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[GreatWyrmGold]

Nothing. Same that you and I do.
HA HA HA!

What would Urist do in a modern-day office?

[Olith McHuman]

Discover this strange dark liquid known as coffee. Then make the mistake of drinking an entire barrel of it and start bouncing off the walls.

WWUD if the break room was below par?

[Facekillz058]

Throw a tantrum and throw the water machine at his boss, after eating someone elses sandwich.

WWUD If suddenly, Solitare?

[Olith McHuman]

Urist cancels be marginally productive: interrupted by solitaire.

WWUD if he was starving, yet unable to tear himself away from solitaire?

[misko27]

Urist cancles make descision: Interupted by Angry Overseer

WWUD If The overseer was angry at him?

[Detahramet]

get the inexplicable urge to walk into that small room over there, the one that no one can see into, with a raised drawbridge at the end it and take a nap.

WWUD if the overseer valued her life more than the lives of any other dwarf, or even candy?

[GreatWyrmGold]

Nothing he can do, right now.

What would Urist do when dropped into a safe, secure bunker?

[pisskop]

Throw a party where he manages to slip and break both hands, then lie umconcious for a week because I...

WWUD with a stubbed toenail?

[Olith McHuman]

Go to the hospital, where Urist McFailDoctor diagnosis him with rotting lungs and surgically removes them.

WWUD if ordered to melt down a cage containing a dragon?

[Urist McPenguinhead]

Melt down the cage, obviously, and subsequently release the dragon onto the fortress. He was just doing what he was told.

WWUD if his beard was shaven off while he was sleeping?

Edit: Also I am up to 1 post per day! yay!

[Gaybarowner]

He would "accidently" Let in the entire zombie horde into the fortress as a playful joke



WWUD if he was hired as a coder for Dwarf fortress

[Detahramet]

Everything is now drinkable as booze. And dwarves are now eternally thirsty.

WWUD if suddenly Cardgames on Motorcycles!?!?

[brainfreez]

while doing that he would divide by zero creating a black hole wich would create a paradox and turn all objects in the universe to blue carrots .
 
WWUD with PS3 ?

[Lagslayer]

Tantrum because no backwards compatibility and SONY revoked the right to put his Dwarfputer© OS on it.

WWUD if he was a Jedi?

[Sus]

Anger --> Dark Side --> Urist McSkywalker, Jedi has gone berserk!
The Jedi slashes the Youngling in the head with his *light saber* and the severed part sails off in an arc! x30
...
The Master Jedi slashes the Jedi in the right upper leg with his ☼light saber☼ and the severed part sails off in an arc!
The Master Jedi slashes the Jedi in the left upper leg with his ☼light saber☼ and the severed part sails off in an arc!
The Master Jedi slashes the Jedi in the right upper arm with his ☼light saber☼ and the severed part sails off in an arc!
Urist McSkywalker, Jedi has been struck down. (Or Has He?)

WWUD if he woke up and noticed he'd turned into a large roach?