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[Phlum]

walk around in a pack with all his freinds who also where dorf hats and generaly have a good time untill walking into a trap of random goblinite and a <*Bassalt Mechanism*>

WWUD If GLaDOS began testing him.

[Eric Blank]

Open a portal to hell, unleash HFS, conquer GLaDOS' entire facility, then the world. Have some beer.

WWUD if he was the most dangerous being alive?

[Corai]

What's new?

WWUD if he WASN'T the most dangerous being alive?

[Spinning Fly]

Become the most dangerous being alive.

WWUD if he gets atom-smashed?

[Mr Space Cat]

"Urist has been content lately. He admired a very fine drawbridge recently."

WWUD if he was the drawbridge?

[Scootagoose]

Urist McDrawBridge cancels smash goblin invaders: Interrupted by Goblin invaders.




WWUD if he were a goblin invader?

[Eric Blank]

Kill all his relatives whilst ransacking the fortress of his birth.

WWUD if in a high fantasy story setting?

[Lagslayer]

Kill all the fantastical things because he can, and so it becomes low fantasy once more.

WWUD if his cats were drinking all the booze?

[Scootagoose]

Kill his cat in a tantrum which causes his wife to tantrum who kills a guard and causes Urist to tantrum because he was best friends with the guard...




WWUD if he caused a tantrum spiral?

[IronyOwl]

Be beaten to death like everyone else.

WWUD if a friend asked him to help murder the corrupt baron?

[Detahramet]

Have his friend locked up for conspiracy to murder the baron. In jail his friend sits there, contemplating his life whilst sipping fine Sunshine and Eating his Syrup-unicorn roast, whilst admiring the adamantine statue in the corner. He can't help but feel that the fort is doomed because of the baron, and if only Urist had taken the silver warhammer how much better life could have been for everyone. Upon finishing his roast he chooses to go to sleep on his down-bed. He dreams of many things, most prominently of the actions of other dwarves. You see, dwarves are interconnected on a sub-conscious level, hence why a mason knows to gather the obsidian a hauler has just places in the storage half a mile away, or a butcher knows which kittens to slaughter despite them having no unique differences from pet kittens. He dreams of a lever being built in dinning room, and floadgate in the ceiling of the Baron's regal room, and a tunnel tapping in to the well's water pipe. A miner gets the twinge in the back of his skull to create this tunnel, the mason a floodgate, and machinist the lever. And Urist, the urge to pull the lever as the  Baron goes to take a nap.

WWUD if he knew how to read and write?

[Mr Space Cat]

He'd be "honored" with the task of being the Manager/Broker/Bookkeeper, get forcefed vampire blood, then get locked in his study for all eternity. Same as every fort.

WWUD if he was tasked with forging bronze giant axe blades, then smelt them down again, then reforge them, then smelt them down again, then forge them again, then smelt them down again, and do it over and over and over again?

[IcyTea31]

Run out of fuel, then throw a party with every wood burner and furnace operator in the fortress. Then die in a goblin ambush because there wasn't enough metal for the military.

WWUD if he saw a forgotten beast made out of booze? with a syndrome causing liver failure?

[Detahramet]

Drink it. Fun ensues.

WWUD if dwarves could have hangovers (not just alcohol withdrawal)?

[☼!!Troll Fur Sock!!☼]

He would be unable to even roll around on floor for five years.

WWUD If he accidentally his beloved Troll Fur Sock to lava river?