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Author Topic: What Would Urist Do?  (Read 673352 times)

Lightningy

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #6210 on: August 10, 2014, 07:29:10 pm »
kill mario and every character in supersmash bros then shoot himself

wwud if there was a dish-washing forgotten beast in his pants(dont ask me ::))
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'What is life?', you ask. Fundamentally life is the apotheosis of pointlessness. We live to multiple. But what for? The Endless cycle of carnage pulls hardest on the furthest victim. An inescapable fate; one no one wants but we all desire. The more immoral we become the more ideal we are. A perverse oxymoron. We who live unencumbered but are the most burdened. We fight but at the end it is all for naught, as in life there are no winners; only the undistinguished.

GENERATION 29:
Copy and add 1.

Baffler

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #6211 on: August 10, 2014, 08:23:36 pm »
Be riddled with dozens of crossbow bolts as the terrified 2nd Civil Crossbow Section fires blindly in his general direction, Titans and Forgotten Beasts are exclusively hostile.

WWUD if the fort had a Communist revolution?
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Quote from: Helgoland
Even if you found a suitable opening, I doubt it would prove all too satisfying. And it might leave some nasty wounds, depending on the moral high ground's geology.
Location subject to periodic change.
Baffler likes silver, walnut trees, the color green, tanzanite, and dogs for their loyalty. When possible he prefers to consume beef, iced tea, and cornbread. He absolutely detests ticks.

Lightningy

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #6212 on: August 10, 2014, 08:28:35 pm »
He would continue it, he IS the leader after all...
wwud if he found out that he was actually an avatar of Armok and had immense power and speed
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'What is life?', you ask. Fundamentally life is the apotheosis of pointlessness. We live to multiple. But what for? The Endless cycle of carnage pulls hardest on the furthest victim. An inescapable fate; one no one wants but we all desire. The more immoral we become the more ideal we are. A perverse oxymoron. We who live unencumbered but are the most burdened. We fight but at the end it is all for naught, as in life there are no winners; only the undistinguished.

GENERATION 29:
Copy and add 1.

mate888

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #6213 on: August 11, 2014, 09:03:19 pm »
Admire the trading depot, get a tantrum by miasma and kill the whole fort.
WWUD if elven caliphate?
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Quote from: Taupe on March 17, 2016, 01:43:01 pm
My second turn's unnoficial goal was to turn everyone into vampires, and it backfired so bad, I ended up making the fort a more efficient, safer and friendlier place.
Quote from: Cathar on May 09, 2017, 06:22:31 pm
Apparently they evolved a taste for everything I love and care about

klefenz

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #6214 on: August 11, 2014, 09:53:07 pm »
Kill them with drones.

WWUD castaway in a desered island with a goblin and an elf?
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cyberTripping

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #6215 on: August 11, 2014, 11:32:12 pm »
Kill the elf for food to get back at him for the cannibalism, and harvest the goblinite ore for tools.

WWUD if Giygas was summoned into existence?
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mate888

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #6216 on: August 13, 2014, 03:59:18 pm »
An abortion to save the world.
WWUD if he discovered the king of the Mountuainhomes was actually born of incest?
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Quote from: Taupe on March 17, 2016, 01:43:01 pm
My second turn's unnoficial goal was to turn everyone into vampires, and it backfired so bad, I ended up making the fort a more efficient, safer and friendlier place.
Quote from: Cathar on May 09, 2017, 06:22:31 pm
Apparently they evolved a taste for everything I love and care about

cyberTripping

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #6217 on: August 13, 2014, 10:04:25 pm »
Be unsurprised. He is a noble, after all, SOMETHING has to knock a few wires out of place for them to break away from Armok.

WWUD if a dwarven computer allowed him to play Dwarf Fortress 40d?

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kibaseviltwin

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #6218 on: August 14, 2014, 01:03:34 am »
He would believe it to be a hallucination from a bad batch of Gutter Grour, he would then alert the mayor to said bad batch, the mayor would then go to the Brewer questioning him on his supposed legendary Gutter Grour making skillz, who would then tell him he made the last batch of Grour the same as always he would then hypothesize that perhaps the last batch of Sliver Barbs weren't up to snuff, while admitting he was drunk as the mayor had previously mandate that all Brewers must taste test their lastest creations.

The Mayor would then pat the Brewer on the Shoulder telling him that it was okay and that after so many Grour Tastings they all taste alike, ad that he would follow up on his lead to the Grower, who would deny having ever giving bad produce to the brewer, stating "I han' pick each bar' me-self, Mayor, No-one bu me ever touches these things the lazy layabouts."

the Mayor then seized in Dwarven Fury about other not pulling their weight would then order all of the other Growers to a hammering, after the hammering the Peasant who had drunk the bad Grour would be happy that justice had been served.

WWUD if he had Boozebending
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: August 14, 2014, 01:05:38 am by kibaseviltwin »
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Arcvasti

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #6219 on: August 14, 2014, 01:05:02 am »
Make a giant BOOZE DRAGON and fly it into the magma as a burnt offering to Armok.

What would Urist do with a cinder block.
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mnjiman

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #6220 on: August 14, 2014, 01:22:28 am »
Death and the Entombed, by Urist.
"My brothers and sisters are dead, and I am the last one remaining. I was able to escape through a secrete passage that was reserved for the King... but he too fell.. As luck would have it, I was able to grab a Cinder block in the Kings throne room as I ran past his corpse being devoured. I know they spotted me, so my time is short. Rather then risking being raised myself, I decided to wall myself in an abandon room. If you are reading this, you now have the Cinder Block which I used. Use it, for they have already seen you as well."


What would Urist do with a 100 foot beard?
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I was thinking more along the lines of this legendary champion, all clad in dented and dinged up steel plate, his blood-drenched axe slung over his back, a notch in the handle for every enemy that saw the swing of that blade as the last sight they ever saw, a battered shield strapped over his arm... and a fluffy, pink stuffed hippo hidden discretely in his breastplate.

Lightningy

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #6221 on: August 14, 2014, 04:21:05 am »
rule the world

wwud if he was the last dorf
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'What is life?', you ask. Fundamentally life is the apotheosis of pointlessness. We live to multiple. But what for? The Endless cycle of carnage pulls hardest on the furthest victim. An inescapable fate; one no one wants but we all desire. The more immoral we become the more ideal we are. A perverse oxymoron. We who live unencumbered but are the most burdened. We fight but at the end it is all for naught, as in life there are no winners; only the undistinguished.

GENERATION 29:
Copy and add 1.

Chevaleresse

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #6222 on: August 15, 2014, 12:00:03 am »
Become an adventurer, settle in some human town, then wait for dwarven outsiders to magically pop into existence.

WWUD if magma turned into trees?
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wlmartin

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #6223 on: August 15, 2014, 08:24:39 am »
Invite the elves to a party and wait for it to turn back to magma again and watch in hilarity

WWUD if he found a time machine?
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Girubev

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #6224 on: August 15, 2014, 09:54:27 am »
He would wind up invoking Godwin's Law of Time Travel, except with *shudder* elves.

WWUD if Beelzebub had a devil put aside for him?
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Quote from: FallenAngel on July 23, 2014, 04:15:08 pm
Oh great, a Teddy Roosevelt Demon who can ban dwarves.
Just what you needed.
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