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Author Topic: What Would Urist Do?  (Read 672271 times)

reteip9

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #1350 on: April 02, 2012, 06:17:56 am »
Try and hug it.

WWUD if said elephant just ate his masterwork cave spider silk sock
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Quote from: ThatAussieGuy on November 30, 2011, 04:32:41 am
If it were Failcannon, a siege butchering the population would constitute an event of minor interest that would barely be mentioned in comparison to the overseer's latest obsessive construction.

jaxy15

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #1351 on: April 02, 2012, 06:58:29 am »
Grab the elephant by the trunk, and throw it into a tree, thus blowing the elephant apart. Then he would kill the entire fortress.

WWUD if he had the strength of a thousand elephants?
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Quote from: JJtoocool on October 23, 2011, 01:29:43 am
Dwarf Fortress: Threats of metabolism.

MiniMacker

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #1352 on: April 02, 2012, 01:58:26 pm »
Become drafted to the military, then constantly be on breaks.

WWUD if he were prone to rage:1?
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Quote from: ThatAussieGuy on February 18, 2012, 09:01:38 am
It isn't a new Dwarf Fortress version until we're made to fear some kind of regular creature.  Carp, Elephants, Unicorns, Badgers, and now Mosquitos.  I've got 5 dorfBucks on the next one being plagues of groundhogs.

Lagslayer

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #1353 on: April 02, 2012, 08:54:57 pm »
Slaughter sieges whilst unarmed and unskilled because they interrupted his sock hauling.

WWUD if he stumbled upon Armok's hidden !!WORKSHOP!!?
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Olith McHuman

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #1354 on: April 03, 2012, 12:52:20 am »
Be used in a reaction too horrible to describe.

WWUD if he discovered that he can actually carry more than one seed at a time?
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mnjiman

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #1355 on: April 03, 2012, 12:58:49 am »
He would carry so many seeds at once that he would no longer be able to move and end up starving to death.


WWUD if he lived in a solid adamantine room?
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I was thinking more along the lines of this legendary champion, all clad in dented and dinged up steel plate, his blood-drenched axe slung over his back, a notch in the handle for every enemy that saw the swing of that blade as the last sight they ever saw, a battered shield strapped over his arm... and a fluffy, pink stuffed hippo hidden discretely in his breastplate.

Epithemius

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #1356 on: April 03, 2012, 01:25:29 am »
Release the clowns.

WWUD if he had freedom of speech, even against the mighty overseer?
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Olith McHuman

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #1357 on: April 03, 2012, 01:40:48 am »
Wonder why he suddenly talks in [UTTERANCES].

WWUD if he looked up and saw a cloud of goblin arrows raining down on him?
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Lagslayer

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #1358 on: April 03, 2012, 02:05:02 am »
Cause a loyalty cascade, because those arrows were made from goblins, by the other dwarves.

WWUD with an all-elf harem.
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grimman007

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #1359 on: April 03, 2012, 06:44:51 pm »
Make the first Dwelf, a horrid abomination with all the sociopathic tendencies of a dorf combined with the disregard for moral eating habits of an elf.

We should totally mod that in. Maybe make dwelfs feared and hated by both dorf and elf.

WWUD if he realized that immoral bastards were controlling him and his peers?
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Quote from: Clotifoth on October 08, 2011, 10:00:05 pm
Urist's Mod! Spawnable NPCs include bogeymen, bronze colossi and a random Forgotten Beast, generated on the fly and animated for your vomit.  Also magma.

mnjiman

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #1360 on: April 03, 2012, 10:14:15 pm »
Go insane, take off all of his clothes in defiance and starve himself to death in an attempt to go on strike for free will.

WWUD if he just learnt he could of used mine-carts all these years instead of carrying one rock at a time to the stock pile?
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I was thinking more along the lines of this legendary champion, all clad in dented and dinged up steel plate, his blood-drenched axe slung over his back, a notch in the handle for every enemy that saw the swing of that blade as the last sight they ever saw, a battered shield strapped over his arm... and a fluffy, pink stuffed hippo hidden discretely in his breastplate.

Malt_Hitman

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #1361 on: April 03, 2012, 11:53:32 pm »
Not give a damn because he was too busy being the only bloodthirsty, goblin slayer on duty for his entire fortress’s short and disastrous history.

WWUD if the natural beauty of his fortress was being defiled by Dwelf monstrosities?
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Lagslayer

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #1362 on: April 04, 2012, 12:50:39 am »
Be ordered to cut some trees, then promptly be hammered for it.

WWUD if he could talk to the trees/plants?
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Olith McHuman

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #1363 on: April 04, 2012, 05:55:16 am »
Why hello mister tree! Do you know what I see in you? A nice comfortable bed!
*chop* Ow!
Or maybe a door...
*chop* Ow! Stop that!
Oh I know! Charcoal for our forges!
*chop* *splinter* *crash* My life has been in vain!


What would Urist McChild if the opportunity to ride the fort's mine cart roller-coaster ... presented itself?
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Schizotek

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Re: What Would Urist Do?
« Reply #1364 on: April 04, 2012, 06:57:35 pm »
Get run over attempting to get in and cause a tantrum spiral.
WWUD if he had a gun?
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Imagine the will it took to create a fortress like this. And what have you elves built? Nothing. You can only loot and break. You're not dwarves!! You're just termites at Versailles.

It's not that I don't suffer, it's that I know the unimportance of suffering, I know that pain is to be fought and thrown aside, not to be accepted as part of one's soul and as a permanent scar across one's view of existence.
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