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[Olith McHuman]

Sounds like he had barrels of fun.

WWUD if mimes got into the booze stockpile?

[IcyTea31]

Nothing. The mimes would only drink the invisible booze in there anyway.

WWUD if clowns got in to the booze stockpile. (Normal clowns, not the especially Fun kind.)

[Chimpanzee]

Depends. If Urist is a soldier, he/she would go and stab/bash the clowns to death. If Urist is a civilian, he/she would run away with a barrel of preferred booze.

WWUD if he discovered all clothes he wears were made of rope reed instead of pig tail?

[☼!!Troll Fur Sock!!☼]

Scream in horror, drop them on ground, and instantly go berserkr about being nude.

WWUD if some accident in operating atom smasher led to a sock approaching his face at lightspeed?

[Olith McHuman]

http://what-if.xkcd.com/1/
Things do not end well for Urist. Or the landscape.

WWUD if the elves discovered how to replicate this device?

[Urist Mcfortwrecker]

replace the material of the bridge with Lignite, so that after it catches fire it never, ever goes out, burning all their wooden and cloth things and leading to the collapse of elf society

WWUD if he was captured in his attempt to do this

[hops]

Activate the device anyways, causing the elven retreat and everything in a uristmile radius to disintegrate by the nuclear-plasma explosion. Get hailed by the priests of Armok as a Martyr as the elves all surrendered rather than have this happen again.

WWUD if the world was a hammer with an adamantine hilt?

[Urist Mcfortwrecker]

mine out the hilt, rendering it unusable by Armok to create new worlds with, thereby eliminating Armok's power to create new worlds

WW Armok do in response to this?

[Mr Space Cat]

Armok would drop the hammer head on Urist's head.
A section of the world as collapsed!

WWUD with a mole of moles?

[hops]

Urist cancel do something: crushed under mole meat

WWUD if the humans built a spaceship?

[Remuthra]

Buy it for a high quality roast.

WWUD once in possession of said spaceship?

[Lagslayer]

Embark on the sun.

WWUD if he discovered that elves weren't really using magic to gather wood?

[hops]

Send a diplomat to impose woodcutting limit on the elves, citing their own ideal word to word.

WWUD if the elves ignored the diplomat and started to blatantly deforest?

[Kolnukbyne]

Borrow one of those Clown diplomats the humans occasionally send and let the elves say no to HIM.

WWUD if he discovered that elves actually had great, deep mines, built heinous traps, weaponised magma (and everything else), adored alcohol, built danger rooms for their children and soldiers and soldier-children and absolutely loved deforesting and treated the whole anti-woodcutting thing (and the ambushes that follow) as one big joke that everyone took a bit too seriously?

[Remuthra]

Throw them into an obsidian machine gun anyway for the heinous crime of nature that created such a beardless race.

WWUD if the game was finally won, having killed every other race and done everything possible?