Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[IronTomato]

Be injected by a clown with toxins as a flying singularity sucks up the entire fortress, because he forgot to board the emergency shuttle.

"Yep, there we go! APC destroyed, mission accomplished."

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Space Station 13

WWUD If he was Niko Bellic, and was tired of his cousin organizing parties at the gentleman's club?

[Detahramet]

Bang a hooker with his spores and then bang the hooker with his gun to get his money back.

WWUD instead banging a hooker with his gun?

[Lagslayer]

Bang her with his slade maul instead.

WWUD if the king mandated plump helmet wine socks?

[IcyTea31]

Go Fell and make dwarven blood socks of the finest quality out of the king. Blood is close enough to wine.

WWUD in Team Fortress 2?

[Mrhappyface]

Go Fell and make dwarven blood socks of the finest quality out of the king. Blood is close enough to wine.

WWUD in Team Fortress 2?

Scoff at the hats of plebians and sell a piece of headgear encrusted with every material imaginable for a quantum dump space's worth of keys.
WWUD when a Subway employee asks him what he wants?

[ParadoxicalGallifreyan]

Urist: "I'll have the *cave crocodile tallow roast* over +dwarven rum biscuits+. And a cup of -prepared troll intestine stew-."
Employee: "You expect me to make a roast out of fat? And biscuits out of liquid? I'm not even going to think about how revolting that last part is. Are you drunk, man?"
Urist: *stares at his +fungiwood wine barrel+*
Urist: "Is this a trick question?"
Employee: "Just pick something off the menu."
Urist: "But when possible, I prefer to consume prepared troll intestines. I've been tired of eating the same old thing lately."
Employee: "I don't care how unhappy you are, I'm not making that order."

Urist is throwing a tantrum!
Urist strikes the Subway Employee with the +fungiwood wine barrel+, jamming the skull through the brain and tearing the brain!
The Subway Employee has been struck down.


WWUD if the overlord told him to bring wood to trade with the elf caravan?

[Eric Blank]

Bring some old wood trinket.

WWUD if the elves traded their entire load for the wooden trinket and left, happy as can be?

[Just Some Guy]

Worry. I mean, he doesn't really like the elves that much, but they'd never do anything like that. Are they feeling alright?

WWUD if he was everything. Everything.

[ParadoxicalGallifreyan]

implode because he would contain all the things he detests. He would be in a perpetual state of ecstaticness and miserableness.

What would Urist McMayor do if the miners breached the HFS right after bringing some raw adamantine into the metal stockpile?

[Kolnukbyne]

Be one of the dwarves running down to haul the adamantine ore and get pushed to death by a Salt Brute.

WWUD if dragons actually had wings. And could fly. And could be tamed. And Urist was one of the chosen few to be one of the dragon-knights of The Locked Virgins, greatest of all dwarven civs?

[Lagslayer]

Put his dragon out to stud, then eat the offspring.

WWUD if all the horrible things he has done came back to haunt him?

[hops]

Go stark raving mad after prolonged exposure to ghost bees.

WWUD if he was the Elfborn, a dwarf with power to use magic by waving a branch around, and he is destined to defeat Alwemeduin, the People-Eater?

[Olith McHuman]

Alwemeduin eats Urist, then dies from alcohol poisoning. The end.

WWUD if other liquids could flow like water?

[Kolnukbyne]

Cascading rivers of Dwarven ale, lakes of dwarven wine, showers of dwarven rum! Terrifying conflagration the moment a single spark appears near the fort!

WWUD if his rum-river was contaminated with vampire blood?

[Eric Blank]

Drink it, then never get thirsty again. In the normal sense of the word...

WWUD if he hadn't had alcohol in as long as he could still remember?