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Author Topic: What Would Urist Do?  (Read 673332 times)

Dark One

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #6315 on: September 13, 2014, 08:31:49 am »

Urist can feel the stench of death. He is afraid of what inevitably comes closer to him. He can see the lone tree betwixt the hills, the only tree left after massive dwarven deforestation. He climbs up the tree, while  the zombie military commander with devillish grin watches his struggle for life. Urist knows what he wants to say "I can wait here for eternity dwarven fool!". He's stranded there, with no means of escape. He's crying as memories of his childhood came back. He still remembers the first tree he felled, and the toy he made himself, a wooden toy warhammer. He realizes that he has it in his pocket! In the desperate act, he throws it in the zombie military commander.
The spinnig wooden toy warhammer strikes Erist Lebremozen - militia commander in the head, tearing apart the skull and tearing the brain!
He survived, and escaped to the elven retreat, to forget what he have seen, and spend rest of his life with elven merchant Cacame.

WWUD If he embarked at the mountains of madness?

mate888

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #6316 on: September 13, 2014, 03:03:52 pm »

Strike them. Urist does not tolerate when people get mad at him.
WWUD if he was causing a loyalty cascade in the montuainhomes in order to overthrow the king and proclaim himself emperor of all dwarves?
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My second turn's unnoficial goal was to turn everyone into vampires, and it backfired so bad, I ended up making the fort a more efficient, safer and friendlier place.
Apparently they evolved a taste for everything I love and care about

Quartz_Mace

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #6317 on: September 13, 2014, 08:37:01 pm »

Strike them. Urist does not tolerate when people get mad at him.
WWUD if he was causing a loyalty cascade in the montuainhomes in order to overthrow the king and proclaim himself emperor of all dwarves?
Urist McManiac hacks the King in the head with his Steel Battle Axe and the severed part flies off in an arc!
The falling King's Head strikes Urist McHomicide in the right hand, shattering the bone!

Urist McMurder gives in to pain
Urist McBloodlust falls over

The falling Steel Battle Axe hacks Urist McNewRuler in the neck and the part is mostly separated from the body!

Urist McEmperor has been found dead

WWUD if he was a Demon and the Gods bound his soul to the living world through a slab?
« Last Edit: September 13, 2014, 08:43:32 pm by Quartz_Mace »
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mate888

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #6318 on: September 14, 2014, 12:12:52 pm »

Crash the game with his migth.
WWUD if dwarves no longer reproduced by spores?
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My second turn's unnoficial goal was to turn everyone into vampires, and it backfired so bad, I ended up making the fort a more efficient, safer and friendlier place.
Apparently they evolved a taste for everything I love and care about

vicwarrior

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #6319 on: September 14, 2014, 02:47:49 pm »

Crash the game with his migth.
WWUD if dwarves no longer reproduced by spores?

Reproduce by world-gen, it was the only real way they meaningfully reproduced.
WWUD if he was a child in a prototype dwarven child care pod?
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Quartz_Mace

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #6320 on: September 14, 2014, 02:55:34 pm »

!Urist experiencing emotional shock!

WWUD if he was thrown into the caverns as a geonaut?
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Welcome, newcomer, to this place of madness, also referred to as the forums of the Twelfth Bay. I hope you enjoy your stay.
Quartz Mace cancels living: demons embedded in everything.
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mate888

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #6321 on: September 14, 2014, 08:09:18 pm »

"Guys, what did you found there?"
"An olm men tribe!"
"Good, good. I'll negotiate with the locals."
Urist has died of tolerance.
WWUD if he invented a submarine after a mood?
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My second turn's unnoficial goal was to turn everyone into vampires, and it backfired so bad, I ended up making the fort a more efficient, safer and friendlier place.
Apparently they evolved a taste for everything I love and care about

Dark One

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #6322 on: September 15, 2014, 02:23:59 am »

Magma sailing!

WWUD If his magma submarine had human captain?

blazing glory

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #6323 on: September 15, 2014, 05:19:08 am »

Organic plating!

WWUD if his magma submarine had a human strapped outside of it?
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Insanegame27

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #6324 on: September 15, 2014, 07:45:23 am »

re-implemented otherrace butchery
WWHUD if the humans bones were used to make a floodgate?
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blazing glory

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #6325 on: September 15, 2014, 07:47:37 am »

Nothing, it's a vampire fort, stuff made out of human bones is normal.

WWUD if Dwarves started eating eachother?
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Quartz_Mace

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #6326 on: September 15, 2014, 03:04:32 pm »

He'd go into a fell mood and make a pick from their bones when done.

WWUD if he was kidnapped by the Elves and raised by them, much like Goblin baby-snatcher policy?
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Welcome, newcomer, to this place of madness, also referred to as the forums of the Twelfth Bay. I hope you enjoy your stay.
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mate888

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #6327 on: September 15, 2014, 04:56:23 pm »

Inverse Cacame time!
Or that would happen if elves could be badass. But as they can't, he would surely be a simple trader until being gutted put by goblins during his first day at job.
WWUD if he woke up to his fort empty, save by blood stains, sheers and cutted off beards all over the floor?
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My second turn's unnoficial goal was to turn everyone into vampires, and it backfired so bad, I ended up making the fort a more efficient, safer and friendlier place.
Apparently they evolved a taste for everything I love and care about

Cobbler89

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #6328 on: September 15, 2014, 05:36:58 pm »

Weave dwarf beard cloth, make dwarf beard cloth cloak, weave dwarf beard cloth, make dwarf beard cloth cloak, weave dwarf beard cloth, make dwarf beard cloth cloak, weave dwarf beard cloth, make dwarf beard cloth cloak, weave dwarf beard cloth, make dwarf beard cloth cloak, weave dwarf beard cloth, make dwarf beard cloth cloak, weave dwarf beard cloth, make dwarf beard cloth cloak, weave dwarf beard cloth, make dwarf beard cloth cloak, weave dwarf beard cloth, make dwarf beard cloth cloak, weave dwarf beard cloth, make dwarf beard cloth cloak, weave dwarf beard cloth, make dwarf beard cloth cloak, weave dwarf beard cloth, make dwarf beard cloth cloak, weave dwarf beard cloth, make dwarf beard cloth cloak, weave dwarf beard cloth, make dwarf beard cloth cloak, tame the giant cave crocodiles.

What would Urist do if the next update removed his position in the fortress?
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mate888

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #6329 on: September 16, 2014, 06:15:38 pm »

Demand a million war axes to kill Toady before the update is released, then get lynched by the other dwarves who really dislike nobles.
WWUD if he had awoken the wrath of The Toad?
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My second turn's unnoficial goal was to turn everyone into vampires, and it backfired so bad, I ended up making the fort a more efficient, safer and friendlier place.
Apparently they evolved a taste for everything I love and care about
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