HYAR'S THE TURN SCHIL.
yes what the hell..
while the ninjas duke it out remmove pick from foot and smith one side into an axeblade
You look at the ninjas and giggle a little. Then you try to remove the pick from your foot. (2) And fail. At least you didn't wedge it in deeper. This would probably be the best time to make it into an axeblade, now that it's not going anywhere... (6+1-2(You have no fire or anything)) Even in the absence of a forge, you still manage to craft an axeblade for your pick. The other side is still stuck in the ground. You make one last try and (3) budge it a little. (luck:1) The ninjas have resolved their differences and are now coming towards you! (3, 5) (dodge:6-1, 2-1) You masterfully dodge the one coming at you from the right, but the one on the left hits you hard on the (BP:1) head! (damage:1+1) It's only a scratch. Nothing flew off in an arc.
Ever since those early mishaps, I've been planeshifting quite effectively. Were I a thief, I'd likely have stolen some sort of mythril set of armor or something by now.
"You've certainly been quiet. Keep staying out of my way and we'll be through this quickly."
Your so-called song. It seared my mind irreparably.
"Perfect."
... I think the stone's behind and above us. You should shift around until you find it.
Run behind the throne! There's probably a tunnel back there, and some sort of dark artifact that needs smashing. Smash it repeatedly.
You walk towards the throne and look around it. (4) You see a tunnel behind the curtains, and go through. The sense of power increases as you walk through the darkened hall, and come upon a tomb. There are two coffins, one closed, with the name "Antonia Verklana" on the dais, and one open and empty, with the name "Dakonis Verklana" on the dais. "Dakonis" is crossed off with some red substance, and "Antonia II" is written in with the same substance. Poor dead bastard. He thought he was his dead wife. That sucks for him. At the end of the hall you see the stone, glowing with purple light. But that's not where the feeling of power is coming from, you realize as you walk past the coffins. The feeling of power is coming from the wife's coffin... The wife's coffin explodes, (dodge:3) and you get hit by a few pieces of stone, but not enough to do much damage. A figure, this one female and young-looking, wearing the exact same clothes stands up. Torir suddnly has control, as the body gestures. "
You thought you could kill me, but I proved you wrong. I used a fake body! Almost twice as strong! My poor husband's corpse served me well, kept me out of hell, but only until I could complete the spell! Let me tell you a secret: you promise to keep it, and not to repeat it? The power behind the tunes, that's me - DJ Phylactery, not a he, a she! I revitalized my body, to make me back into a hottie! You like me? I could let you stay here with me, be my king, my liege, kill that stupid paladin, bring the world to its knees! So what do you say? Wanna take my offer today?"
ALL CYLINDERS FIRE ON UGLY MC UGLy FACE FACE
Very eloquent. You fire on "Ugly McUgly Face Face" with Sam, Sword, and your fire breath. (3+1) You shoot Sam at him (dodge:4) and nick his (BP:5, 2) lower left arm with the blast. (damage:5-1) his carapace cracks, and he looks like he's in pain. You use your other arm to slice with Sword, (3+1) (dodge:5) but he dodges out of the way, (1) and you spit a gout of fire at Fred! (dodge:3-1) Fred is unable to move out of the way, (damage:5) and explodes in a fireball, (luck:5) sending some red-hot limbs flying at the monster! (dodge:2, 2) The monster is hit by an arm and a leg, in the (BP:4, 6, 3) right leg and lower right arm! (damage:4, 6) his right leg looks hurt, and his arm is severed by Fred's noble sacrifice! He lunges at your face with his pincers! (3) (dodge:4) You move out of the way. Remember, kids, no kissing on the first boss battle.
fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
AIM MORE CAREFULLY
You decide to focus on aiming with your guitar! No more flame turret this turn, though... (3+1) You send a power chord shooting at the monster (dodge:3) and hit it on the (BP:5) left arm. (damage:1+1) The dragon is unscathed. The twins shoot the cannons at the monster, (6+1, 6+1, 6+1, 4+1)
(dodge:6, 2, 6, 1) nicking it with two and hitting it ridiculously well with two more, on the (BP:6, 6, 1 luck:5, 4) right arm twice, down the throat, and right wing. (damage:4-1, 6+1, 5-1+2, 4+1) The right side of the dragon's torso literally fucking explodes. Like, boom. Probably from the concentrated awesome being perpetrated by those kids. And they got one down the flamepipe. That might be another reason. I mean, seriously. That dragon is dead. (luck:2) Or it's reconfiguring itself into another form. That of a flying house. Well, crap. It has four cannons, a flame turret, and a sonic cannon. They are so unoriginal.
"Just one thing," Axolisin said. "Kind of important, actually. Do you know where the Balance Stone for this plane is at? Kinda turns out there's this big impending apocalypse and all, so it'd be a pretty good idea to point me in its direction and all. You know. If you want to live long enough to enjoy that ring," he said, at his passive-aggressive best. The ring which you made me waste VALUABLE TIME GETTING, he thought, putting his hands in his pockets. Least I got something out of it. And the license. Oh, right. I'll have to ask Jo if he's ever heard of a ring of kraken seduction before, I can't believe something like that would be common at all...
Speaking of, he turned to the Orc. "You want anything?" Maybe it would work out for him too. At the very least maybe he could get a new rapier or something.
A new sword? a cannon? anything I can use would be helpful.
(Is Ax from Minnesota? Because he is a master of passive-agression. He has all of the non-confrontational skills. ALL OF THEM.) Naktinna grins at you. "I think I could help you with getting some gear. Here's the pay for the job." She hands Ax a bag of coins. "I heard about that stone. I think it's at the bottom of the city. And there should be a few weapon shops in the Underdome. that's the slums, below the surface level. The part that looks like an upside-down dome. Have fun." She walks away. Ax asks Big Jo about the ring, and he replies, "Oh, sure. We used t' play pranks on our buds back 'n th' plane of wat'r. Give 'em a ring of Krak'n S'duction, tell 'em it was Krak'n 'Void'nce, 'n' get 'em to go near the nearest Krak'n hive. Funny stuff."
Statuses:
Species: Mutant
Description: A "Being" That stands like a man, the size of a man, but covered with horrible burns and an alchemists robe
Profession: Alchemist/Mad Scientest
Background: He once was a man. Atleast he thinks so. But what he does remember is his knack for mixing up chemicals and herbs, always trying to find that perfect mix. But he has suffered his fair share of accidents in the lab
Home Plane: Astral Plane
Abilities:
Master Alchemist,
Mad Alchemist,
Astral Denizen,
Well-Read,
flightMutations:
Alchemical Immunities,
Four Arms,
Inventory:
Bottle Sling,
Good Chemistry Set,
Leather Robes,
Phial of enchanted gas,
Doctor's Bag, Plague Doctor Mask, Iron Dagger, 5 gp,
SAM, Infinity doses of
Wizard's Wallbanger, Mild Hallucinogen (10 doses),
SwordSpells:
Spined Hands,
Firebolt,
Thriller,
Name: Axolisin Sathael. He prefers being called Ax or Sin since he thinks it's awesome.
Species: Tiefling
Description: Short, pale, and skinny. He stands about 5'5 and 120 pounds. His hair and eyes are pure black and his pure white skin has light gray spots across it. His horns are goat-like. He spends a lot of time moping and figures since he's just so mistreated he can do whatever he wants.
Profession: Thief
Background: He's been kicked around his entire life as you might expect and resorted to thievery since Tieflings are branded as thieves and untrustworthy anyway. He's very small time and hasn't progressed much beyond mugging, purse stealing, pickpocketing, and robbing the poor.
Home Plane: Plane of Shadow
Inventory:
Steel Daggers,
Throwing Daggers,
Good Lockpicks,
Magic Ring,
Black Leather Armor,
Deadly Poison,
Self-propelled throwing discs, Thieves' Guild License, Ring of Invisibility, 60 gp
Abilities:
Burglar,
Good Eyes,
Denizen of Shadow,
Fancy Horns,
Trap MasterHealth: Fine
Species: Golem
Description: Created as a result of DRUNK THAUMATOLOGY!. Was intended to have humanlike personality and intellgence. Doesn't talk much, but isn't stupid. Has no goals of his own besides survival, goes around helping people with various things for lack of a better purpose. Will do anything asked of him unless he has a reason not to (if it conflicts with an existing goal or his basic morality). Lawful Good (as in lawful as the opposite of chaotic). Extremely logical and unemotional. Dislikes entropic behavior. Is good with machines (clockwork and a bit of early steam power, I guess).
When he does talk, it sounds something like the above paragraph.
Profession: None. See above. Requires no food and builds his own shelter, and has very little interest in material goods.
Background: See description.
Home Plane: Material Plane.
Inventory:
Lifeban,
Toolkit, 15 gp,
Magitek Manuals, Foot Jets (5 continuous turns/20 hops),
Sonar Cannon Guitar., Cool Shades
Abilities:
Pneumatic Joints,
Simple Personality,
Material Plane Denizen,
Oh Captain My Captain,
Armor PlatingHealth: Fine
This character brought to you thanks to the wonderful racial descriptions.
Species: Aasimar
Description: Lawful Neutral, almost Lawful Stupid. He firmly believes in the tenets of his faith, and is willing to die to uphold them. Was split into Nirur and Torir, god and evil respectively. A god of good put them back together, and they now are essentially one person with two minds.
Profession: Paladin.
Background: His people believe themselves to be the only true guardians of the material plane; the best way to help the mortal inhabitants of said plane is by not touching anything. Obviously this is what The Creator had in mind, and any who meddle in the plane, and therefore blaspheme The Creator, are to be punished severely.
After three decades of military service (doing nothing), he has been sent out as a sort of test to determine the extent of the planer distortion, fix it if possible, find the perpetrators, deliver justice, then report back.
Home Plane: Ethereal Plane.
Abilities:
Nirur:
Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking,
Righteous Fury,
Torir:
Puppy Kicker,
Evil BastardBoth:
Ethereal Denizen,
Split PersonalityInventory:
Variably Holy Longsword,
Variably Holy Symbol Full Plate Armor,
Enchanted Ring, 50 gp Scary Dagger
Name: Jo'Ldza (Big Jo)
Species: Orc
Description: We'sn orcs may be deesa jerks, but we's still hassda jobs. I'mn A big ork. Got'sa bald head, with red eyes and wella build a'ms. I'sa been a kaptain for more dan' twenn'y yea's. I 'elp keep the balance wit' mah krew.
Profession: Kaptain of an orc sailing ship
Background: Grew up on a sailing boat with his brother, who was also a kaptain. inherited kaptain'ism and crew from his brother when he died.
Home Plane: Water Plane
Abilities:
Sailor,
Swashbuckler Water Plane Denizen,
Dinghy Pilot, One-armed Man
Inventory:
Good Half-Rapier, Shirt, Pants,
Magic Coin Necklace, Ring of Fireball
Species: dwarf
Name: Azrael
Description: a short sturdy creature fond of drink and industry
Profession: blacksmith
Bio: got tired of digging and wants adventure
Home: earth plane
Abilities:
Dwarven Smith,
Drink and Industry,
Earth Plane DenizenInventory:
-Copper Pick / Axe-, Leather clothes, Blacksmith's tools, Mining helmet
Allies:
You kind of made his house into your flying machine, so he decided to tag along. He is now going all fangirl over Schilcote, who he sees as almost a demigod of mechanics.
Abilities:
Master Mechanic,
Old ManInventory: The entire contents of his house, which you made into a flying machine.
You saved them from some pirates. Yay!
Abilities:
Powder Monkeys,
Kids,
Air Plane NativesInventory:Clothes
A mindless cannon robot the size of a man. Has a shoulder-mounted badass cannon.
Abilities: Never runs out of gunpowder.
Inventory:
11 corrosive gas shells, 23 normal cannonballs
Vehicles:
The house part belongs to the gnome mechanic, the flying mechanism belongs to Schilcote, the fueling system was made by Riccto. It runs on air and can easily break the sound barrier. It will almost never break. Schilcote can planejump the ship, but will have -1 on all actions in the next turn.
First floor: Workshop, door outside, kitchen
Second Floor: Nirur's room (one cannon - left), Spare bedroom (one cannon - right), Engine room
Third floor: Spare bedroom, cockpit (two cannons - forward), Iali Boltcut's room, ladder to roof, Grav Cannon
Roof:
Pouting TieflingAx's "room",
Badass FlameTurret, Two swivelling cannons, Big Light
Special:
Shield Projector,
Air Generator,
Energy Generator,
Unbreakable drill, Mapquest Generator,
Bought by Schilcote to keep Big Jo happy. Flies as fast as you can row it (with the orc alone? Pretty fast.), enchantment is permanent.
Vortices Found: Stones Activated:
Plane of Death √
Abyss √
Plane of Water √ √
Mechanus √
Celestia √ √
Wizard's Tower √
Generic Asian Dojo √