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Author Topic: You Are Douchebag!  (Read 33010 times)

noah22223

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Re: You Are Douchebag!
« Reply #60 on: May 19, 2011, 09:29:40 am »

Go to the arcade. You'll score a geek here.
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So I'm a Depressing Jesus Wizard being stalked by Satan Lights, and my home's wiring is going bad?
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DinosaurusRex_x

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Re: You Are Douchebag!
« Reply #61 on: May 19, 2011, 11:56:17 am »

Go to the arcade. You'll score a geek here.

You hop on one of the shuttle busses back to town. 

The arcade is going to be just a few blocks away from the drop-off point, according to the new location marker on your iPad map that popped up when you leveled up.



             Lucky for you the return trip was free, cause...

Bring plenty of quarters. And some booze.

                    uhhh...  We've got a situation bro.



Damn!  You must have spent the last of your cash at that bar.



You are at the front of GAME CHAMP.  Where's your game, Champ?
« Last Edit: May 19, 2011, 12:15:24 pm by DinosaurusRex_x »
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Dr. D

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Re: You Are Douchebag!
« Reply #62 on: May 19, 2011, 12:20:36 pm »

Do you have booze?
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DinosaurusRex_x

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Re: You Are Douchebag!
« Reply #63 on: May 19, 2011, 12:29:49 pm »

Do you have booze?


                             No.
« Last Edit: May 21, 2011, 12:08:41 pm by DinosaurusRex_x »
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Dr. D

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Re: You Are Douchebag!
« Reply #64 on: May 19, 2011, 02:15:14 pm »

Can you get booze?
« Last Edit: May 19, 2011, 02:23:02 pm by Dr. D »
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BackTrak

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Re: You Are Douchebag!
« Reply #65 on: May 19, 2011, 02:52:31 pm »

Sidle up to the Dance Dance Revolution machine, select something J-Pop that will bring hotties with animal backpacks running up to check out your fly moves. Unbutton the fourth button on that Members Only jacket and Crank Dat Soldier Boy!! If needed, gain more attention by blowing your rave whistle at key moments in your routine. Over head hand claps could also be employed to bring 'em in closer to that soopa fly animal magnetism pull.
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Karnewarrior

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Re: You Are Douchebag!
« Reply #66 on: May 19, 2011, 04:28:37 pm »

Attempt to rob arcade using your finger-under-shirt patented and foolproof method.
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Thou art I, I art Thou.
The trust you have bestowed upon thy comrade is now reciprocated in turn.
Thou shall be blessed when calling upon personae of the Hangman Arcana.
May this tie bind thee to a brighter future!​
Ikusaba Quest! - Fistfighting space robots for the benefit of your familial bonds to Satan is passe, so you call Sherlock Holmes and ask her to pop by.

noah22223

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Re: You Are Douchebag!
« Reply #67 on: May 19, 2011, 08:01:07 pm »

You spent 500$ on one trip to the bar?!?
Woah woah woah.
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So I'm a Depressing Jesus Wizard being stalked by Satan Lights, and my home's wiring is going bad?
Goddammit.

DinosaurusRex_x

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Re: You Are Douchebag!
« Reply #68 on: May 20, 2011, 03:26:08 pm »

Can you get booze?

Maybe.  Can you?  You scan around and notice in the bathroom there's some punk kid drinking away from his flask.



Sidle up to the Dance Dance Revolution machine, select something J-Pop that will bring hotties with animal backpacks running up to check out your fly moves. Unbutton the fourth button on that Members Only jacket and Crank Dat Soldier Boy!! If needed, gain more attention by blowing your rave whistle at key moments in your routine. Over head hand claps could also be employed to bring 'em in closer to that soopa fly animal magnetism pull.

You don't have any money, so you stand around the machine until some JPOP sample comes up.  You try to emulate the dancers moves exactly.

You pretend that its your game and dance along to it.  You start to get a small crowd, but once you start clapping your hands up the sample game ends and the voice over begins.  They call you a douche and disperse.



Attempt to rob arcade using your finger-under-shirt patented and foolproof method.

You pop your finger under your shirt and attempt to rob the first person you see.

...   You get a little distracted in your target selection by the new arcade game...



You see somebody playing on the system..  You ask him for all his money.  You doubt he can even see your finger pointing out of your Ed Hardy shirt.  This thing was designed to absorb visible erections so things poking out are camo.



He turns to you and says "Son, I am disappoint."

Uhhh, that chainsaw looks active.   You GTFO his line of sight and he returns to playing, slicing and shooting his way to freedom.

You spent 500$ on one trip to the bar?!?
Woah woah woah.

No.  That $500 is in previous debt.  IOUs to people you conned into lending you money with your douchebag powers and already spent away or lost. 
Speaking of which...



DUDEBRO!  What'chu doing in an arcade, guy?  You like, owe me a bill, dudersville.  I'm almost going to beat STOOGE FIGHTER 3 and just need a few more quarters.  Pay up!

« Last Edit: June 16, 2012, 07:11:58 pm by DinosaurusRex_x »
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Dr. D

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Re: You Are Douchebag!
« Reply #69 on: May 20, 2011, 03:54:19 pm »

Tell him the kid with the flask owes you money, and you need his help to get it back.
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DinosaurusRex_x

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Re: You Are Douchebag!
« Reply #70 on: May 21, 2011, 11:54:55 am »

Tell him the kid with the flask owes you money, and you need his help to get it back.


Ehhhhh, yo guy der's dis kid y'see, he's all up in my business in the bathroom, when I like, have all this business and shit wit' him.  You'll be all Kenobi on me if you back me on dis huurr raid, seen?



Your bro re-pops his collar.  Then flexes his neck around as he gives DUAL THUMBS UP.

Aww man, you mean I gotta DO something?...   Ok...  But only because I really need the quarters.  And you STILL OWE ME, DUDERS.

                                                                           Let's do this!



                                 The two of you head on down struttin' yo #1 swagga march.



You and your bro stand right up to him, and right as you're about to talk he flashes HIS PIECE.



         OH SHIIIII-....   Dude is armed!

Dude means business.  Flashes you the CRAZY EYE.



What up now, homeslice?

« Last Edit: June 17, 2012, 07:10:58 am by DinosaurusRex_x »
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Burnt Pies

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Re: You Are Douchebag!
« Reply #71 on: May 21, 2011, 12:09:38 pm »

Offer that poor, suffering bro some eyedrops, he's clearly got some sick pain in that eye.
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Devling

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Re: You Are Douchebag!
« Reply #72 on: May 21, 2011, 01:09:21 pm »

Grab one of the arcade machine guns and mow him down.
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noah22223

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Re: You Are Douchebag!
« Reply #73 on: May 21, 2011, 01:10:50 pm »

Grab one of the arcade machine guns and mow him down.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWTFG3J1CP8
So I'm a Depressing Jesus Wizard being stalked by Satan Lights, and my home's wiring is going bad?
Goddammit.

Karnewarrior

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Re: You Are Douchebag!
« Reply #74 on: May 21, 2011, 01:12:49 pm »

Bitch slap that sucka
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Thou art I, I art Thou.
The trust you have bestowed upon thy comrade is now reciprocated in turn.
Thou shall be blessed when calling upon personae of the Hangman Arcana.
May this tie bind thee to a brighter future!​
Ikusaba Quest! - Fistfighting space robots for the benefit of your familial bonds to Satan is passe, so you call Sherlock Holmes and ask her to pop by.
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