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[TD1]

Become Urist, The Ruler of the World, worshipful grace and Holy Lord of All that walks, crawls, swims and flies on the earth. And only then does he go mad with power.

WWUD if he woke from the above dream?

[WoobMonkey]

Get pissy, and start hitting his pets with his socks.  Really, really, hard.

WWUD if recruited into the space program?

[Urist McVoyager]

Go insane from sobriety, paint the rocket's walls red with his co-astronauts' blood, and press every button he could. It would be a very lonely and cold death, but he'd die in joy from the mass slaughter as the rocket reentered the atmosphere and crashed into New York City.

WWUD if he was surrounded by Drop Bears?

[Baffler]

Run away screaming from the one he was facing, straight into the ones he wasn't.

WWUD if he was in charge of finding a use for all of the fort's loose boulders?

[WoobMonkey]

Mandate that each and every one of them be adorned with rings of steel, and menacing spikes of soap.  Then drop them on himself.

WWUD if he realized he was an abstract piece of code?

[Beast Tamer]

Get out of the matrix and go on a bezerk rampage while wielding Toady One as a weapon, then elect himself President.

WWUD if he found out that one of the dwarves was actually an elven spy?

[Lagslayer]

Hide all the fort's secret, important stuff behind the magma chamber. We all know what happens next.

WWUD if a spy was sappin' his siege engine?

[IronTomato]

THAT CHEESEMAKER IS A SPY!

*blam blam blam gunfire noises*

Crossbowman: Pootis lever here!

Mason: Eeeeerectin' a lever.

*other misc chaos*

WWUD If HE was the spy all along?

[WoobMonkey]

Send in the Clowns!

WWUD if YOU were a new migrant to his fort?

[Eric Blank]

Deal with the other migrants, but notice that one of them seemed to turn around and go home immediately.

WWUD if he found the favorite sock of his lover next to a waterfall?

[Olith McHuman]

Stay away. Touching another dwarf's socks is the worst thing a dwarf can do to another!

WWUD if her boyfriend stole her socks?

[WoobMonkey]

Beat up all the livestock.  Because dwarf.

WWUD if he were Wile E. Coyote?

[Lagslayer]

Run faster than he can fall! Oh, wait.
Survive a billion pound boulder being dropped on his head! Oh, wait.
Spend countless hours chasing around a creature to no avail, and in the end, get horribly disfigured from the experience! Oh, wait.
Use hilarious cartoon physics death traps! Oh, wait.

WWUD if he was sick in bed, and the doctor was laughing like a madman?

[IronTomato]

See the doctor be put in the hospital, next to him, on account of a brain infection. There is no more doctor, so they both are bed-ridden forever.

WWUD if he was a deity?

[TD1]

Heal himself and the doctor, but forget to summon soap to the hospital. They die from infected sutures some weeks later.

WWUD if the puppies and kittens formed an alliance with the aim to kill the stunted murderers? Oh Armok, what if the elephants joined in