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[IBlameTheMagma]

Tell them all that they are going on an epic quest to throw the xX shoddy tin ring Xx into the fires of Mount Doom THE MAGMA SEA, then after dozens of epic adventures and beast slaying they all get to the magma sea where Urist promptly pulls a lever sending all of the rest of them into the magma sea and then diving in to pick up the kobolds -pig tail fiber sock- right before it disintegrates along with Urist.

WWUD if the local fluffy wambler population exploded and became even worse then The Great Catomic Bomb of 74

[IronTomato]

Infinite ammo.

Take over the world! Slowly!

WWUD If moose had the same properties as fluffy wamblers?

[Eric Blank]

Bash people with moose. And drown in a sea of moose.

WWUD if he had missed his appointment with the mayor and was sentenced to tantrummer snuggling duty?

[Skribbblie]

Tantrum himself and kill the mayor by throwing a minecart at his head, just before the former spotlight tantrummer smashes his head in with a hammer (seeing as the tantrummer is naturally also the hammerer).

WWUD if cheese could suddenly have quality levels, and on top of that, be forged into the finest socks in the world?

[Lielac]

This is a masterful rendition of a masterful carving of a ☼cheese sock☼.

WWUD if his alcohol addiction was replaced with a caffeine one?

[blazing glory]

This is a masterful rendition of a masterful carving of a ☼cheese sock☼.

WWUD if his alcohol addiction was replaced with a caffeine one?

Commit suicide because dwarf's never found coffee beans and never bothered looking for them.

WWUD if he had to drink decaffienated alcohol?

[Lielac]

Commit suicide because dwarf's never found coffee beans and never bothered looking for them.

WWUD if he had to drink decaffienated alcohol?

Urist has been miserable lately. He has suffered caffeine withdrawal recently. He has been hungover recently.

WWUD if beds required feathers and cloth?

[Nasikabatrachus]

WWUD if beds required feathers and cloth?

Slaves to Armok: God of Blood: Chapter III: Weregoose Fortress

WWUD if Werecarp?

[Blastbeard]

"OH SWEET ONOL, THIS IS MY NIGHTMARE! GAME OVER, DWARF, GAME OV-- Oh, it's airdrowning. Back to normal then."

WWUD if a space-wizard turned him into a kobold?

[Skribbblie]

Cry and curl up, muttering senseless babbles and utterances to his silver axe, which is now a large silver dagger.

WWUD if dwarves could forge large daggers?

[Eric Blank]

put them in all the weapon traps. Admire finely minced goblin feet.

WWUD if there were no more things to kill, and all he had were thousands of steel spears with which to find amusement?

[blazing glory]

put them in all the weapon traps. Admire finely minced goblin feet.

WWUD if there were no more things to kill, and all he had were thousands of steel spears with which to find amusement?

Stab himself thousands of times

WWUD if his friend was stabbing himself thousands of times with steel spears?

[highmax28]

Shake his head. "Damnit Urist, its WOODEN spears! Not steel! That's now how you make a proper danger room!"

WWUD if giant sponges could move?

[MrsStick]

Say "Mfmfmfmffmfmfmfmf" as Urist McFisherdwarf fished his last one.

WWUD if blood was the only non-forbidden liquid in the fortress?

[TD1]

....Vampire Fortress anyone?

WWUD with a fort made entirely of vampires, and he is the mayor. One catch; he's the only non-vampire citizen.