his own pouch. Thieves Guild huh? Didn't have one where I grew up. Wonder if I should join. Clearly they take Tieflings.

He kicked the corpse in the head, just because, while he weighed the pros and cons of joining. I wonder if I can just show up with this guy's head and say he tried to rob me but clearly failed, you should let me join up. Mmm. It's worth a shot, but knowing my luck a bunch of guards would just happen to walk by and want to know what I'm doing with somebody's head. He sighed, kicked the corpse a second time, and walked off to find his other party members. Maybe if he skedaddled out of town fast enough he wouldn't even have to worry about the Thieves Guild coming for him.

(6) After putting away his stuff, you try to find the others. You see the flying house, and jump on. The orc, the golem, and the alchemist are there, as well as an old gnome.

HELL. FUCKING. YES.

Take her for a test drive. Perhaps borrow a bottle of champagne from our new mechanic and hold a christening ceremony.
I suggest we call it the Airship Emet.
"I foresee a problem. The orc will want to be the captain of this vessel. We must attain a canoe or small boat for him to claim as his own. We will tell him that the boat is part of our new fleet and that I am the admiral of the fleet as well as the captain of this vessel."
Attempt to find a small boat dealer, or even better, an abandoned vessel. If I can't afford or find a suitable boat, punch down a few trees and just make one, Minecraft-style.

(4) That is one fine airship. You think you could planejump her by extending your life force a little. You might be a little weary afterwards, but there would be no damage done. You christen her "Emet" wth a bottle of wine the gnome had in his kitchen. (4) You see a shop that sells enchanted boats. There's a flying dinghy in the lot. You drop the house into the parking lot, and go in to ask how much the dinghy costs. (5) It's apparently in good condition, for only 15 gp. You pay the rest of your money to get the orc something to keep him happy. He seems to enjoy it, and flies it around for a while.

(AI:1) Hey! Maybe I should make explosives in the engine room!

(Sanity:2) This will not end well. (2) You can't find enough materials. Phew...

Statuses:

Spoiler: Riccto (click to show/hide)

Species: Mutant
Description: A "Being" That stands like a man, the size of a man, but covered with horrible burns and an alchemists robe
Profession: Alchemist/Mad Scientest
Background:  He once was a man. Atleast he thinks so. But what he does remember is his knack for mixing up chemicals and herbs, always trying to find that perfect mix. But he has suffered his fair share of accidents in the lab
Home Plane: Astral Plane
Abilities: Master Alchemist, Mad Alchemist, Astral Denizen
Mutations: Alchemical Immunities, Four Arms,
Inventory: Bottle Sling, Cheap Chemistry Set, Leather Robes, Phial of enchanted gas, 50 gp

Spoiler: SeriousConcentrate (click to show/hide)

Name: Axolisin Sathael. He prefers being called Ax or Sin since he thinks it's awesome.
Species: Tiefling
Description: Short, pale, and skinny. He stands about 5'5 and 120 pounds. His hair and eyes are pure black and his pure white skin has light gray spots across it. His horns are goat-like. He spends a lot of time moping and figures since he's just so mistreated he can do whatever he wants.
Profession: Thief
Background: He's been kicked around his entire life as you might expect and resorted to thievery since Tieflings are branded as thieves and untrustworthy anyway. He's very small time and hasn't progressed much beyond mugging, purse stealing, pickpocketing, and robbing the poor.
Home Plane: Plane of Shadow
Inventory: Iron Dagger, Steel Daggers, Cheap Lockpicks, Black Leather Armor, Magic Ring, 150 gp
Abilities: Burglar, Good Eyes, Denizen of Shadow

Spoiler: Schilcote (click to show/hide)

Species: Golem
Description: Created as a result of DRUNK THAUMATOLOGY!. Was intended to have humanlike personality and intellgence. Doesn't talk much, but isn't stupid. Has no goals of his own besides survival, goes around helping people with various things for lack of a better purpose. Will do anything asked of him unless he has a reason not to (if it conflicts with an existing goal or his basic morality). Lawful Good (as in lawful as the opposite of chaotic). Extremely logical and unemotional. Dislikes entropic behavior. Is good with machines (clockwork and a bit of early steam power, I guess).
When he does talk, it sounds something like the above paragraph.
Profession: None. See above. Requires no food and builds his own shelter, and has very little interest in material goods.
Background: See description.
Home Plane: Material Plane.
Inventory: Iron Maul, Toolkit, 15 gp, Magitek Manuals
Abilities: Pneumatic Joints, Simple Personality, Material Plane Denizen

Spoiler: bdthemag (click to show/hide)

Species: Mutant
Description: An ugly looking mutant who hates most people. Permanantly disguised as a beautiful woman.
Profession: A guard to a local inn.
Background: Created in a magic experiment gone wrong, he escaped and decided to live his live in a nearby city.
Home Plane: Material Plane
Mutations: Rhinocerous Skin, Claw Hands[acronym]
Abilities: Alcoholism, Brawler, Material Plane Denizen, Curse of Beauty
Inventory: Half-Brick in a Sock, 3 Empty Beer Bottles, Concealing clothes, Cursed Brass Knuckles

Spoiler: Nirur Torir (click to show/hide)

This character brought to you thanks to the wonderful racial descriptions.
Species: Aasimar
Description: Lawful Neutral, almost Lawful Stupid. He firmly believes in the tenets of his faith, and is willing to die to uphold them.
Profession: Paladin.
Background: His people believe themselves to be the only true guardians of the material plane; the best way to help the mortal inhabitants of said plane is by not touching anything. Obviously this is what The Creator had in mind, and any who meddle in the plane, and therefore blaspheme The Creator, are to be punished severely.
After three decades of military service (doing nothing), he has been sent out as a sort of test to determine the extent of the planer distortion, fix it if possible, find the perpetrators, deliver justice, then report back.
Home Plane: Ethereal Plane.
Abilities: Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking, Righteous Fury, Ethereal Denizen
Inventory: Holy Longsword, Mass-Produced Holy Symbol, Full Plate Armor, Enchanted Ring, 50 gp

Spoiler: ggamer (click to show/hide)

Name: Jo'Ldza (Big Jo)
Species: Orc
Description: We'sn orcs may be deesa jerks, but we's still hassda jobs. I'mn A big ork. Got'sa bald head, with red eyes and wella build a'ms. I'sa been a kaptain for more dan' twenn'y yea's. I 'elp keep the balance wit' mah krew.
Profession: Kaptain of an orc sailing ship
Background: Grew up on a sailing boat with his brother, who was also a kaptain. inherited kaptain'ism and crew from his brother when he died.
Home Plane: Water Plane
Abilities: Sailor, Swashbuckler Water Plane Denizen
Inventory: Rapier, Grappling Hook, Pirate Outfit, Magic Coin Necklace, Paralyzing Poison (5 uses), 20 gp

Allies:

Spoiler: Gnome Mechanic (click to show/hide)

You kind of made his house into your flying machine, so he decided to tag along. He is now going all fangirl over Schilcote, who he sees as almost a demigod of mechanics.
Abilities: Master Mechanic, Old Man
Inventory: The entire contents of his house, which you made into a flying machine.

Vehicles:

Spoiler: Flying House "Emet" (click to show/hide)

The house part belongs to the gnome mechanic, the flying mechanism belongs to Schilcote, the fueling system was made by Riccto. It runs on air and can easily break the sound barrier. It will almost never break. Schilcote can planejump the ship, but will have -1 on all actions in the next turn.

Spoiler: Magic Dinghy (click to show/hide)

Bought by Schilcote to keep Big Jo happy. Flies as fast as you can row it (with the orc alone? Pretty fast.), enchantment is permanent.

[ggamer]

"Heh, I guess yous'n could keepsa' thiss'n. I'mma go flyeh now."

Fly around in the magic dinghy

[Nirur Torir]

I continue to dispense justice.

I preach about how evil shall never triumph, and that corrupted filth like them allow Evil to roam freely, destroying all that is Good.