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[Lagslayer]

Wonder exactly when and how his name became Fiköd.

WWUD with radioactive booze?

[hops]

Get fried by just being near the energy-emitting substance.

WWUD with radioactive cats?

[Olith McHuman]

http://www.mkv25.net/dfma/movie-518-nuclearcatsplosion
Sadly, Urist does not survive.

What would Urist McAdventurer do if throwing was nerfed?

[Kolnukbyne]

Throw a tantrum.

WWUD if his arms were replaced with tentacles?

[Andreus]

Apply for a job in the Circus.

What would Urist do with tomatoes?

[Cheesecake]

Put it on his toes. Cuz it's toe-ma-toes. Geddit? Ahahaha.

WWUD if he was captured and the only way to escape was to shave his beard and use it as a rope?

[flame99]

Die of dehydration

WWUD if he got access to DFHack?

[Hamsmagoo]

Get frustrated because it's not compatible with well-crafted diorite table.

WWUD if he found out how to craft turbans and arrows?

[Andreus]

Craft a cave spider silk arrow and a wooden turban because somebody fucked up the raws.

What would Urist do if he could manipulate probability?

[Facekillz058]

Nothing, he has the ability to, but can't because he doesn't KNOW he has the ability to.

WWUD if Beard Titan?

[Hamsmagoo]

+Beard Titan beard sock+

WWUD if undead vampire werechinchilla?

[Remuthra]

+Beard Titan Beard War Sock+

WWUD if thrown into the caves for pirating the War Sock?

[Kolnukbyne]

+Beard Titan Beard Survival Sock+

WWUD if socks were sentient beings with immense psychic powers and a hatred for all things living and unliving?

[Cheesecake]

Wear them to negate their psychic effect and absorb the radiation as heat for his feetsies.

What would Urist name his Bay12 account?

[Eric Blank]

Kogan Uristagak

WWUD if his fellow dorfs abandoned him?