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Author Topic: What Would Urist Do?  (Read 673347 times)

Baffler

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #6240 on: August 17, 2014, 12:55:12 am »
Pretend to respect their preference, but bribe the fortress' kitchen staff to ensure that dwarf always got the hated plump helmet meal.

WWUD if someone was tampering with his +plump helmet meal biscuits+ in exchange for gabbro earrings?
Logged
Quote from: Helgoland
Even if you found a suitable opening, I doubt it would prove all too satisfying. And it might leave some nasty wounds, depending on the moral high ground's geology.
Location subject to periodic change.
Baffler likes silver, walnut trees, the color green, tanzanite, and dogs for their loyalty. When possible he prefers to consume beef, iced tea, and cornbread. He absolutely detests ticks.

Blastbeard

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #6241 on: August 17, 2014, 03:46:38 pm »
Pretend to enter a fell mood and force feed the offender some <<-Dwarf Meat Biscuits->> , adorned with gabbro earrings.

WWUD if he had to choose between wielding hammer and shield or wielding hammer and axe?
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I don't know how it all works, I just throw molten science at the wall and see what ignites.

RailroadRider

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #6242 on: August 17, 2014, 04:52:06 pm »
Wield all three. Hammer in his right hand, axe in his left, shield in his mouth.
WWUD if he was dropped in New York?
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Quote from: PDF urist master on June 21, 2014, 06:38:20 am
I have an army of dragons. But they aren't very effective against goblins so I use giant cave spiders instead.
Quote from: miauw62 on October 29, 2014, 02:21:05 pm
There are dead babies all over my legendary dining hall and my population has halved. Thank you.

Baffler

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #6243 on: August 17, 2014, 05:33:57 pm »
Start guzzling booze at the nearest drink stockpile bar, then get thrown out because he tried to pay the clerk with a handful of copper coins. He tries to get a job at a factory to pay his bar tab; stating he is a "proficient weaponsmith and novice metalcrafter" and being promptly arrested as an undocumented immigrant. When the INS can't find anywhere to deport him to, they send him to Mexico out of laziness. He lives out the rest of his days there running a moderately successful bolt-splitting business.

WWUD if the fortress added a subway system?
Logged
Quote from: Helgoland
Even if you found a suitable opening, I doubt it would prove all too satisfying. And it might leave some nasty wounds, depending on the moral high ground's geology.
Location subject to periodic change.
Baffler likes silver, walnut trees, the color green, tanzanite, and dogs for their loyalty. When possible he prefers to consume beef, iced tea, and cornbread. He absolutely detests ticks.

hops

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #6244 on: August 17, 2014, 06:26:03 pm »
Become dwarf pancakes while taking a stroll on the rails.

WWUD if his wife turns out to be a clown?
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she/her. (Pronouns vary over time.) The artist formerly known as Objective/Cinder.

One True Polycule with flame99 <3

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TheDarkStar

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #6245 on: August 18, 2014, 05:42:15 pm »
Quote from: Objective on August 17, 2014, 06:26:03 pm
Become dwarf pancakes while taking a stroll on the rails.

WWUD if his wife turns out to be a clown?

Urist McConfused has entered a martial trance!
Demon Fakedwarf has been struck down!
(Urist McConfused is miserable. Urist McConfused recently took joy in slaughter. Urist McConfused has recently lost his wife to tragedy.)
Urist McConfused has gone berserk!

WWUD if he had a lever that would flood the world in magma but make everyone out of magma-safe materials at the same time?
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Don't die; it's bad for your health!

Quote from: tuypo1 on August 24, 2014, 09:25:26 pm
it happened it happened it happen im so hyped to actually get attacked now

Eric Blank

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #6246 on: August 18, 2014, 05:56:19 pm »
Pull the lever. All non-dwarf civilization comes to an end anyway as dwarves are the only ones able to produce livable conditions in a magma-encrusted world. By living underground, eating mushrooms, and shutting the magma-safe doors.

WWUD if he forgot to feed the horses?
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I make Spellcrafts!
Quote from: Andreus on June 09, 2011, 02:07:07 pm
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

cyberTripping

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #6247 on: August 18, 2014, 11:42:50 pm »
Be slaughtered by the animal caretaker's husband's brother's son, after the horse dies and kicks off a tantrum spiral.

Wwud if roller coasters were added to the game?
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Everything's in the news today

Olith McHuman

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #6248 on: August 19, 2014, 03:41:37 am »
Minecarts aren't for mining. They are for rapid delivery of limb and organ removal devices.

WWUD if he has a drink holder with rollers?
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cyberTripping

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #6249 on: August 19, 2014, 07:20:26 am »
Connect it to a dwarfputer and get drinks delivered to him wherever he is. And then a noble gets jealous and ruins everything.

Wwud if the second coming of Cacame the elven king of dwarves occurred?
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Everything's in the news today

calico103

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #6250 on: August 19, 2014, 04:10:18 pm »
Beat the Elven King of Dwarves' skull in with a backpack while simultaneously telling his friend that the fiend's return was inevitable.

What Would Urist Do if a random human claimed his fort in the name of a two-person group called The Stinky Cheese?
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This is the bomb!

And it's set to go off in fifteen seconds...

heydude6

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #6251 on: August 19, 2014, 08:15:18 pm »
Shout i hate you, spit in his face, run away and 5 minutes later punch him in the head from behind shattering the skull, jamming the skull through the outer brain and bruising the inner brain.

Wwud would urist do if he gets chased by a wereweasle?
« Last Edit: August 19, 2014, 08:31:30 pm by heydude6 »
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Quote from: Ama on January 12, 2015, 05:49:52 pm
Lets use the ancient naval art of training war parrots. No one will realize they have been boarded by space war parrots until it is to late!
Quote from: kj1225 on March 14, 2015, 07:35:48 pm
You can fake being able to run on water. You can't fake looking cool when you break your foot on a door and hit your head on the floor.

Edmus

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #6252 on: August 20, 2014, 05:04:50 pm »
"I must Withdraw!" x12

WWUD if there were a zombie in the cistern?
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Eric Blank

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #6253 on: August 20, 2014, 06:37:06 pm »
Complain about the nasty water.

WWUD if there were zombies everywhere but the cistern?
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I make Spellcrafts!
Quote from: Andreus on June 09, 2011, 02:07:07 pm
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

Baffler

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #6254 on: August 20, 2014, 08:06:21 pm »
Drown.

WWUD if he unearthed the Arkenstone while digging out new bedrooms?
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Quote from: Helgoland
Even if you found a suitable opening, I doubt it would prove all too satisfying. And it might leave some nasty wounds, depending on the moral high ground's geology.
Location subject to periodic change.
Baffler likes silver, walnut trees, the color green, tanzanite, and dogs for their loyalty. When possible he prefers to consume beef, iced tea, and cornbread. He absolutely detests ticks.
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