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[Monk321654]

Light it on fire because pink is inexplicably an elven color.

Whoa whoa WHOA! Hold up there, friend! I must attest that pink is NOT an Elf color!
Pink is another shade of red, and red is the color of both blood AND magma!
Now green, that's an elf color. Freakin' trees and crap.

[Lagslayer]

single-handedly defeat them with his bare hands. and get killed by a dingo.


WWUD if he could feel his fingers in the middle of summer?

Go on breaks more often. Mining is rough work!

WWUD with a metric ton of jell-o mix?

[adasdad]

modify the raws to turn fish into pineapple, and pour the mix into the ocean.

WWUD if he saw a gobblin turning a bag of holding inside out?

[StreetPizza]

Whack the goblin with his +copper pickaxe+ and stuff the corpse inside.

WWUD if he had a whole crate of assorted fruit-flavored milk?

[Hanslanda]

Tell the elves he'd trade it to them, when the caravan arrives, pull the depotdeath lever and wait.

WWUD if there was two levers before him and he could only pull one?

[Zecro_The_Scourge]

He'd somehow manage to pull both at the same time, evidently both were water and magma and he is turned into an obsidian statue.

WWUD: If he discovered bismuth bronze and bauxite at the same time?

[Corai]

Dig more, realize he dug into another fortress's bismuth bronze walls.

WWUD if he dug into another dwarven fort?

[StreetPizza]

Throw a party, thus grinding the other fort's productivity to a halt; the other fort will retaliate by sending their own Urist to dig another path up (instead of using the already-dug path because that's the Dorfen way) to the original Urist's base and throwing a party of his own. War was beginning ensues.

WWUD if he were a Legendary +5 milk tea maker?

[Firehawk45]

get drafted into the military.

WWUD if he had a nightmare?

[Zecro_The_Scourge]

Urist has been struck by melancholy! Urist is happy. Urist has recently admired a platinum trade depot.

WWUD: If he found a computer loaded with dwarf fortress in it, and he is shown on it doing what he is doing now... (dorfception)

[adasdad]

become deluded that he lives in a world without magic, dominated by science.  his subconscious comes up with the idea that he is a human playing a game to explain the computer, and he sees the world not as a fortress, but as a forum. #paranoiafuel


WWUD if plump helmets were perfect fuel for killing tiny cowards?

[Zecro_The_Scourge]

Urist would simply eat them and expel gases in a rather flame inhabited place. *hint* fuel

WWUD: If he discovered minecraft

[jaxy15]

Run away from every animal until night time, then get killed by a skeleton because bows are evil.

WWUD if he was Dragonborn?

[Lagslayer]

Slowly get angry due to lack of booze, being attacked by undead, etc., culminating in him yelling at an authority figure. There are no survivors.

WWUD if water pressure was more realistic?

[Facekillz058]

Survive, for once.

WWUD If all he had was a crutch, a sheild, and encounted hundreds of goblins all out for dwarven blood?