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[blazing glory]

Enslave him, because he's obviously alright with it.

WWUD if he had to face off against a goomba?

Fight a long and hard battle and win but with a cost... and then get jumped on by a plumber with a half beard and red clothes

[WoobMonkey]

WoobMonkey cancels answer question: job item missing or destroyed.

WWUD if he had an internet connection?

[Lagslayer]

Lacking a computer, he weaves the cable into his beard.

WW the fortress's legendary cheesemaker D if he discovered Urist in this state, flailing about uncontrollably, frothing at the mouth, and shouting memes at the top of his lungs?

[Xanmyral]

Shout for the guards, he's obviously having a tantrum!

WWUD if locked in his room for a day with food and booze because people thought he was having a tantrum?

[Lielac]

Shout for the guards, he's obviously having a tantrum!

WWUD if locked in his room for a day with food and booze because people thought he was having a tantrum?

Really have a tantrum, because he doesn't have a table or chair.

WWUD if her lower front tooth was kicked out during a beating but the worst other injury she got was a bruised heart that healed up with no problems?

[Eric Blank]

Avenge the tooth!

Urist McToothMurderer has been struck down!

WWUD if he was assailed by a horde of vicious raptors?

[Xanmyral]

This is a masterful stone engraving titled "Clever Girl." There is a dwarf, the dwarf is fighting. There are raptors, one is behind the dwarf. This engraving is about the death of Urist McArcheologist at the hands of Raptors.

WWUD if carp's blood had became the best booze in the world, but the carp wasn't hindered by this fact?

[Scruffy]

This is a dead carp. It has been drained of blood. It is adorned with a fallen strand of beard hair and a few crumbs of cat tallow biscuits. The hair is long and brown. It smells faintly of Urist. Around the dead carp is a stream and a long trail of vomit. A cave adapted midget must have passed here not long ago. The stream is full of dead carps. The carps are drained of blood.

If you ask me, this would make carps essentially beardless, waterborne dwarves with bad temperament.

WWUD if Soylent Plumphelmet was people dorfs?

[Lielac]

This is a dead carp. It has been drained of blood. It is adorned with a fallen strand of beard hair and a few crumbs of cat tallow biscuits. The hair is long and brown. It smells faintly of Urist. Around the dead carp is a stream and a long trail of vomit. A cave adapted midget must have passed here not long ago. The stream is full of dead carps. The carps are drained of blood.

If you ask me, this would make carps essentially beardless, waterborne dwarves with bad temperament.

WWUD if Soylent Plumphelmet was people dorfs?

Bad temperament? Dwarves are already cranky little bastards, you know.

Urist cancels eat plump helmet: throwing tantrum.

WWUD if she saw a Pale ghost?

[Eric Blank]

Throw a bucket of blood at it and give it a hug. Neither of these things are effective because it is incorporeal and so the ghost tears her legs off. She bleeds to death.

WWUD if she found a spell to resurrect the dead?

[IronTomato]

Pale ghosts everywhere.

WWUD If there were no such thing as ghosts?

[WoobMonkey]

Urist McEngraver cancels engrave memorial: waste of time.

WWUD if infidelity were introduced into dwarfen relationships?

[klefenz]

Catten McUristHusband has been found dead, completely shaven.

WWUD if she found out humans are using alcohol as fuel?

[IronTomato]

Sue them for copyright infringement.

WWUD If plump helmet ice cream?

[WoobMonkey]

Urist McSpoiledbrat cancels eat: job item melted.
Urist McSpoiledbrat is throwing a tantrum!

The ice cream scoop hits the Woodcutter in the nose and the severed part sails off in an arc!

WWUD if given access to plastics?