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[crazysheep]

Eat both of them too.

WWUD if a bronze colossus was in his bed?

[adasdad]

Urist cancels sleep: obstruction blocking path.
Fortunately, Urist was a noble about to get magma'd the lever was already pulled, and the colossus was melted down.

WWUD if in order to resurrect his love, he had to destroy 16 idols by killing the colossi they represent?

[Eric Blank]

Get eaten by crocodiles because he had to cross a river about 30 meters outside of town to get to the very last colossus.

WWUD if he discovered the physical laws governing the atom-smasher?

[adasdad]

in the process of discovering them, he had accidentally caused a resonance cascade, opening a portal to xen.  Urist Freeman ensues.



WWUD if he was Urist Freeman?

[Eric Blank]

Get all the way to the final boss, then get cut down by vortigaunts right outside.

WWUD if he got a slab reading "the secrets of zapping your dumb ass" from a dead vortigaunt hiding behind a generic vending machine?

[adasdad]

use his power to conquer the elves, who due to a curse were transformed into unintelligent donkeys.

WWUD when he conquered the donkelves?

[crazysheep]

Make -donkelve leather backpack-.

WWUD with these backpacks?

[adasdad]

fill them with booze and *plump helmet roasts* and go on an expedition to find the legendary city El Algodón De Azúcar

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

WWUD if he and his friend discovered it?

[brainfreez]

he would be telling stories about his adventures , but when noone would belive , he would go stark raving mad , drop his pants and run around in dining hall.

WWUD if someone would bite off urists nose while he is sleeping? (kadol McNosebitter has enyoyed a truly decadent meal lately)

[grimman007]

"What is that smell!?"
"Sorry, Kadol, I can't say because YOU BIT MY ARMOK DAMNED NOSE OFF!!
"I'll never live that down, will I?"

WWUD if he was taught the secrets of Area 51?

[Corai]

Release the aliens.


WWUD if a elf asked him "Whats soaking wet and clueless?" while holding a bucket of water?

[Monk321654]

Respond "That Dragon." Whilst pointing behind the elf.
Urist then runs for his/her life while the elf is baked to a crisp.
The dragon had no idea Urist was there, and had recently swam through a lake.

WWUD if Dragons shot broiling magma instead of Dragonfire?

[Eric Blank]

Have a moderately better chance to escape, as the magma flows more slowly.

WWUD when the goblins send their best heavy metal band to sing about beer outside the walls?

[adasdad]

fight them off with DWARVEN DUBSTEP. (the best kind.)
besides, goblin beer sucks.


WWUD if he saw a reference to a story he liked get shot down with a cop out involving a dragon?

[grimman007]

Elves Hate Detected. Firing Orbital Magma Friendship Cannon.

WWUD if he found an AT-AT?